Korean Job Discussion Forums

[koreaBOOT]

So, my first ever trip to Korea is coming up in January. I realized not long ago that I would save a ton of money if I slept on my Korean friend's couch for the two weeks I was there rather than paying for lodging. The trouble is, I don't know if I would be committing some sort of cultural faux pas by asking her, or if it's acceptable for a guy to be staying at a girl's place like that.

I don't want to offend her, I don't want to impose on her, and I don't want her neighbors to start rumors about her because of me. If she agrees then I'll be the perfect house guest but I don't know if it's proper to even ask.

In case this is relevant, I am romantically interested in her and she knows it.

[Ginormousaurus]

I don't know if there is any specific cultural reason against it.

That being said, do you think she would want you to stay there? I know I hate it when people ask if they can stay with me. When I was living in Vancouver, on a few occasions people asked if they could sleep on my couch. Vancouver can be an expensive place to visit and staying at my place would result in great savings. It's hard to say no because they are friends, but nevertheless it is an inconvenience that I don't like. During the olympics I had a few people call me up to "hang out" when in reality they were hoping to stay in my studio apartment for a week or so.

Your romantic interest in her will certainly play a big role here (as it would no matter where you are). Has she slept at your place before or you at hers? Does she live alone? Does she have a couch? Will she say 'yes' even though she is really wanting to say no?

IMHO, it is a big imposition to ask of her. But not knowing your situation fully, it's impossible to give you the correct answer.

Good luck and enjoy your trip!

[bucheon bum]

Yeah, it really depends on the person. I've had over 100 people crash on my couch the last three years, and I certainly am happy to have a friend stay with me. That being said, 2 weeks is a LONG time to have someone sleep on my couch. 1 week is the limit for me...

I also wouldn't be so generous if I lived in a studio apartment. That's another factor: how big is her place? As for the neighbors, it depends on the building and those neighbors (just like anywhere else).

[Redcap]

If she lives at home with mom and dad, there's little chance you'll be couch surfin' there.

If she lives independently... maybe.

Perhaps you should ask her for recommendations on local accommodation. This way, you avoid the awkwardness of asking if you can crash at her place. She may suggest a reasonably priced motel, or conversely, suggest her own place.

[beentheredonethat777]

[littlelisa]

I think it's unlikely she'd say yes. I'm part of an international community of dancers where people *typically* host others, but in Seoul it's really hard to find hosting for people (unless they are famous instructors or something). Girls typically do not host guys and vice versa, even for friends they know well, sometimes citing gossip as a reason. People have small apartments, or have families/babies/kids or live with their parents.

Unless you know that for sure she would love to welcome you (like, you are like a brother to her, know her answer without having to ask, or she invites YOU to stay), don't ask, it will only make her uncomfortable, likely.

What you can do is be more roundabout about it. Tell her you're coming to Seoul and would love to see her while you're there. If she asks you where you're staying, you can say, not sure yet, I have to look into hostels, and then if she wants to host you she will offer. If she doesn't even ask where you're staying, definitely don't bother asking.

Caveat: I don't know her or you or how close you are, I'm just going off of guesses from what you've mentioned.

[I'm With You]

[Yaya]

In Italy, a saying goes that a house guest is like a fish: it stinks after three days.

You might consider staying at a guesthouse OR asking your employer for help.

[IPayInCash]

2 weeks?

And you like her?

How beta do you get?

[I'm With You]

[koreaBOOT]

Thank you for your input guys. I don't really know anything about her living arrangements, other than that she has an apartment in Seoul where she lives during the school year.
Also, I won't be staying in Seoul the whole time. I'll be travelling all over the country (hopefully with her in tow) for an aggregate of about a week, so it's really more like just one week on her couch, spread out over a 16 da period no less.
Maybe the best thing to do would be to go the indirect route, ask her for lodging suggestions and see what she says.

[IPayInCash]

It means you have about as good of a chance as getting with her as Korea winning the gold in Olympic basketball. Book a hostel, and give me her number while youre at it since you dont know what youre doing.

[Harpeau]

You might want to check with couchsurfing. They are fairly popular here.
I might suggest that with jet-lag, culture-shock, being in transition, etc. that you take things really slow with her until your more aclimatized. Have a good time!

[koreaBOOT]

[IPayInCash]

Youre not exactly one to talk. Going on the internet to ask about how to stay at some girls house rent free that you like? ROFL. You have NO game and NO chance beta.

Your thread is something Id expect to see in a forum for confused, prepubescent kids trading jelly bellies on Valentines Day. But a grown ass man asking this? Yikes.

You dont ask a girl if you can stay at her place. Period. Thats all the free advice for you beta, anything more and Im charging you. You should listen to my advice, I have a smoking hot girlfriend and asking to stay at her advice wasnt part of my game plan.