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augustine
Joined: 08 Sep 2012
Location: México
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 Posted: Mon Apr 15, 2013 7:43 pm Post subject: |
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| le-paul wrote: |
| augustine wrote: |
Were you weeping while you wrote that?
Wow... what's with this boyfriend of yours?
This country will break you though, son. Especially a weak woman.
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thats what you said. If thats how you give advice, id stick to playing computer games, writing your blog, watching k-porn or what ever it is you do in your free time.
after reading her op, what gave you the impression she wanted to hear someone say 'haha, it serves you right for coming here, stupid weak woman!'?
watergirl is spot on, if you dont realise thats inappropriate, you obviously have no social skills.
and this message is for the rest of you cowards attacking her. You're pathetic and a drain on society if you cant even refrain from kicking a man when he's down for your own personal gratification.
just because you hate yourself for how you feel when you're lonely and depressed, doesn't mean you have to hate other people for it, too. |
Oh, please... grow up and be a big boy/girl, like the OP should. I don't play video games, have a blog, and I prefer J-porn, just to clear that up.
She sounded like she was crying while she wrote that, so what?
And what is with the unsupportive boyfriend of hers? How is that not a legitimate question to ask?
And, yes! This country can break you, and especially if you're a weak woman. It can be horrible if you're going 9-7 in Paju or some hellhole dong I've never heard of.
I didn't say "haha, it serves you right for coming here you stupid weak woman," you fool. I just stated my opinion. Read the OP, she sounds like a weak woman who is being eaten alive here and should probably leave. Is it our duty to comfort her and shield her from the realities of her decisions? I don't know what you're on about, le-paul. I thought I liked some of your posts before if I remember right, but you sound like fool here buddy. |
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watergirl
Joined: 01 Jul 2008
Location: Ansan, south korea
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| Posted: Tue Apr 16, 2013 8:06 am Post subject: |
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Try to insert some originality?!
You mean like the originality in your posting. ...
"Hopefully this experience will toughen you up, seems that you need some of that. Were you weeping while you wrote that? Wow... what's with this boyfriend of yours? Sounds like he isn't very supported and probably comin' down with the fever. ....
This country will break you though, son. Especially a weak woman"
her boyfriend isn't supportive because he's getting 'yellow fever' and that she's a 'weak woman' . Do u think that's original? Cause, frankly, I think it's just weird. sorry, unless you're a 65 year old man I guess. |
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augustine
Joined: 08 Sep 2012
Location: México
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| Posted: Tue Apr 16, 2013 8:50 am Post subject: |
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| watergirl wrote: |
| Try to insert some originality?! |
Yes. "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" is a cheap, overused, unoriginal phrase used by dumb people.
| Quote: |
You mean like the originality in your posting. ...
"Hopefully this experience will toughen you up, seems that you need some of that. Were you weeping while you wrote that? Wow... what's with this boyfriend of yours? Sounds like he isn't very supported and probably comin' down with the fever. ....
This country will break you though, son. Especially a weak woman" |
That's called an opinion, honey. If it's unoriginal, feel free to tell me why. I don't understand what the big deal is. I felt as though she may have been crying when she wrote her OP, her boyfriend seems unsupportive, it's normal for men to fall for local Korean women, and working at a crap hagwon can break you down, especially if you're a weak woman... How are those provocative statements? Because I used the words "weak" and "woman" in the same sentence? Ahhh!
| Quote: |
| her boyfriend isn't supportive because he's getting 'yellow fever' and that she's a 'weak woman' . Do u think that's original? Cause, frankly, I think it's just weird. |
Why would she travel half way around the world with a supportive mate and continue to remain in such misery? It doesn't have to be "original," it's a reality and it's not weird at all for a young man to arrive in a country like Korea and be interested in the young, fit, welcoming ladies in short skirts which abound here. That may or may not be case, I don't know, but I didn't make a definitive statement about it in the first place. If it's fair for you to assume that I'm a weird, 65 year old man with no social skills, does it make it equal for me to assume that you're a bitter, repulsive white girl? I'd put my money down on that being the case. |
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Blanca
Joined: 19 Apr 2012
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| Posted: Wed Apr 17, 2013 4:54 am Post subject: |
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You know what, Augustine...
[img]http://i.qkme.me/36fat4.jpg[/img]
OP, I'm not going offer any advice that hasn't already been offered. Suffice to say that finding it tough after 3 weeks is completely normal and you shouldn't worry about a thing. Have a look over my posts from about a year ago and you'll see I went through a similar thing - hating Korea, hating teaching, wanting to go home more than I ever thought possible. Hell, it took me 10 weeks before I even found any friends. I've just started my second year and it gets better, I promise.
I too have depression issues, and found 5-HTP to be an enormous help.
Teaching-wise, it'll come. It'll take time before you work out what you're supposed to be doing, but it will come, and when it does you'll relax and you'll get better at teaching the little kiddies. You can't expect to be a master kindergarten teacher from day one. In the meantime, smile and nod at your boss and then do nothing he/she asks of you.
Don't worry about a thing, you'll be fine. If you make it to 3 months and you still can't stand being here, there will be no shame in going home. I nearly did it. Nearly.[img][/img] |
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rockbilly
Joined: 19 Mar 2013
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| Posted: Wed Apr 17, 2013 6:41 am Post subject: You Can Do It, OP! |
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Hang in there, hang in there, OP!
I was in exactly your shoes 12 years ago. Long time, yes. It was 12 years ago this month that I first came to Korea, was stuck right into kindie classes, and found myself going through everything you are.
Twelve years later, it's been a ride I couldn't have imagined then. I went from kindie to business English here in Seoul. After business English came corporate work. I traveled, enjoyed life. I taught junior and senior high here in Korea, then moved on to teach in colleges and uni's across China. Tried Vietnam. Now back in Korea on an E-7 visa making more money than ever before, loving life.
Anxiety and depression prove you're human. I think less of anyone who doesn't suffer in this way.
Job one, for now: survive.
Job two: hope. Believe. You may be fantastically more successful than you dare dream.
Seriously stop and put things in perspective. You're already a hero for having come to Korea. You're a hero for daring to teach kids. You're a hero for coping with anxiety and depression, and you're a kick-xss SUPERHERO, in my book, for daring the jerks here on Dave's who tell you to go home or otherwise insult you.
Take a page out of my book, please. Things worked out for me; they will for you. The brick walls will crumble. There are other jobs here in Korea, no matter what your boss may threaten, no matter whatever. There are jobs in neighboring countries. There are ways of dealing with the kids for as long as you have to.
Grab hold of someone, anyone, who knows enough Korean to help out. Right there in Paju there may be fantastic opportunities you just don't know about. Something as seemingly laughable as a Saturday afternoon at the local sauna may radically transform your state of mind--don't knock it till you've tried it--but do you know where to find it? Come out to Seoul when you can and try a burrito at the new Taco Bell in Gangnam. Psychotherapy is everything. New jobs are everywhere. It's all going to work out, and it will work out, for you as it did for me.
PM me if you need moral support /advice, or anything. I'm an Old Korean Hand, ha! But still vividly remember being exactly in your shoes not so very long ago, really.
Good luck, take care, God bless! |
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watergirl
Joined: 01 Jul 2008
Location: Ansan, south korea
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| Posted: Wed Apr 17, 2013 7:28 am Post subject: |
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| BLaaaah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah |
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PRagic
Joined: 24 Feb 2006
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| Posted: Sat Apr 20, 2013 6:27 pm Post subject: |
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It really irritates the heck out of me when I hear about situations like this. Employers will hire anyone with a 4 year degree, a clean background check, and a pulse, but then expect them to perform like seasoned, professional teachers. If they want seasoned, professional teachers, they should PAY for seasoned, professionals! But, no, they want to pay as little as possible for people with degrees in unrelated diciplines, and then demand they step in and perform from the get go. Idiotic.
Having said this, this is none-the-less a job, and jobs aren't always easy or enjoyable. The OP made a committement. How many countless souls have been discouraged by their initial experiences in the classroom, no matter the students' ages or competence levels? So if you feel down and a bit depressed, take solice in the fact that many have been there, too.
You'll get through it. Take things little by little, day by day, week by week. Don't think about 'making it through' to the end of the contract. That paints your situation much as a prison term, and it doesn't have to be that way. Enjoy the weekends. Enjoy the holidays. Enjoy your time with your boy friend.
It might help if you talk to your boss and let him/her know that you're trying, but that you might need a little time to adjust to teaching the younger kids. Ask for help and admit that you're in an uphill fight. You might be surprised as they might be more open minded to your plight that you'd expect. Then again, they could be total pricks! Never know, but it doesn't hurt to try and make things work a bit smoother. |
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cam83
Joined: 27 Jan 2013
Location: Seoul, South Korea
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| Posted: Sun Apr 21, 2013 10:52 pm Post subject: |
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| augustine wrote: |
| watergirl wrote: |
| Try to insert some originality?! |
Yes. "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" is a cheap, overused, unoriginal phrase used by dumb people.
| Quote: |
You mean like the originality in your posting. ...
"Hopefully this experience will toughen you up, seems that you need some of that. Were you weeping while you wrote that? Wow... what's with this boyfriend of yours? Sounds like he isn't very supported and probably comin' down with the fever. ....
This country will break you though, son. Especially a weak woman" |
That's called an opinion, honey. If it's unoriginal, feel free to tell me why. I don't understand what the big deal is. I felt as though she may have been crying when she wrote her OP, her boyfriend seems unsupportive, it's normal for men to fall for local Korean women, and working at a crap hagwon can break you down, especially if you're a weak woman... How are those provocative statements? Because I used the words "weak" and "woman" in the same sentence? Ahhh!
| Quote: |
| her boyfriend isn't supportive because he's getting 'yellow fever' and that she's a 'weak woman' . Do u think that's original? Cause, frankly, I think it's just weird. |
Why would she travel half way around the world with a supportive mate and continue to remain in such misery? It doesn't have to be "original," it's a reality and it's not weird at all for a young man to arrive in a country like Korea and be interested in the young, fit, welcoming ladies in short skirts which abound here. That may or may not be case, I don't know, but I didn't make a definitive statement about it in the first place. If it's fair for you to assume that I'm a weird, 65 year old man with no social skills, does it make it equal for me to assume that you're a bitter, repulsive white girl? I'd put my money down on that being the case. |
Augustine, here's the thing... you actually make some pretty valid points, some that I actually thought to myself however you do seem to lack the ability to execute them in a way that is constructive and instead have come across as someone who is giving someone a 'reality check' for your own interests, not the OP's.
We all make mistakes in life, some bigger than others but when someone who is clearly looking for support or advice, I think you should take a look at how you give it and what you hope to achieve by doing so. Surely even you don't think that was the nicest or most constructive way to reply to the OP, do you? Obviously I don't know anything about you, so it could just be that it is the way you're used to interacting in such cases and simply lack the knowledge to allow for a more pleasant assessment through writing.
I don't have any further advice to give that hasn't already been mentioned but maybe you can re-assess how you approach a particular situation especially when it concerns someone who is medically/emotionally unstable.
The few negative comments can outweigh the many positives because they will support the OP's feelings/thoughts/ideas... and is the kind of thing that can lead a person to a bad place... maybe even suicide.
Anyway, maybe you'll read this and shrug your shoulders and laugh at the seriousness of it all... but my hope is that you're really smart and actually asses how you deal with people you don't know, in a public forum. |
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