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Guys with Mixed Children Here--How Do They Fit In?
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Died By Bear



Joined: 13 Jul 2010
Location: On the big lake they call Gitche Gumee

PostPosted: Sat Mar 29, 2014 5:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
And the US and Korea are more similar than we think. We sometimes forget how much is similar because we like to focus so much on what is different.


Agreed. It's hard to keep that in perspective when you're in Korea. Once you get back to your home country, you realize it.
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T-J



Joined: 10 Oct 2008
Location: Seoul EunpyungGu Yeonsinnae

PostPosted: Sun Mar 30, 2014 12:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote


Our son was born in the U.S. and he attended public school there. We returned to Korea six years ago and our son is in public school here.

My wife experienced more overt racist comments in the U.S. than I've ever experienced here. The virility of the comments and insults she received there far exceed anything said to either of us here in Korea.

I received more "passive aggressive" comments in the U.S. Than I've ever received here. People assuming my son is adopted, etc.

My son was viewed as much more of an ethnic outsider in kindergarten being the only Asian in a class of 25 other students purely of European decent.

All of that being said, are there occasional problems here in Korea? Of course. People are people.

Having actually lived in both countries and having had my son in both school systems, I find Korea more agreeable.

Of course this is just my personal experience. YMMV.
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byrddogs



Joined: 19 Jun 2009
Location: Shanghai

PostPosted: Sun Mar 30, 2014 1:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

T-J wrote:

Our son was born in the U.S. and he attended public school there. We returned to Korea six years ago and our son is in public school here.

My wife experienced more overt racist comments in the U.S. than I've ever experienced here. The virility of the comments and insults she received there far exceed anything said to either of us here in Korea.

I received more "passive aggressive" comments in the U.S. Than I've ever received here. People assuming my son is adopted, etc.

My son was viewed as much more of an ethnic outsider in kindergarten being the only Asian in a class of 25 other students purely of European decent.

All of that being said, are there occasional problems here in Korea? Of course. People are people.

Having actually lived in both countries and having had my son in both school systems, I find Korea more agreeable.

Of course this is just my personal experience. YMMV.


Where in the U.S. were you guys living? Was this an all over the place kind of treatment?
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Sesame



Joined: 16 Mar 2014

PostPosted: Sun Mar 30, 2014 1:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

T-J wrote:

Our son was born in the U.S. and he attended public school there. We returned to Korea six years ago and our son is in public school here.

My wife experienced more overt racist comments in the U.S. than I've ever experienced here. The virility of the comments and insults she received there far exceed anything said to either of us here in Korea.

I received more "passive aggressive" comments in the U.S. Than I've ever received here. People assuming my son is adopted, etc.

My son was viewed as much more of an ethnic outsider in kindergarten being the only Asian in a class of 25 other students purely of European decent.

All of that being said, are there occasional problems here in Korea? Of course. People are people.

Having actually lived in both countries and having had my son in both school systems, I find Korea more agreeable.

Of course this is just my personal experience. YMMV.

You just probably dont understand what people say here. And where did you go in the US..must have been in the ghetto or deep back country south. They dont act like that in your average suburb.

I call BS on your story. Nobody is going to say racist stuff to your asian wife and mixed kids out loud. In my 29 years living in the burbs I never once heard anyone say racist things to an asian or to my adopted cousin who is from China. Koreans display their racism WAY more than Americans do.
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cabeza



Joined: 29 Sep 2012

PostPosted: Sun Mar 30, 2014 2:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sesame wrote:
T-J wrote:

Our son was born in the U.S. and he attended public school there. We returned to Korea six years ago and our son is in public school here.

My wife experienced more overt racist comments in the U.S. than I've ever experienced here. The virility of the comments and insults she received there far exceed anything said to either of us here in Korea.

I received more "passive aggressive" comments in the U.S. Than I've ever received here. People assuming my son is adopted, etc.

My son was viewed as much more of an ethnic outsider in kindergarten being the only Asian in a class of 25 other students purely of European decent.

All of that being said, are there occasional problems here in Korea? Of course. People are people.

Having actually lived in both countries and having had my son in both school systems, I find Korea more agreeable.

Of course this is just my personal experience. YMMV.

You just probably dont understand what people say here. And where did you go in the US..must have been in the ghetto or deep back country south. They dont act like that in your average suburb.

I call BS on your story. Nobody is going to say racist stuff to your asian wife and mixed kids out loud. In my 29 years living in the burbs I never once heard anyone say racist things to an asian or to my adopted cousin who is from China. Koreans display their racism WAY more than Americans do.


This guy T-J has always seemed like a pretty straight down the middle dude. Why is he going to lie.

Just because his experience doesn't fit your preconception or narrative doesn't mean you can call it bs. He has lived with his mixed kid and wife in both countries. Have you? If not, back in your hole.
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Speck7



Joined: 05 Sep 2012

PostPosted: Sun Mar 30, 2014 2:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

cabeza wrote:
Sesame wrote:
T-J wrote:

Our son was born in the U.S. and he attended public school there. We returned to Korea six years ago and our son is in public school here.

My wife experienced more overt racist comments in the U.S. than I've ever experienced here. The virility of the comments and insults she received there far exceed anything said to either of us here in Korea.

I received more "passive aggressive" comments in the U.S. Than I've ever received here. People assuming my son is adopted, etc.

My son was viewed as much more of an ethnic outsider in kindergarten being the only Asian in a class of 25 other students purely of European decent.

All of that being said, are there occasional problems here in Korea? Of course. People are people.

Having actually lived in both countries and having had my son in both school systems, I find Korea more agreeable.

Of course this is just my personal experience. YMMV.

You just probably dont understand what people say here. And where did you go in the US..must have been in the ghetto or deep back country south. They dont act like that in your average suburb.

I call BS on your story. Nobody is going to say racist stuff to your asian wife and mixed kids out loud. In my 29 years living in the burbs I never once heard anyone say racist things to an asian or to my adopted cousin who is from China. Koreans display their racism WAY more than Americans do.


This guy T-J has always seemed like a pretty straight down the middle dude. Why is he going to lie.

Just because his experience doesn't fit your preconception or narrative doesn't mean you can call it bs. He has lived with his mixed kid and wife in both countries. Have you? If not, back in your hole.

Here's my view:
Just because TJ "may have" had a few "racist" episodes involving his asian wife and kid doesn't make a trend. You can't take one plot point in a string of data and say it is always like that in States. There's no trend there. There's been numerous examples of xenophobia and racism that I've endured in Korea in my 5 years and many other towards outsiders in Korea which can qualify as a "trend" or a "tendency". Much more so than America.
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AfroBurrito



Joined: 19 Dec 2013

PostPosted: Sun Mar 30, 2014 2:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Jongno2bucheon wrote:
AfroBurrito wrote:
Jongno2bucheon wrote:
AfroBurrito wrote:
I am mixed race. Black/Latina. And am now pregnant with a Black/Latin/Korean...whom I hope will be very happy and proud to be mixed race.

I fear what this may mean for his/her life in Korea (his father wants us to stay in Korea to make money, and then return to the States), because while Korea does appear to have made significant progress in its views on foreigners wedded to Koreans, I read just as many horrifying stories about children being bullied and taunted for not being "real" Koreans. I'll not be subjecting my child to such nonsense if it can be helped.


It happens to Asian American kids all the time. We are told we are not American all the time, even though we were born in the US and grew up there. I imagine that happens way less to other ethnicities


While I am mixed Black/Latina I look more Latina, with the exception of my hair. Thus inducing many a redneck or mindless fool to call me and my cousins "beaners" or encourage us to "Go back to Mexico!" I am from Texas. Experiences are probably different depending upon where one lives. The SF Bay Area has tended to embrace diversity more, but we cannot all live in enlightened communities.


I hear that too occasionally, even in Los Angeles. " go back to where you came from" ! All while they are in a car driving away of course and probably visiting from a different state driving on my tax paid roads.

Bay Area is diverse, but not the heart of SF.... Outside of the mission district its hard to see Mexicans around. SF lays the carpet down for east coast whites, even over the old school hippies it seems. Across the bay bridge is another story though.

What about Dallas? Do you think its okay and diverse there?


I only worked in San Francisco. I lived in Oakland. I hella <3 Oakland!

I am from Austin, which claims to be ethnically and racially diverse, but really isn't. There is a different type of diversity to be had there. In my opinion Houston is far more diverse than the other Texas cities, but it gets a bad rap because it is enormous, ugly, and humid. I actually think Houston has loads of charm in the right spots. But that's just me.

Dallas is waaaaaay too hoighty-toighty and conservative for me. George W. Bush chose SMU for his Presidential library and Dallas as his home for a reason.

People think of Dallas as our Debutante city.
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Jongno2bucheon



Joined: 11 Mar 2014

PostPosted: Sun Mar 30, 2014 2:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Speck7 wrote:
cabeza wrote:
Sesame wrote:
T-J wrote:

Our son was born in the U.S. and he attended public school there. We returned to Korea six years ago and our son is in public school here.

My wife experienced more overt racist comments in the U.S. than I've ever experienced here. The virility of the comments and insults she received there far exceed anything said to either of us here in Korea.

I received more "passive aggressive" comments in the U.S. Than I've ever received here. People assuming my son is adopted, etc.

My son was viewed as much more of an ethnic outsider in kindergarten being the only Asian in a class of 25 other students purely of European decent.

All of that being said, are there occasional problems here in Korea? Of course. People are people.

Having actually lived in both countries and having had my son in both school systems, I find Korea more agreeable.

Of course this is just my personal experience. YMMV.

You just probably dont understand what people say here. And where did you go in the US..must have been in the ghetto or deep back country south. They dont act like that in your average suburb.

I call BS on your story. Nobody is going to say racist stuff to your asian wife and mixed kids out loud. In my 29 years living in the burbs I never once heard anyone say racist things to an asian or to my adopted cousin who is from China. Koreans display their racism WAY more than Americans do.


This guy T-J has always seemed like a pretty straight down the middle dude. Why is he going to lie.

Just because his experience doesn't fit your preconception or narrative doesn't mean you can call it bs. He has lived with his mixed kid and wife in both countries. Have you? If not, back in your hole.

Here's my view:
Just because TJ "may have" had a few "racist" episodes involving his asian wife and kid doesn't make a trend. You can't take one plot point in a string of data and say it is always like that in States. There's no trend there. There's been numerous examples of xenophobia and racism that I've endured in Korea in my 5 years and many other towards outsiders in Korea which can qualify as a "trend" or a "tendency". Much more so than America.


Actually, i thought its implicit that his description doesnt encompass all Americans. I actually agree with him, i have experienced far more racism in the US than in Korea.
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Jongno2bucheon



Joined: 11 Mar 2014

PostPosted: Sun Mar 30, 2014 2:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

AfroBurrito wrote:
Jongno2bucheon wrote:
AfroBurrito wrote:
Jongno2bucheon wrote:
AfroBurrito wrote:
I am mixed race. Black/Latina. And am now pregnant with a Black/Latin/Korean...whom I hope will be very happy and proud to be mixed race.

I fear what this may mean for his/her life in Korea (his father wants us to stay in Korea to make money, and then return to the States), because while Korea does appear to have made significant progress in its views on foreigners wedded to Koreans, I read just as many horrifying stories about children being bullied and taunted for not being "real" Koreans. I'll not be subjecting my child to such nonsense if it can be helped.


It happens to Asian American kids all the time. We are told we are not American all the time, even though we were born in the US and grew up there. I imagine that happens way less to other ethnicities


While I am mixed Black/Latina I look more Latina, with the exception of my hair. Thus inducing many a redneck or mindless fool to call me and my cousins "beaners" or encourage us to "Go back to Mexico!" I am from Texas. Experiences are probably different depending upon where one lives. The SF Bay Area has tended to embrace diversity more, but we cannot all live in enlightened communities.


I hear that too occasionally, even in Los Angeles. " go back to where you came from" ! All while they are in a car driving away of course and probably visiting from a different state driving on my tax paid roads.

Bay Area is diverse, but not the heart of SF.... Outside of the mission district its hard to see Mexicans around. SF lays the carpet down for east coast whites, even over the old school hippies it seems. Across the bay bridge is another story though.

What about Dallas? Do you think its okay and diverse there?


I only worked in San Francisco. I lived in Oakland. I hella <3 Oakland!

I am from Austin, which claims to be ethnically and racially diverse, but really isn't. There is a different type of diversity to be had there. In my opinion Houston is far more diverse than the other Texas cities, but it gets a bad rap because it is enormous, ugly, and humid. I actually think Houston has loads of charm in the right spots. But that's just me.

Dallas is waaaaaay too hoighty-toighty and conservative for me. George W. Bush chose SMU for his Presidential library and Dallas as his home for a reason.

People think of Dallas as our Debutante city.


Ahhh hahaha oh no. I had my hopes up for Dallas.

Yeah i like oakland too. East bay is a cool place. The best place imo outside of LA and Hawaii. ^^

But one thing about texas i like is that there seems to be less creepy white doods there that love fetishizing on Asian girls. That is about the only part of conservatism i like. But yeah thanks for the heads up about dallas! I think with your kids backgroundthey are already prime candidates to be the next mayor of Los Angeles, lemme know if you need a campaign manager. Kk Wink
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Speck7



Joined: 05 Sep 2012

PostPosted: Sun Mar 30, 2014 4:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Jongno2bucheon wrote:
Speck7 wrote:
cabeza wrote:
Sesame wrote:
T-J wrote:

Our son was born in the U.S. and he attended public school there. We returned to Korea six years ago and our son is in public school here.

My wife experienced more overt racist comments in the U.S. than I've ever experienced here. The virility of the comments and insults she received there far exceed anything said to either of us here in Korea.

I received more "passive aggressive" comments in the U.S. Than I've ever received here. People assuming my son is adopted, etc.

My son was viewed as much more of an ethnic outsider in kindergarten being the only Asian in a class of 25 other students purely of European decent.

All of that being said, are there occasional problems here in Korea? Of course. People are people.

Having actually lived in both countries and having had my son in both school systems, I find Korea more agreeable.

Of course this is just my personal experience. YMMV.

You just probably dont understand what people say here. And where did you go in the US..must have been in the ghetto or deep back country south. They dont act like that in your average suburb.

I call BS on your story. Nobody is going to say racist stuff to your asian wife and mixed kids out loud. In my 29 years living in the burbs I never once heard anyone say racist things to an asian or to my adopted cousin who is from China. Koreans display their racism WAY more than Americans do.


This guy T-J has always seemed like a pretty straight down the middle dude. Why is he going to lie.

Just because his experience doesn't fit your preconception or narrative doesn't mean you can call it bs. He has lived with his mixed kid and wife in both countries. Have you? If not, back in your hole.

Here's my view:
Just because TJ "may have" had a few "racist" episodes involving his asian wife and kid doesn't make a trend. You can't take one plot point in a string of data and say it is always like that in States. There's no trend there. There's been numerous examples of xenophobia and racism that I've endured in Korea in my 5 years and many other towards outsiders in Korea which can qualify as a "trend" or a "tendency". Much more so than America.


Actually, i thought its implicit that his description doesnt encompass all Americans. I actually agree with him, i have experienced far more racism in the US than in Korea.

In what ways, what color/ethnicity are you? I think white people hear more racism hurled their way from blacks, though, than any other demographic in America.
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Speck7



Joined: 05 Sep 2012

PostPosted: Sun Mar 30, 2014 4:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Jongno2bucheon wrote:
AfroBurrito wrote:
Jongno2bucheon wrote:
AfroBurrito wrote:
Jongno2bucheon wrote:
AfroBurrito wrote:
I am mixed race. Black/Latina. And am now pregnant with a Black/Latin/Korean...whom I hope will be very happy and proud to be mixed race.

I fear what this may mean for his/her life in Korea (his father wants us to stay in Korea to make money, and then return to the States), because while Korea does appear to have made significant progress in its views on foreigners wedded to Koreans, I read just as many horrifying stories about children being bullied and taunted for not being "real" Koreans. I'll not be subjecting my child to such nonsense if it can be helped.


It happens to Asian American kids all the time. We are told we are not American all the time, even though we were born in the US and grew up there. I imagine that happens way less to other ethnicities


While I am mixed Black/Latina I look more Latina, with the exception of my hair. Thus inducing many a redneck or mindless fool to call me and my cousins "beaners" or encourage us to "Go back to Mexico!" I am from Texas. Experiences are probably different depending upon where one lives. The SF Bay Area has tended to embrace diversity more, but we cannot all live in enlightened communities.


I hear that too occasionally, even in Los Angeles. " go back to where you came from" ! All while they are in a car driving away of course and probably visiting from a different state driving on my tax paid roads.

Bay Area is diverse, but not the heart of SF.... Outside of the mission district its hard to see Mexicans around. SF lays the carpet down for east coast whites, even over the old school hippies it seems. Across the bay bridge is another story though.

What about Dallas? Do you think its okay and diverse there?


I only worked in San Francisco. I lived in Oakland. I hella <3 Oakland!

I am from Austin, which claims to be ethnically and racially diverse, but really isn't. There is a different type of diversity to be had there. In my opinion Houston is far more diverse than the other Texas cities, but it gets a bad rap because it is enormous, ugly, and humid. I actually think Houston has loads of charm in the right spots. But that's just me.

Dallas is waaaaaay too hoighty-toighty and conservative for me. George W. Bush chose SMU for his Presidential library and Dallas as his home for a reason.

People think of Dallas as our Debutante city.


Ahhh hahaha oh no. I had my hopes up for Dallas.

Yeah i like oakland too. East bay is a cool place. The best place imo outside of LA and Hawaii. ^^

But one thing about texas i like is that there seems to be less creepy white doods there that love fetishizing on Asian girls. That is about the only part of conservatism i like. But yeah thanks for the heads up about dallas! I think with your kids backgroundthey are already prime candidates to be the next mayor of Los Angeles, lemme know if you need a campaign manager. Kk Wink

Do you find WMAW relationships "creepy"? What about AMWW or WWBM/WMBW relationships? Creepy, too?
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Captain Corea



Joined: 28 Feb 2005
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Sun Mar 30, 2014 4:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sesame wrote:
T-J wrote:

Our son was born in the U.S. and he attended public school there. We returned to Korea six years ago and our son is in public school here.

My wife experienced more overt racist comments in the U.S. than I've ever experienced here. The virility of the comments and insults she received there far exceed anything said to either of us here in Korea.

I received more "passive aggressive" comments in the U.S. Than I've ever received here. People assuming my son is adopted, etc.

My son was viewed as much more of an ethnic outsider in kindergarten being the only Asian in a class of 25 other students purely of European decent.

All of that being said, are there occasional problems here in Korea? Of course. People are people.

Having actually lived in both countries and having had my son in both school systems, I find Korea more agreeable.

Of course this is just my personal experience. YMMV.

You just probably dont understand what people say here. And where did you go in the US..must have been in the ghetto or deep back country south. They dont act like that in your average suburb.

I call BS on your story. Nobody is going to say racist stuff to your asian wife and mixed kids out loud. In my 29 years living in the burbs I never once heard anyone say racist things to an asian or to my adopted cousin who is from China. Koreans display their racism WAY more than Americans do.


Everyone has their own experiences... and I've come to not discount someone's just because they differ from mine.

FWIW, I'm guessing TJ could understand what's being said around him in Korea. He's pretty fluent, moreso than most here. And he's obviously got a lot of insight having lived in two countries with his family.
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Stain



Joined: 08 Jan 2014

PostPosted: Sun Mar 30, 2014 6:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Captain Corea wrote:
Sesame wrote:
T-J wrote:

Our son was born in the U.S. and he attended public school there. We returned to Korea six years ago and our son is in public school here.

My wife experienced more overt racist comments in the U.S. than I've ever experienced here. The virility of the comments and insults she received there far exceed anything said to either of us here in Korea.

I received more "passive aggressive" comments in the U.S. Than I've ever received here. People assuming my son is adopted, etc.

My son was viewed as much more of an ethnic outsider in kindergarten being the only Asian in a class of 25 other students purely of European decent.

All of that being said, are there occasional problems here in Korea? Of course. People are people.

Having actually lived in both countries and having had my son in both school systems, I find Korea more agreeable.

Of course this is just my personal experience. YMMV.

You just probably dont understand what people say here. And where did you go in the US..must have been in the ghetto or deep back country south. They dont act like that in your average suburb.

I call BS on your story. Nobody is going to say racist stuff to your asian wife and mixed kids out loud. In my 29 years living in the burbs I never once heard anyone say racist things to an asian or to my adopted cousin who is from China. Koreans display their racism WAY more than Americans do.


Everyone has their own experiences... and I've come to not discount someone's just because they differ from mine.

FWIW, I'm guessing TJ could understand what's being said around him in Korea. He's pretty fluent, moreso than most here. And he's obviously got a lot of insight having lived in two countries with his family.


Yeah, Captain, but how is his English? He could have misinterpreted what people were saying in the US, especially if it was as he described "passive-aggressive" in nature.
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krnpowr



Joined: 08 Dec 2011
Location: Midwest, USA

PostPosted: Sun Mar 30, 2014 1:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sesame wrote:
T-J wrote:

Our son was born in the U.S. and he attended public school there. We returned to Korea six years ago and our son is in public school here.

My wife experienced more overt racist comments in the U.S. than I've ever experienced here. The virility of the comments and insults she received there far exceed anything said to either of us here in Korea.

I received more "passive aggressive" comments in the U.S. Than I've ever received here. People assuming my son is adopted, etc.

My son was viewed as much more of an ethnic outsider in kindergarten being the only Asian in a class of 25 other students purely of European decent.

All of that being said, are there occasional problems here in Korea? Of course. People are people.

Having actually lived in both countries and having had my son in both school systems, I find Korea more agreeable.

Of course this is just my personal experience. YMMV.

You just probably dont understand what people say here. And where did you go in the US..must have been in the ghetto or deep back country south. They dont act like that in your average suburb.

I call BS on your story. Nobody is going to say racist stuff to your asian wife and mixed kids out loud. In my 29 years living in the burbs I never once heard anyone say racist things to an asian or to my adopted cousin who is from China. Koreans display their racism WAY more than Americans do.


Oh B.S.! That's the biggest crock of sh!t I've ever heard! Unless you're an Asian that grew up in America, you will NEVER know what Asians growing up in America or any other Western country have to endure. Your conclusions based merely on anecdotal evidence are far from reality.
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shitaki



Joined: 19 Mar 2012

PostPosted: Sun Mar 30, 2014 2:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

krnpowr wrote:
Sesame wrote:
T-J wrote:

Our son was born in the U.S. and he attended public school there. We returned to Korea six years ago and our son is in public school here.

My wife experienced more overt racist comments in the U.S. than I've ever experienced here. The virility of the comments and insults she received there far exceed anything said to either of us here in Korea.

I received more "passive aggressive" comments in the U.S. Than I've ever received here. People assuming my son is adopted, etc.

My son was viewed as much more of an ethnic outsider in kindergarten being the only Asian in a class of 25 other students purely of European decent.

All of that being said, are there occasional problems here in Korea? Of course. People are people.

Having actually lived in both countries and having had my son in both school systems, I find Korea more agreeable.

Of course this is just my personal experience. YMMV.

You just probably dont understand what people say here. And where did you go in the US..must have been in the ghetto or deep back country south. They dont act like that in your average suburb.

I call BS on your story. Nobody is going to say racist stuff to your asian wife and mixed kids out loud. In my 29 years living in the burbs I never once heard anyone say racist things to an asian or to my adopted cousin who is from China. Koreans display their racism WAY more than Americans do.


Oh B.S.! That's the biggest crock of sh!t I've ever heard! Unless you're an Asian that grew up in America, you will NEVER know what Asians growing up in America or any other Western country have to endure. Your conclusions based merely on anecdotal evidence are far from reality.


Omg yes someone gets it. I feel like another people like they know what Asians go through in America or any other Western country. I'm Asian-American born in Texas in Dallas. My Asian friends and I all had similar experiences with racism growing up, from comments to even bullying. Don't act like racism doesn't happen as often in America, because it happens to Asians all the time. Doesn't matter where you grow up, it happens everywhere.
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