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chellovek

Joined: 29 Feb 2008
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Posted: Sun Jan 26, 2014 12:17 am Post subject: |
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| Janny wrote: |
If the stories are true, you seem overly interested in our opinions of them. You intro'd your story in another thread "China saga forthcoming...." or something like that. Judging by the replies on THAT thread (midnight run thing) I don't know why you thought you'd get positive reinforcement here.
If you're for real, just share your story and observe the responses. If most ppl call you a liar, try to figure out why. Arguing is futile; most people on this board are a bit bitter but very intelligent.
I think you're telling the truth, but your writing style implies fiction. Like you made it up as you were typing. |
What?  |
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transmogrifier
Joined: 02 Jan 2012 Location: Seoul, South Korea
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Posted: Sun Jan 26, 2014 12:41 am Post subject: |
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My first rule of reading: If the author has started each sentence on a new line, then reading shall not occur.
Awful. |
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Stain
Joined: 08 Jan 2014
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Posted: Sun Jan 26, 2014 1:00 am Post subject: |
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| Actually, my biggest problem with the story was the development of the rising action. It seemed the lost phone was a good start but it didn't lead anywhere interesting. Also, the author didn't develop the ex-girlfriend's character enough. What was her motivation for having him beat up? I mean, you explain it at the end but it's doesn't feel justified. The characters all seem a bit two dimensional as well. Ultimately, the ending didn't really resolve the conflict. I don't know, I just feel the story needs some work. OP, is this a first draft? |
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Youngben88
Joined: 19 Jul 2013
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Posted: Sun Jan 26, 2014 5:11 am Post subject: |
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It was an iPhone 4S.
I had no means of tracking it and it was shut off almost immediately.
To be honest, I wasn't keen on the two guys in Guangzhou but they kept nagging me to visit.
Ditto my best friend in Baotou.
They needed me more than I needed them, I was perfectly happy in the uk.
The stupid thing was going there from the uk when I could have visited from japan.
No, I don't have a drinking problem... |
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Youngben88
Joined: 19 Jul 2013
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Posted: Sun Jan 26, 2014 5:12 am Post subject: |
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Bahaha.
It's a true story. |
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Youngben88
Joined: 19 Jul 2013
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Posted: Sun Jan 26, 2014 5:14 am Post subject: |
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| I knew each of the people as being dodgy but I couldn't refuse the constant nagging. |
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Keeper
Joined: 11 Jun 2012
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Posted: Wed Jan 29, 2014 1:16 am Post subject: |
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This is known as a life lesson. You will think of this years from now when needed and it will save you some misery and/or pain. I think most people have stories of horrible experiences where they think things like, "if only I had done this instead" or "why me?". In the end, (if true ) , this story will shape who you are and how you respond to others in the future. The trick is in not letting bad experiences make you completely anti-social. |
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andrewchon

Joined: 16 Nov 2008 Location: Back in Oz. Living in ISIS Aust.
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Posted: Wed Jan 29, 2014 6:39 am Post subject: |
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Not only drinking problem but also hallucionogenic salad dressing as well. However, he seems to have the luck of Johnny English, so he should just carry on...ESL. That title hasn't been used yet, has it? Although 70's show 'Mind Your Language' took a fair shot at it.  |
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andrewchon

Joined: 16 Nov 2008 Location: Back in Oz. Living in ISIS Aust.
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Posted: Wed Jan 29, 2014 7:08 am Post subject: |
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Here's a song for the movie: Carry on... ESL
(sung to Shirley Bassey's Gold Finger)
Gold iphone
It's a phone worth 800 quid
Pretty girls beware of his phone of gold
It's not his phone!
He stole that phone!
Next:
You Only Teach Twice.
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