Korean Job Discussion Forums

[beentheredonethat777]

to make up for disrupting her" study time" during the Chuseok Dinner today. Thanks for everyone's input. Her dad is overjoyed and very happy.

He actually tried to get me to give her lessons when she was only three years old, but I refused.

Now , how do I delete this post? Where is the delete button?

[Seoulman69]

He can raise his child any way he sees fit. Your opinion is ultimately unimportant. This man opened his house to you on the most special day of the year for Koreans and you've rushed home to condemn his parenting skills. Even worse you've stated a belief that he will drive his own child to suicide.

Would I raise my child in a similar fashion? No. But what I find more shocking is your attitude. You are overreacting and being incredibly ungrateful to a very gracious family.

I'm also confused as to why you added the information about his age. Do you also have a problem with the age gap?

[beentheredonethat777]

[Nolos]

[Janny]

OP, I'm not a mother, but I am a school teacher and have studied child psychology. I agree with your take in general.

Predicting suicide is a bit rash though. Her temperament may be one which can compromise this unhealthy pressure from her dad with her own personal needs for growth. Unfortunately, some esteem damage is almost inevitable, not to mention her understanding of "work". From what you described, it looks like she was fighting the pressure by "running off"....so yes, her future looks bleak (I'm speaking of her personal happiness). She must find an outlet that allows her to be herself some of the time, while appeasing her father, whom love and approval she needs as well, at other times.

I, too, find it sad. In that position, I probably would have carried ill-favour with the father...because I would probably try to ~secretly~ play with her while she was out of dad's eagle sights. A small, secret rescue.

[beentheredonethat777]

]I would probably try to ~secretly~ play with her while she was out of dad's eagle sights. A small, secret rescue

[PatrickGHBusan]

Well I agree that making a kid study on Chuseok is odd and have never withnessed this in my wife's family.

However, I also agree that drwaing conclusions about this child's future, about her well-being or about her father's parenting skills based on ONE EVENT is a bit much.

Rushing home to slam this guy who welcomed you into his home on one of the most important days of the year in Korea, who by your own admission showered you in gifts and food seems a bit low to me.

As for your admission of secretly playing with her to give her "breaks", the intention may have been noble but you threaded on very thin ice by getting involved in this way. She is not your child and you have no idea how her day to day life is, this may have been a one-off event. I would steer clear of a parent-child relationship unless you saw clear and undeniable abuse going on, this was not such a case.

Still, too bad the kid had to study on Chuseok.

[radcon]

It's one thing to express an opinion, but quite another to sabotage the father's educational methods for his daughter by secretly playing with the girl when her father wants her to study. You have jeopardized her future.

[Seoulman69]

Now the OP is editing and changing his/her posts. I smell a troll.

[beentheredonethat777]

[littlelisa]

I think you can't if someone has replied after you. You can only edit. However, you can ask a moderator to delete it for you. In the meantime, just edit the title and text to say "nothing here" or "please delete"

The OP isn't a troll, (s)he's generally been very helpful on this board and clearly has been in Korea for a while.