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| Live with Korean friend or school housing? |
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| Total Votes : 21 |
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lithium

Joined: 18 Jun 2008
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Who's Your Daddy?
Joined: 30 May 2010 Location: Victoria, Canada.
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Posted: Tue Apr 09, 2013 4:01 pm Post subject: |
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| I'd worry you'll become the family tutor if you live together. |
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Scorpion
Joined: 15 Apr 2012
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Posted: Tue Apr 09, 2013 5:32 pm Post subject: |
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OP, ignore PatrickBusan. He hasn't lived in Korea in six years. His advice is worthless. Take your advice from people who actually live here. Noone is saying "lock Korea out of your life". What people are saying is that there will be many times when you want to lock it out of your home. There will be days when you will despise aspects of Korea (the hundreds of annoying things add up). There will be times when you will experience culture shock. There will be many days when you get home from work and you desire nothing more than to lock your door, put on headphones and put in a movie....and lock Korea out. Blocking Korea out of certain aspects of your daily life (especially your home) is one of the survival tricks to living and working in Korea. The sooner one learns this the better. Sure you can invite a friend over, but here you are in control. You can't control who your roommate will bring over..and Koreans do everything in groups. Groups!
If you value your friendship with your friend I'd suggest living apart. Everyone needs their boundaries and their 'space'. And that applies triply to foreigners working in Korea.
We control very little in this country. Your home is the only place where you are totally in control. Don't give that up. |
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le-paul

Joined: 07 Apr 2009 Location: dans la chambre
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Posted: Tue Apr 09, 2013 6:39 pm Post subject: |
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id suggest not listening to a word anyone says and just do what you intended to do in the first place. it seems like you already made your mind up.
move in with her, itll be a lot of fun
live and learn |
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itiswhatitis
Joined: 08 Aug 2011
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Posted: Tue Apr 09, 2013 8:46 pm Post subject: |
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| Scorpion wrote: |
OP, ignore PatrickBusan. He hasn't lived in Korea in six years. His advice is worthless. Take your advice from people who actually live here. Noone is saying "lock Korea out of your life". What people are saying is that there will be many times when you want to lock it out of your home. There will be days when you will despise aspects of Korea (the hundreds of annoying things add up). There will be times when you will experience culture shock. There will be many days when you get home from work and you desire nothing more than to lock your door, put on headphones and put in a movie....and lock Korea out. Blocking Korea out of certain aspects of your daily life (especially your home) is one of the survival tricks to living and working in Korea. The sooner one learns this the better. Sure you can invite a friend over, but here you are in control. You can't control who your roommate will bring over..and Koreans do everything in groups. Groups!
If you value your friendship with your friend I'd suggest living apart. Everyone needs their boundaries and their 'space'. And that applies triply to foreigners working in Korea.
We control very little in this country. Your home is the only place where you are totally in control. Don't give that up. |
Excellent advice!!!
I lived with a wacky Korean in a room which was in her home/apartment.
After being with attention hungry kids all day the last thing I needed was to come home to someone who is attention hungry.
The hundreds of little things do add up.
She would make a special (what she thought was special at least) breakfast (without telling me first) and get offended if I did not sit down to eat it with her. This was as I was preparing for my 60-70 minute commute to work.
Living with a Korean (especially while living in Korea) is a sure way to go insane like you never have before.
DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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PatrickGHBusan
Joined: 24 Jun 2008 Location: Busan (1997-2008) Canada 2008 -
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Posted: Wed Apr 10, 2013 4:39 am Post subject: |
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| Scorpion wrote: |
OP, ignore PatrickBusan. He hasn't lived in Korea in six years. His advice is worthless. Take your advice from people who actually live here. Noone is saying "lock Korea out of your life". What people are saying is that there will be many times when you want to lock it out of your home. There will be days when you will despise aspects of Korea (the hundreds of annoying things add up). There will be times when you will experience culture shock. There will be many days when you get home from work and you desire nothing more than to lock your door, put on headphones and put in a movie....and lock Korea out. Blocking Korea out of certain aspects of your daily life (especially your home) is one of the survival tricks to living and working in Korea. The sooner one learns this the better. Sure you can invite a friend over, but here you are in control. You can't control who your roommate will bring over..and Koreans do everything in groups. Groups!
If you value your friendship with your friend I'd suggest living apart. Everyone needs their boundaries and their 'space'. And that applies triply to foreigners working in Korea.
We control very little in this country. Your home is the only place where you are totally in control. Don't give that up. |
ah man you really do need to learn to read
I told the OP to get her own place, TWICE. Thanks for playing however.
Good lord....
Oh and if the OP prefers roomates, has many Korean friends, who are you to tell her that living with roomates is not going to work or will lead to a "korean invasion" of her home? Do not confuse your life as some sort of universal truth in Korea. You prefer to "shut Korea out" when you are home that is certainly your right and preference, do NOT confuse that as some sort of universal wayguk need please.
Oh and for the 3rd time: if it were me, I would take my own housing without roomates as that affords more privacy. |
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Los Angeloser
Joined: 26 Aug 2010 Location: Korea
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Posted: Wed Apr 10, 2013 5:07 am Post subject: |
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| Keep your personal life separate from your professional life. Don't be specific about where exactly you work, I'd even lie about the name of the place or tell her you don't know the exact name/address or forgot. And don't tell your employer about your "friend's" name or where she lives etc...If things go wrong at work(illegally fired, stalking, followed by the boot from "home") your "friend" could help you out by letting you stay there. But if your employer knows where she lives then your "friend" could see your boss at her front door in an attempt to get at you. The same goes with your "friend" if things go bad with her you wouldn't want her to harass you at work or threaten your job. Your "friend" is your emergency plan and never let your employer know the phone number of your "friend," for her sake. |
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War Eagle
Joined: 15 Feb 2009
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Posted: Wed Apr 10, 2013 5:23 am Post subject: |
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Ok, where to start. First of all, only some people choose to "lock Korea out" because they have bad experiences and want to escape (Not downplaying the needs of those who choose to do so. Just saying not everyone needs to.). Unfortunately, those are many of the people who frequest Dave's to vent.
I, personally, wouldn't think of this in terms of a Korean roommate vs. an American roommate.
Most of it depends on your lifestyle and the lifestyle of your roommate. Do you get up at the same time? Do you go to bed at the same time? Do you both party? Do you like the same music? Do you mind if the other brings a hook-up home (just saying)? Do you both keep care of the house equally (i.e. one is a slob and the other a neat-freak)?
Financially wise, of course, it's better to be roommates. Also, you'll have a nicer play to say, most likely (School housing can be shitty.) On the other hand, do you want to jeopardize your friendship if you get into frequest arguments? Can you guarentee that won't happen? Is your relationship strong enough to survive it if it does? |
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Dodge7
Joined: 21 Oct 2011
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Posted: Wed Apr 10, 2013 5:37 am Post subject: |
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| Scorpion wrote: |
OP, ignore PatrickBusan. He hasn't lived in Korea in six years. His advice is worthless. Take your advice from people who actually live here. Noone is saying "lock Korea out of your life". What people are saying is that there will be many times when you want to lock it out of your home. There will be days when you will despise aspects of Korea (the hundreds of annoying things add up). There will be times when you will experience culture shock. There will be many days when you get home from work and you desire nothing more than to lock your door, put on headphones and put in a movie....and lock Korea out. Blocking Korea out of certain aspects of your daily life (especially your home) is one of the survival tricks to living and working in Korea. The sooner one learns this the better. Sure you can invite a friend over, but here you are in control. You can't control who your roommate will bring over..and Koreans do everything in groups. Groups!
If you value your friendship with your friend I'd suggest living apart. Everyone needs their boundaries and their 'space'. And that applies triply to foreigners working in Korea.
We control very little in this country. Your home is the only place where you are totally in control. Don't give that up. |
This is great advice (just don't listen to anything this guy has to say about religion and you'll be alright). |
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PatrickGHBusan
Joined: 24 Jun 2008 Location: Busan (1997-2008) Canada 2008 -
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Posted: Wed Apr 10, 2013 5:41 am Post subject: |
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| Dodge7 wrote: |
| Scorpion wrote: |
OP, ignore PatrickBusan. He hasn't lived in Korea in six years. His advice is worthless. Take your advice from people who actually live here. Noone is saying "lock Korea out of your life". What people are saying is that there will be many times when you want to lock it out of your home. There will be days when you will despise aspects of Korea (the hundreds of annoying things add up). There will be times when you will experience culture shock. There will be many days when you get home from work and you desire nothing more than to lock your door, put on headphones and put in a movie....and lock Korea out. Blocking Korea out of certain aspects of your daily life (especially your home) is one of the survival tricks to living and working in Korea. The sooner one learns this the better. Sure you can invite a friend over, but here you are in control. You can't control who your roommate will bring over..and Koreans do everything in groups. Groups!
If you value your friendship with your friend I'd suggest living apart. Everyone needs their boundaries and their 'space'. And that applies triply to foreigners working in Korea.
We control very little in this country. Your home is the only place where you are totally in control. Don't give that up. |
This is great advice (just don't listen to anything this guy has to say about religion and you'll be alright). |
Religion? When did I ever comment on religion? When did Scorpion comment on religion? What on Earth does religion have to do with this situation?
Did God choose your housing for you?  |
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Dodge7
Joined: 21 Oct 2011
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Posted: Wed Apr 10, 2013 5:59 am Post subject: |
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| PatrickGHBusan wrote: |
| Dodge7 wrote: |
| Scorpion wrote: |
OP, ignore PatrickBusan. He hasn't lived in Korea in six years. His advice is worthless. Take your advice from people who actually live here. Noone is saying "lock Korea out of your life". What people are saying is that there will be many times when you want to lock it out of your home. There will be days when you will despise aspects of Korea (the hundreds of annoying things add up). There will be times when you will experience culture shock. There will be many days when you get home from work and you desire nothing more than to lock your door, put on headphones and put in a movie....and lock Korea out. Blocking Korea out of certain aspects of your daily life (especially your home) is one of the survival tricks to living and working in Korea. The sooner one learns this the better. Sure you can invite a friend over, but here you are in control. You can't control who your roommate will bring over..and Koreans do everything in groups. Groups!
If you value your friendship with your friend I'd suggest living apart. Everyone needs their boundaries and their 'space'. And that applies triply to foreigners working in Korea.
We control very little in this country. Your home is the only place where you are totally in control. Don't give that up. |
This is great advice (just don't listen to anything this guy has to say about religion and you'll be alright). |
Religion? When did I ever comment on religion? When did Scorpion comment on religion? What on Earth does religion have to do with this situation?
Did God choose your housing for you?  |
That was in reference to Scorpion. You must have missed the epic discussion -- well, it was more or less him bashing God and me for believing in Him -- we had about a month ago. It went on for pages before the mods deleted it. |
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PatrickGHBusan
Joined: 24 Jun 2008 Location: Busan (1997-2008) Canada 2008 -
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Posted: Wed Apr 10, 2013 7:48 am Post subject: |
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I did miss the epic confrontation...
Religion (or lack of it) is a personal thing. No one should impose his or her views on anyone. |
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some waygug-in
Joined: 25 Jan 2003
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Posted: Wed Apr 10, 2013 10:37 am Post subject: |
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The first year in Korea, I had to share an apartment with another foreign teacher. It worked out OK.
But with the never-ending supply of nutcases that seem to wash up on Korean shores, I would never do it again.
Korean, weiguk-in, whoever, you need your own space sometimes.
The reason my roomie and I got on well was that we both stayed out of
each other's business and both recognized that we needed our personal
alone time. (especially after a hard day)
I don't know if a Korean person (friend or not) would understand this concept. I had a few Korean friends who could be downright annoying
and I was sure glad not to be sharing a living space with them. |
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Scorpion
Joined: 15 Apr 2012
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Posted: Wed Apr 10, 2013 10:52 pm Post subject: |
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Op, if you opt to move in with your Korean friend please be sure to give up an update after a few months....if you haven't done a runner.
One more thing. You mentioned that you are a female. Your user name is 'tellhernow'. Is there something you omitted in your post, maybe concerning the nature of your relationship with your 'dear' friend? Is it romantic in nature, because this place ain't NYC. Officially there are no gays here. You'll be the first. Am I reading too much into your user name + your reference to a "dear friend"? Probably am...Too much time on my hands.
But if I'm not, that's a pertinent piece of information.
edit: just read where you stated that your friend is in a long-term relation with a bloke. Me bad. |
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northway
Joined: 05 Jul 2010
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Posted: Fri Apr 12, 2013 2:41 am Post subject: |
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| As someone who essentially disintegrates when living along, and has been squatting at a Korean's house in the States for the better part of a year (with family occasionally popping in), and having spent significant time living with Korean friends' families without the friends even there, I don't really see the issue in staying with said friend. |
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