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Zackback
Joined: 05 Nov 2010
Location: Kyungbuk
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 Posted: Thu Feb 27, 2014 9:17 am Post subject: Got involved in a student relationship |
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Hear me out.
I hang outwith this guy in my university class. Real cool guy. The thing is though he was seeing a girl in the class I have with him and he complained to me about how awful she treats him. At first I just took it as just a chick being ornery once in awhile but his stories got more bizarre concerning her unstable and hostile behavior. So I got to the point of just telling him to get rid of her.
Finally, he made the right move and did.
So happens that she found out about what I told him. Now she is steamed at me. Got called in to the department head about this situation and man I'm like how did it ever come to this.
So where do you draw the line about something like this. I thought at first to just stay out of it but now that I see the guy he seems so relieved like a 100 pound weight is off his back. |
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denverdeath
Joined: 21 May 2005
Location: Boo-sahn
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| Posted: Thu Feb 27, 2014 9:29 am Post subject: |
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| Distance is the best card to be played. "I'd REALLY love to give you some stellar advice. Yet, as I am your teacher, AND hers, I should not get involved. Sorry." |
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Zackback
Joined: 05 Nov 2010
Location: Kyungbuk
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| Posted: Thu Feb 27, 2014 9:34 am Post subject: |
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Yeah I see what you mean.
I just threw the boss some line that the situation was causing such a severe problem with him that he couldn't concentrate in my class and I felt being his teacher it was my "duty" to remove any and all impediments in his pursuit of a good education. Boss seemed to buy at at first until I just couldn't hold my laughter in anymore. |
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Scorpion
Joined: 15 Apr 2012
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| Posted: Thu Feb 27, 2014 3:57 pm Post subject: |
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Christ man, have youy never heard of "professional distance." Are you so hard up for friends that you're forced to hang out with your students. You are their teacher. Do your job and then look for friends elsewhere.
Stupid rookie error. |
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Hokie21
Joined: 01 Mar 2011
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| Posted: Thu Feb 27, 2014 4:25 pm Post subject: Re: Got involved in a student relationship |
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| Zackback wrote: |
Hear me out.
I hang outwith this guy in my university class. Real cool guy. The thing is though he was seeing a girl in the class I have with him and he complained to me about how awful she treats him. At first I just took it as just a chick being ornery once in awhile but his stories got more bizarre concerning her unstable and hostile behavior. So I got to the point of just telling him to get rid of her.
Finally, he made the right move and did.
So happens that she found out about what I told him. Now she is steamed at me. Got called in to the department head about this situation and man I'm like how did it ever come to this.
So where do you draw the line about something like this. I thought at first to just stay out of it but now that I see the guy he seems so relieved like a 100 pound weight is off his back. |
Simply put....stay out of it. Guy is a university student? He's an adult and can take care of his own private life. Now you've created an incident with your student and/or management. Not very professional and doesn't reflect very well on you.
But that's just my opinion.
PS. Knowing your track record of trawling university girls half your age are you sure you weren't just trying to sabotage this relationship so you could move in and take a shot at her? |
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I-am-me
Joined: 21 Feb 2006
Location: Hermit Kingdom
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| Posted: Thu Feb 27, 2014 4:28 pm Post subject: |
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| "I hang out with this university guy" That's your first problem. That's not very professional. |
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SeoulNate
Joined: 04 Jun 2010
Location: Hyehwa
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| Posted: Thu Feb 27, 2014 5:47 pm Post subject: |
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| I-am-me wrote: |
| "I hang out with this university guy" That's your first problem. That's not very professional. |
beat me to the punch.
It doesn't matter how old you are or how old your students are, half of the students in our graduate school that I teach are older than I am, but that does not mean I am going to go out to dinner/drinks with them. |
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Zackback
Joined: 05 Nov 2010
Location: Kyungbuk
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| Posted: Thu Feb 27, 2014 7:41 pm Post subject: Re: Got involved in a student relationship |
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| Hokie21 wrote: |
| PS. Knowing your track record of trawling university girls half your age are you sure you weren't just trying to sabotage this relationship so you could move in and take a shot at her? |
No way man. Too bossy for me.
Anyway yuo guys are missing out on establishing some real good friendships by refusing to hang out with your students. You never do this even once? |
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creeper1
Joined: 30 Jan 2007
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| Posted: Thu Feb 27, 2014 7:54 pm Post subject: |
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| I opened this thread expecting the OP to be sleeping with one of his university students. |
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Hokie21
Joined: 01 Mar 2011
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| Posted: Thu Feb 27, 2014 8:09 pm Post subject: |
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| creeper1 wrote: |
| I opened this thread expecting the OP to be sleeping with one of his university students. |
Well he used to post about how he would go running around schools with his shirt off looking to impress the female students so I wouldn't be surprised if that has happened as well. |
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Hokie21
Joined: 01 Mar 2011
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| Posted: Thu Feb 27, 2014 8:12 pm Post subject: Re: Got involved in a student relationship |
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| Zackback wrote: |
| Hokie21 wrote: |
| PS. Knowing your track record of trawling university girls half your age are you sure you weren't just trying to sabotage this relationship so you could move in and take a shot at her? |
No way man. Too bossy for me.
Anyway yuo guys are missing out on establishing some real good friendships by refusing to hang out with your students. You never do this even once? |
Of course not. Why would you do something as desperate as that? I find it hard enough to find common ground with my 21 year old co-workers let alone a teenage Korean student.
Oh and I'm not creepy...so that's probably the main reason why I don't do it. |
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sigmundsmith
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
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| Posted: Thu Feb 27, 2014 10:09 pm Post subject: |
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| I-am-me wrote: |
| "I hang out with this university guy" That's your first problem. That's not very professional. |
Actually, some universities encourage socializing outside of the classroom with students - both Korean and non-Korean teachers/instructors/professors. The debate about professionalism is a viable one and justified in our own respective cultures but in Korea it can be quite the opposite.
I am not saying you become buddies with your students and go out regularly but in Korea it is expected that you maybe have coffee, lunch or dinner and maybe even a few drinks at least once during the semester. Of course some universities do not encourage this. I have worked for 2 female universities and one encouraged socializing with students while the other one did not allow it for foreign teachers.
If you do socialize make sure that there is still a line - you are the student and I am your teacher. I personally have never had any issues with students of mine when it comes to socializing. |
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World Traveler
Joined: 29 May 2009
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| Posted: Thu Feb 27, 2014 10:19 pm Post subject: |
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| sigmundsmith wrote: |
| one encouraged socializing with students while the other one did not allow it for foreign teachers. |
Just for foreign teachers? For Korean teachers it was OK? |
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I-am-me
Joined: 21 Feb 2006
Location: Hermit Kingdom
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| Posted: Thu Feb 27, 2014 11:26 pm Post subject: |
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| Foreigners will always be scrutinized more. More of a reason not to hang out with your students. |
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Skippy
Joined: 18 Jan 2003
Location: Daejeon
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| Posted: Thu Feb 27, 2014 11:46 pm Post subject: |
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| creeper1 wrote: |
| I opened this thread expecting the OP to be sleeping with one of his university students. |
Me, too. Me, too.
That is the thing with relationships of the professional variety. You need to keep it professional! It is nice the liked by the students, it can help the job and heck even keep a job. Problem is being friends changes the dynamic. When you are friends you are expected to stand by them, which if starts to come downto effecting grades and life. You can be expected to bend rules or help the person because of being a friend.
Sum it up as be friendly but do not be friends.
| Quote: |
| Foreigners will always be scrutinized more. More of a reason not to hang out with your students. |
This is the other part. We will be judged and treated differently. Sometimes we will be given leeway and breaks. Others you will be judged more harshly. |
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