Korean Job Discussion Forums

[markness]

Sad thing is, is that there are people who write shit like this and send it out to employers.

[Ginormousaurus]

[ineedajob]

Are you sure your friend has a Masters in English? If so, it doesn't sound like he's a native English speaker.

[hogwonguy1979]

man that was funny, did anybody respond to your "friends" cover letter?

[Scorpion]

[Weigookin74]

Ha ha ha. Good for a morning laugh. I really hoped this wasn't serious. A Korean with mediocre English ain't going to read through a long speil....

[Weigookin74]

[Scorpion]

It was inevitable, I suppose. As soon as I promised to post one guy's cover letter on Dave's, all my needy 'help me find a job' loser friends start piling on. Can you post my cover letter too, Scorps good buddy? How can you post David's but not post mine, Scorpy ol' pal?. I've got bills piling up too, you know. Four loser 'friends' (get your own friggin account on Dave's you lazy #@%&s) ask me to post theirs for review. Again, all the sad stories about not getting any response from employers or recruiters. I tell them I'll post one more. "Do rock, scissor, paper and I'll post the winner's cover letter. But that's it." A dickhead, that I hardly even know, from Melbourne (or some such godforsaken place) won, so here's his letter. Please give it a look. He's given up on public schools and is now focusing in on Christian schools.

To: Yeoido Full Gospel Hogwan,

Good-day! My name is Finster Whiteface. I am a thirty-two year old from Brisbane, Australia. I read your advertisement and I would like to apply to your church school. I have a degree in ESL from an Australian university, and have taught ESL here for five years. I am very interested in teaching English in Korea. Since graduating from Outback University I have been teaching English to Koreans in Queensland. I have enjoyed teaching English very much. Now I would like to teach for a year in Korea.

One reason I want to visit Korea is because of the kimchi. I have a (very) serious disease (please don’t ask for a photo). But the good news is, a year ago I had four serious diseases. Australian doctors couldn’t help me. But one of my Korean students, Yu mi suk, told me that kimchi can cure any illness. I thought she was joking, but three of my diseases have gone away because of kimchi. I told my doctors about this and they said “Aha, that’s why your diseases went away. You found the Korea kimchi.” I was confused. “Do they know the kimchi?” I think Australian doctors know about its healing powers, but they don’t tell their patients. They only want to sell expensive drugs to patients. (Foreigners are not the honest people like the Korean).

Unfortunately, I still have one serious disease. That is why I want to go to the Korea. If I eat kimchi every day, eat the Korea food, and pray to the Jesus maybe this disease will also go away. Before I was not the “Do you know the Jesus?” person, but if I go to Korea for the kimchi healing, maybe I can be Christian. I plan to eat kimchi while I pray to the Jesus. Maybe together I can have a miracle. A Korea friend told me that Jesus and his friends ate kimchi at the Last Supper, and that Korea churches give kimchi at communion time. It makes sense to me. It is red like Jesus’ blood, it’s eaten, and has magic healing powers, so maybe my Korea friend is truthful guy. He also says Koreans, not the “wall of the Jews” are the ‘Chosun’ people. The truth is very important to me, and my Korea friend says the Korea people are the “Jesus Korea Chosun Honesty People.” This made me happy. I look forward to meeting them when I start working in Korea.

If I have the Jesus cure from the kimchi / Jesus combo I want to spread the news to many peoples. I love travelling, so I will take the good news to many countries. Unfortunately, because of my disease I am currently banned from many countries, but once I am cured (praise Jesus, praise kimchi) there will be no problem. I have always wanted to visit Afghanistan. It looks so beautiful on the news. They are the Muslim people but my Korea friend tells me they wanting Jesus and the Korean culture. I will take my good news to the Afganistans, and tell them about my healing by Jesus and Korea food. I feel very positive about this, and look forward to having my picture taken at the airport before going to Afghanistan. Maybe some people from your church can go with me? What could possibly go wrong? Anyway, I look forward to teaching at your school. Please tell me when I can start working there.

Thank you,
Finster Whiteface

Praise Jesus
Praise Kimchi
Praise Korea
Praise Yeoido Full Gospel Christian Hagwon




Ps: Do foreigners need a health check before working in Korea?

[Nester Noodlemon]

[I'm With You]

Scorpion,

You come across as a complete asshole in that cover letter. If I received that letter, I'd have a bit of a laugh at the desperation oozing from it and the blatant lying & dishonesty, and then just chuck it.

You're a - and I hate using this stupid word - douche.

A zero sum kind of guy, best described as a zero, if also a bit predatory.

Not the kind of people we want around schools.

Try selling used cars. Maybe pyramid schemes or a position with Bernie Madoff or at Enron.

[I'm With You]

You know, I think I just got fished in here, by ol' Scorpion.

No one, I mean no one, is stupid enonugh to write a cover letter this verbose or insulting. It can't a be real.

Must be an evil ruse by a sadistic EFL Troll.

I just cannot believe that this is real.

[Waygeek]

Scorpion desperately needs a hobby/significant other.

I wouldn't mind but slagging off Koreans is one thing, but he's making fun of foreigners. People like Scorpion are just out for themselves in this country and have no sense of 'community' with other waygooks; unfortunately there are far too many like him here. Were this not the case, teaching here might be a little more pleasant because people would have rallied against the BS some Koreans pull a long time ago.

[ibeattheborg]

[Ginormousaurus]

[markness]