Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Scorpion]

My friend has a masters in ESL but just can't get a job in Korea. He's sent out his resume to several schools but nada, not a bite. Here's his cover letter. Could I ask the Dave's community to take a quick look at it and give him some advice. I think it's just fine, but others might have a different take on it.

Thanks in advance.


Dear Esteemed Sir,

My name is David Jones. I am a twenty-eight year old American from New York. I read your advertisement and I am interested in applying to your prestigious school. I have a Masters degree in ESL from a major American university, and I am interested in expanding my horizons. Since graduation I have been teaching English to Asian students in New York. I enjoy teaching English, so I have decided to teach in Asia. I wanted to teach in Japan, but I heard that Korea (not Japan) was now the hub of Asia. So I am applying to teach in Korea.

Although I am excited about going to Korea, I have some concerns. I read about Korea on the internet. Some of it is good. I really want to visit Mt. Fuji. It looks beautiful. I am also fascinated by Korea’s four seasons (can this be true?), but I also read some things about Korean employers that worry me. Is it true that employers sometimes do not provide health care and pensions, that contracts are not honored, and that teachers can be fired after eleven months? I hope these stories are not true. But please understand my situation. I don’t want to travel to the Far East and then realize that my boss is not the honesty guy. I’m sorry to asking this, but can you please provide a criminal background check from the owner? I don’t want to work for a person with a criminal record. Also, can I see some photos of the owner? I can usually judge a person’s character by their face. If I like his face, and his skin color is not too dark, then maybe I can apply for a job at this school. I also need a health check from the school owner. Because Korea is a developing country I do not want to get any disease there. I also heard that many Korean men like the prostitute woman, so I need the boss (and all Korean male staffs) to have an AIDS test. I can give you my doctor’s address in New York so you can send the test results to there. After my doctor has examined the results, and concluded that the results were not faked, or purchased in Thailand, I can decide whether to accept the job. (Please understand my situation, but I will need the AIDS test and criminal check repeated every year.)

Also, are lunches provided at the school? If so, is it possible to eat my lunch alone at my desk? There is a Korean restaurant near my home. I went there once and it was full of Korean people. I love Korean food, but the eating noise was disturbing to me. The Korean customers talked with food in their mouth, and ate with their mouths open. Some men even spat in the ashtray. Do people in Korea eat like this? I hope not. Maybe the restaurant customers were Japanese. I don’t believe Koreans eat their food in the farm style. A Korean lady in my apartment building told me “Koreans are the culture and manners people.” So I feel much better. I’m glad I spoke to that nice Korean lady. She has invited me to have dinner with her family tomorrow night. Also, sorry of the saying this, but some people say that Koreans eating of the dog. I cannot believe it. Maybe Chinese people eat dogs, or the black face people, but not the Koreans. Some people say that Koreans even torture dogs to make them more delicious. I don’t believe it. I don’t think Koreans are the animal cruelty people. A Korean man at my fitness club said me that “Koreans are the kindness people.” He was handsome guy, and person of the church going, so I believe him. Now I feel much better. He has also invited me to his house for dinner.

Finally, please send me some photos of the area where I will live. My friends in Korea said that they were told by recruiter that they would be living in “Korea beautiful area” with 50 years of the civilization culture. But when they got to Korea, there was litter everywhere and men were spitting on the street. Is all of Korea dirty? I don’t think so. I saw some beautiful pictures of Korea on the internet. A nice Korean man in New York gave me a Dokdo bracelet last summer. I had never heard of Dokdo. Now I want to visit the beautiful the Dokdo. I want to visit Paris, Rome and London, but first I want to visit of the Dokdo. That is number one reason why I want to visit of the Korea.

Also, I am not the handsome guy, so I cannot get handsome man in America. But my friends working in Korea – John, Mark and Kevin – say Korean man really love the foreign guy. I like K-pop because every Korea pop star looks like the gay. They wear makeup and lipstick, and have the woman hair style. They dance like girls, and even wear the pink clothes. I do this too. That is second reason I want to teach in Korea. (I hope there is handsome man at your school.)

Anyway, I am very excited about teaching in the Korea and the Dokdo.
I look forward to hearing from you.

David Jones

[RangerMcGreggor]

What is this

[edwardcatflap]

Made me chuckle a couple of times

[Smithington]

Did he actually send this out to employers? Surely he's having a laugh at their expense, and wasn't really applying for a job. I'd be interested in what type of responses he got from the schools, especially since Koreans don't do irony. Also, sometimes they have a native teacher go through applications. They'd have a chuckle at it, but it could do with some editing.

Reminds me of "Emails from an asshole" that was so popular a couple of years' back. Get your 'friend' to post any responses he got - if he did indeed sent it out. That's where the real humor will be found.

[thisisausername]

[young_clinton]

Sounds genuine Nigerian. "Dear Esteemed Sir" should get it thrown into the wastebasket without wasting too much further time on the part of the recruiter. I guess we shall see.

[matthagwon]

[thisisausername]

Good lord. Scorpion clearly wasn't trying to trick anyone or convince anyone that this was a genuine letter. It's a joke guys.

[nicwr2002]

[Scorpion]

[Malislamusrex]

Best post I've seen in a while.

[Waygeek]

Scorpion desperately needs a hobby/significant other.

[Bondrock]

In a similar vein, I sent out this resume in 2007 to 2 recruiters and 4 hakwons. I got two replies from schools and one reply from a recruiter all asking for an interview.

Resume

Namely: Olắf Gếdumpt, BA, MA, P
[email protected]
Country: US
Age: 33 ⅓


Education:

ΦΣ Half my PhD… P. , still working on hD section. (C. Manson University, Berkely California)

Ω- Masters Degree in Therapeutical Dominatrix Techniques (New Yrok, and Ontario, Canada)

ЭЮ Bachelor: Currently Married
--------------------------
Work Experience:

Phatties Prep School: Teaching Englishe Language to phat girls [2006 – 2000).

Vatican City Naval Academy: 2 years in nincompoop training (1999 -1997)

Pjeckerwood Academy, Pjecjville, Wisconsin. This is a skool for bad boys, bad boys, what you gonna do? (1996 - !994)
------------------------------------
Volunteers Work: Punch’n Judy’s Couples Club (ticket taker), The Hague, (assistant executioner), Foghorn Leghorn’s Chicken Hawk Hunters (club).

References:

John Mark Karr [email protected]

Dr. William Cosby – [email protected]

William Hung -- [email protected]


I want to work in Korea. Please send me your school.
Contact me everyday at [email protected]

Thank you.


nice thread Scorpion!

[The Cosmic Hum]

[ibeattheborg]

My boss would be interesting to work your friend. Next month boss will opening another branch of YBEASC on the beautiful Dokdo.

YBEASC [Your Beautiful English American Style College] is very long time famous in sparkle Korea and the boss is gentleman with pink trousers. He is very friendly and caring, if your friend get sick the boss give him special medicine to make him happy again. No need to go to doctor.

Work special details: Money= 1.1 million every month, 1.2 if masters has.
Accommodations= shared shack with many utensils.
Travel: Return Ferry Fare to Japan when finish/die

Please send your friends information with a private message very quickly.