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cdninkorea
Joined: 27 Jan 2006
Location: Seoul
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 Posted: Thu May 16, 2013 6:07 am Post subject: |
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| Scorpion wrote: |
Man, this old threat made my morning. We should all write a poem and submit it to the Korea Times and ask them to select and publish the winner....Unfortunately, they'd probably publish one written by a gyopo posing as a Westerner.
"Oh, the miracle on the Han, product of the highest man
The foreigner looked with awe, at everything they saw..."  |
You don't consider gyopos to be westerners? |
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sluggo832004
Joined: 04 Sep 2010
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| Posted: Thu May 16, 2013 6:08 am Post subject: |
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| I just tell them "sorry its not American culture to talk to strangers." |
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createasaurus21
Joined: 22 Feb 2009
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Thu May 16, 2013 6:58 am Post subject: |
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| Awesome, you should read it at an open mic. |
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dairyairy
Joined: 17 May 2012
Location: South Korea
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| Posted: Thu May 16, 2013 11:07 am Post subject: |
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| cdninkorea wrote: |
| Scorpion wrote: |
Man, this old threat made my morning. We should all write a poem and submit it to the Korea Times and ask them to select and publish the winner....Unfortunately, they'd probably publish one written by a gyopo posing as a Westerner.
"Oh, the miracle on the Han, product of the highest man
The foreigner looked with awe, at everything they saw..." |
You don't consider gyopos to be westerners? |
Yeah, and besides, there are plenty of brainwashed people of all nationalities and races, too. You can't tell a snake by its color.
"I do believe in my hagwon master, I do believe in my hagwon master."
"How do I love my hagwon? Let me count the ways. I love the way I get to work each and every day. I love the way I am told that I am an evil foreigner so I have no say. I love the way my owner smiles as he tell me lies. I love the way I will make him money until the day I dies. I love the way he doesn't pay and makes up many excuses. I love the way the apartment is condemed, and other contract abuses. I love the way that for every problem I am the one he blames. I love the way that he insists that I teach nothing but games. I love the way that Korea has set up such a system of woe. I love the way I lie to other waygookin and pretend my job doesn't blow." What rhymes with runner? 
Last edited by dairyairy on Thu May 16, 2013 11:27 am; edited 1 time in total |
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Died By Bear
Joined: 13 Jul 2010
Location: On the big lake they call Gitche Gumee
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| Posted: Thu May 16, 2013 11:17 am Post subject: Re: Those "Interview a Foreigner" Homework Assignm |
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| Bingo wrote: |
Okay, I've been really disillusioned by Korea recently, plus I've had too much free time on my hands. So, I've written another lousy poem. So here I go. Hopefully others will have a poem to add. We can make a collection then read them live on Arirang tv. 
The School Assignment
Got out of the taxi, what�s this that I see?
Three high school students walking towards me.
Questioned by these kids for their high school project.
Why did you come to Korea? Are you some kind of reject?
Do you love Korea? Do you think it�s the very best?
What do people especially love about Korea in the West?
Do you like Korean culture? Do you really love our food?
Do you think Koreans are very kind; everyone else very rude?
Do you like kimchi? Where�s your apartment at?
How old are you? And why are you so fat?
Why aren�t you married? And why do you have no kids?
(What do you think of our brand new noses, and our pricey new eyelids?)
Have you heard of Yi So-yeon? She�s world best number one.
Soon Korea will send up more astronauts, perhaps even to the sun.
My stress level was rising, felt like I was being wronged.
Didn�t know how to politely answer, or how I should respond.
*beep* off kids, I finally said, with all your stupid questions.
No, wait�tell your teacher that I have a few suggestions.
Does he really want to know what�s on this foreigner�s mind?
Fine, then. No, I don�t think Koreans are particularly kind.
Tell him, enough of this bullshit about blood type.
And all this annoying �Dokdo is Korea� hype.
He probably tells you that the West has crime, drugs and queers.
And that Korea has, by contrast, 5000 glorious years.
But in all that time, what did you achieve?
Sweet *beep* all, despite what your teacher might believe.
You say Korea has four distinct seasons.
But all four suck for countless different reasons.
Noise, heat, pollution, foul odors and smog.
And just look at that poor abused and neglected dog.
Would it really kill the owner to walk it once a day?
Or is tying it up for its entire life the Daehan-mingook way?
People light their cigarettes under �No Smoking� signs.
And they think soju is among the finer wines.
Cars go down one way streets in the wrong direction,
Old men eat tortured dog to get an erection.
My neighbours slam their doors when they go in or out.
Tell me kids, really, what the *beep* is that about?
Noone says thank you, excuse me or I'm sorry.
Can�t use the crosswalk because it�s blocked by a lorry.
I�d like to shoot those guys in the vegetable trucks.
You also need some real music, because K-pop fucking sucks.
Have you really never heard of blues, jazz or soul?
And how on earth can you not have heard of rock n� roll?
So many dishonest employers, and countless lying recruiters.
(Is it true that they�ve finally opened a half-decent Hooters?)
People sneezing on packed buses, and on the sub-ways.
Yet if you get ill from this, you can forget about sick days.
Taxi drivers won�t stop for other Asians, for blacks or whites.
You see kids, in Korea foreigners have no fucking rights.
Korean men feel important because of first birth.
My boss is one of them, but y�know, he�s the scum of the earth.
Your teacher says you liberated yourselves, now you�re the �Hub of Asia.�
Tell your teacher for me that he�s got acute amnesia.
The truth is you�d be a third world country without the United States.
And yet that�s the very country you�re being taught to hate.
Your teachers have no concept of honesty or gratitude.
Giving the finger (instead of �thank you�) is just plain fucking rude.
You protest every Saturday, chanting �Yankee go Home.�
Yet when foreigners complain about Korea, you reply �When in Rome�.�
�Loving Korean parents� don�t place their infants in safety seats.
And I�m so tired of seeing people horking on the streets.
Car horns, and the friggin roosters on my neighbor�s roof.
Wake me up every morning. My bloodshot eyes the proof.
Excessive whistle blowing by those ass-clown traffic guys.
Anti-foreigner �news� shows with their distortions and lies.
People who talk loudly at wedding halls.
(Screw the bride�s special day. I need to make phone calls.)
People who block my exit when the subway stops.
Stupid, blind and incompetent teenage traffic cops.
Mindless students chanting �Dokdo is ours�.
Peasant nonsense about kimchi as a source of unique Korean powers
I hate to be so negative, I know it sounds unkind.
But living here too long, kids, fucks with a person's mind.
Don�t be discouraged, and please don�t misunderstand.
I genuinely believe that there are some good things about this land.
Just tell your teacher that Korea should stop beating its chest.
And to give the ultra-nationalism thing a fucking rest.
You need to tone things down, that�s my honest belief.
Now *beep* off kids, I�m off to Outback to eat some US beef.
Finito |
Must say that was quite good old chap. Quite. |
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stevieg4ever
Joined: 11 Feb 2006
Location: London, England
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| Posted: Fri May 17, 2013 5:07 am Post subject: |
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| flakfizer wrote: |
| hauwande wrote: |
| Ya-ta Boy wrote: |
| Well, wangtta is as wangtta does. |
ok, dumb question: what is wangtta? |
Not a dumb question at all. The way Ya-ta is using it, one could never guess the meaning. A "wangtta" is a social outcast. So, if you don't feel like answering a bunch of questions about yourself to strangers on the street, you must be a social outcast. You see, socially adept people approach people on the streets with lists of questions to accost them with and socially adept people spend their time answering such questions. Social outcasts are too busy spending time with their friends and families. |
Brilliant answer, Flakfizer. |
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