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For those of you married to a Korean Woman
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3DR



Joined: 24 May 2009

PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 7:37 am    Post subject: For those of you married to a Korean Woman Reply with quote

About how often do you meet with or see her family? I've heard some horror stories about the family becoming entirely too involved after getting married.
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Beeyee



Joined: 29 May 2007

PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 7:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Almost never, luckily.
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3DR



Joined: 24 May 2009

PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 7:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Beeyee wrote:
Almost never, luckily.


What about when dating?
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Ginormousaurus



Joined: 27 Jul 2006
Location: 700 Ft. Pulpit

PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 8:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

We're not married yet, but we will be this August.

Thanks to the Pacific Ocean being between us, I never see her family.

I met her family very early on in our relationship and made a good enough impression. Things were fine and dandy between her mom and I until I decided to move back to Canada. At that point her mom kind of cooled on our relationship. It's understandable though that she didn't want her daughter to move so far away, but it has slowly driven a wedge between us (her mother and I, that is). My fiance repeatedly tells me that things will get better after we're married and her mother is forced to accept things the way they are.


Last edited by Ginormousaurus on Wed Jun 12, 2013 3:56 pm; edited 1 time in total
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giraffe



Joined: 07 Apr 2009

PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 8:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

My mother in law is constantly calling my wife and always wants to drop by our place to give us food.. She used to drop by every 2 days ... But it drove my wife and I nuts...

Now we see my inlaws pretty much once a week every weekend for supper. Which is ok ... They are really nice people just that her mom can be a overbearing , obsessed and goes overboard with food all the time.

If I could have my way I would cut Down to seeing them once every month but I don't see that happening anytime soon unless we moved to a different city....

As far as being involved in our life. They don't interfere with our decisions . They have absolutely no say in what we decided and both of us like to keep it that way.. The only time they get involve in anything is if we let them be .. Soo that's no issue on my end ! But still I'd probably like to only see them once a month.

But I know what you mean about horror stories. I can imagine !
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Scott in Incheon



Joined: 30 Aug 2004

PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 8:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

My in-laws live above us.

They help out whenever we need baby sitting...and never get involved in our personal decisions.

Best of both worlds....
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J Rock



Joined: 17 Jan 2009
Location: The center of the Earth, Suji

PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 8:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'd say about once a month we get together. We all seem to get along now which is a lot different from the first time we met. Her mother looked like she was going to throw me off the balcony.

You have to keep in mind the first time I met them, we announced that she was pregnant. So I gess there reaction was justified.

It's since been fine, they no longer want me dead. I think.......
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wooden nickels



Joined: 23 May 2010

PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 10:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Once per week visit. Stay about 30 minutes and head back home. Everybody is happy.
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War Eagle



Joined: 15 Feb 2009

PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 1:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

My wife talks to her mom almost daily and she visits about twice a month. I join her about once a month or so for dinner and drinks. They don't get involved in our day to day lives, but are always happy to help out in any way they can.
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Fox



Joined: 04 Mar 2009

PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 2:30 pm    Post subject: Re: For those of you married to a Korean Woman Reply with quote

3DR wrote:
About how often do you meet with or see her family? I've heard some horror stories about the family becoming entirely too involved after getting married.


Her siblings, rarely; we generally dont' even go down to see them on New Years or Chuseok these days. Her mother in law came and lived with us for a little over a year, but we've since sent her away.
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cj1976



Joined: 26 Oct 2005

PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 3:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

My in-laws are divorced so it means I see the MIL less than FIL. The former I see maybe once or twice a year, the latter maybe 4-5 times. I see my sis-in-law more often, which is okay because apart from my wife, she is the only member of the family who can speak English.
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Died By Bear



Joined: 13 Jul 2010
Location: On the big lake they call Gitche Gumee

PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 3:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Once a year when she comes to visit from Korea.

The old man is dead.
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Old fat expat



Joined: 19 Sep 2005
Location: a caravan of dust, making for a windy prairie

PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 3:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I returned to Korea to meet my wife's family after we decided to get married.

The second day I was here 'someone' broke into my fiances apartment and stole all my money, laptop, and gifts I had bought to give to my wife's family. My return plane ticket and passport were not taken. Nothing of my fiances was taken. Just my stuff.

My fiances' dad refused to met me. So did her brother. I was stood-up by uncles with whom we were meant to have dinner with. I could go on about the slights, but what would be the point. They made it very clear I was unwanted.

I am happy enough for my wife (of 10 years now) to visit her family and I encourage her to do so. I have as little to do with them as I can.
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Ginormousaurus



Joined: 27 Jul 2006
Location: 700 Ft. Pulpit

PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 3:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Old fat expat wrote:
I returned to Korea to meet my wife's family after we decided to get married.

The second day I was here 'someone' broke into my fiances apartment and stole all my money, laptop, and gifts I had bought to give to my wife's family. My return plane ticket and passport were not taken. Nothing of my fiances was taken. Just my stuff.

My fiances' dad refused to met me. So did her brother. I was stood-up by uncles with whom we were meant to have dinner with. I could go on about the slights, but what would be the point. They made it very clear I was unwanted.

I am happy enough for my wife (of 10 years now) to visit her family and I encourage her to do so. I have as little to do with them as I can.


That's rough. I will never complain about my in-laws again!
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Jimskins



Joined: 07 Nov 2007

PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 4:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

When i read the above posts I realize how lucky I am. My parents-in-law are nothing but nice and really caring towards me. These days it's my wife who gets criticized for not getting a "proper" job (she's an actress) or not feeding me properly (I do a lot of exercise and it seems if a man is skinny in Korea that translates as ill), so my mother-in-law always puts on the best spread whenever we go over.

My wife said that my MIL watches a lot of 인강극장 , the daily documentary show where mixed couples appear now and again. On that programme the in-laws tend to fall either in the "want-nothing-to-do- with-him" box or the "constantly coming over unannounced and meddling/criticizing" box. My MIL was determined to be a "cool" MIL so despite living 5 minutes walk away she rarely came over (and would phone first to see if it was ok) and would invite us over once a week for Sunday dinner. I was always welcome to drop by, especially when my "neglectful" wife was out rehearsing and my MIL knew I was eating on my own.

They actually moved to Bundang a couple of months ago (we live in Jamsil so a good hour away) and we've only been to see them a couple of times and I miss them, especially my sister-in-law who I've become very close to over the last few years. My brother-in-law's a nice guy too although we only talk about football all the time when we meet.

I had lunch with a teacher at my uni this week and he also said he has had constant run-ins with the in-laws and that they tended to avoid each other these days. I find it really sad that I seem to be in the minority but I guess that this is the reality and phasing out prejudice against mixed-marriages is going to take at least another generation or two.
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