Korean Job Discussion Forums

optik404 · Joined: 24 Jun 2008

Is it normal for married people to meet their in-laws only once a month? Regardless of race and nationality?

cabeza · Joined: 29 Sep 2012

^^
I don't see anything wrong with it. Especially when you consider how many people live in different cities/countries nowadays.
My fiances mother lives 5 hours away, so it's just not feasible to be visiting any more than every now and then.
Thank God.

Captain Corea · Joined: 28 Feb 2005 Location: Seoul

optik404 · Joined: 24 Jun 2008

fezmond · Joined: 27 Oct 2008

My wife's parents are divorced and want nothing to do with each other at all, won't even be in the same room together.

They live about 4/5 hours south of Seoul so we only really see them at Chuseok/Seollal which is fine by me. They've been extremely pleasant and treat me as one of their own but my MIL always nags my wife for not feeding me properly. I always get overfed and I'm not a big fan of the dishes they eat.

My biggest problem is that it's just so boring down there for the weekend. They just sit and watch shitty dramas and the same five guys on the entertainment shows (No Hong-chol etc).

See the sister-in-law much more often as she's always up here to have touch-ups on her plastic surgery.

Who's Your Daddy? · Joined: 30 May 2010 Location: Victoria, Canada.

^^yes. boring. I always bring my MP3 player with small in-ear headphones. I keep that in my pocket. Then I "take a nap" in a bedroom and listen to it.
==
My in-laws hardly talk to each other, they mainly eat and watch TV. I wonder what would happen if the power went out; no TV, what would happen?

I ask my wife questions about her brothers and sisters lives, and she's like "I don't know." They're like strangers watching TV together.

giraffe · Joined: 07 Apr 2009

as I mentioned before. I like my inlaws But their way of life makes it hard to deal with them sometimes. I cant complain about them because they treat me like their own son. They help us when we need them and they've always accepted me.

HOWEVER I think my inlaws dont know how to enjoy their life . I really wish they would go out and do something they like... go to shows, enjoy restaurants , go on family trips out of town... Instead we always just go to my inlaws house , eat the same food and fruit and sit in front of the TV and talk about the same things. Doing this once a week, feels like a chore and its just no fun. REally wish we could limit these visits to once a month if all we do is the same thing every week BUt thats hard to justify / explain to the inlaws when we live 15 minutes away....

My parents on the other hand . I wish i could see them everyweek! They love trying new things and travelling. THey know how to have fun and enjoy things. Always something new to do with my parents.

Perhaps its a culture thing BUT even my wife has a hard time dealing with her own parents. She loves seeing them but its getting monotonous and repetitive. She wishes her parents would enjoy their life more. they really dont understand the concept of enjoying their life. TO them its all about sacrificing. Sad part is no one seems to appreciate it ( both my wife and brother in law ) are pretty sick of it having to deal with it their whole life.

Anyways I shouldn't complain. At least, they dont meddle with my marriage and they accepted me into their family. I just wish spending time with them wasn't soo boring... =) IF we traveled together or tried new things I'd be pretty happy to see them every week. But that wont be changing! After knwoing them for 8 years its the same thing over and over again...

optik404 · Joined: 24 Jun 2008

Why do you think it's cultural? That's like me saying, I like to get drunk every weekend, but my Korean friend likes to stay home and relax. It must be cultural!

transmogrifier · Joined: 02 Jan 2012 Location: Seoul, South Korea

I seldom see my mother-in-law, almost never see the father-in-law, but her siblings visit occasionally, but I'm cool with that because they are good people.

I seldom visited my own family when I was back home, so I'm not especially eager to spend time with others.

giraffe · Joined: 07 Apr 2009

fezmond · Joined: 27 Oct 2008

PatrickGHBusan · Posted: Thu Jun 13, 2013 9:22 am Post subject:

When we lived in Korea, we saw my wifes parents a couple of times a week for sure. The kids loved it and honestly her folks are great.

This is one of the biggest drawback of living in Canada now. We cannot see them as often and the kids miss them as heck. They now have regular access to their grandmother here in Canada however.

When we had our first child, my wife's parents were unbeleivably supportive. When I had my accident in Canada and spent time in the hospital they flew over to visit and support us.

We are lucky in that respect. I think we may be an exception of sorts because I get along great with her parents and she gets along great with my mother. Most of our friends do not particularly like their in-laws.

Giraffe, that is interesting because my in laws do not go to shows, movies and such. They started travelling when my FIL retired. I think it is pointless for you (or me) to try and change them as frankly, my in-laws love their life the way it is! I would not live the same way but heck, if they like it who am I to say my way would be better for them?

Nolos · Joined: 23 Oct 2011

I have a great situation. My wife's father died (that's not the great part btw) so we only see her mom. She might want us to come visit with the baby and we stay for about 10-20 minutes then she tells us to go home. Or she'll come over and stay for about the same time and leaves.

It's great! And on top of it we only see her when my wife wants to bring her some food or holidays. It turns out to be around once every 2-3 months.

salutbonjour · Joined: 22 Jan 2013

Just dating, but I don't expect to see the family before we get to 2 years or so. But they know I exist and are quite okay with me being white, in fact the grandma is pretty thrilled and phones the gf to know if we're still doing good.