Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Jeweltone]

Oh come on, Rockland, "a life lived in fear is a life half lived."

Al Borland's Beard is right though - I actually don't care what the young whippersnappers say - let them try to keep up with me! Even as young woman, I preferred men at least ten years older.

To the OP - I did not mean to hijack your thread. I just wanted to offer another point of view to balance the overly negative posts. I have known many, many successful couples who have brought up their children overseas, if that is part of your plan. It puts a lot of pressure on you, but those who can do it come out stronger, and with some of the most AWESOME children I have ever met.

Embrace the adventure. Think of it as a parallel shift, rather than a shift up (or down). "Life is a banquet...and most poor suckers are starving to death!"

[Rockhard]

Why not, I'm bored.

[Rockhard]

[Al Borland's Beard]

[Jongno2bucheon]

[Rockhard]

[Jeweltone]

Ok, guess I will just jump into the fray again.

Rockhard, even the Middle Eastern countries and East Asian are slowly starting to realize they are part of a world that has women who work. The INTERNATIONAL birth rate is declining rapidly- we are already seeing results in Japan and parts of Europe. Even the UN has taken note. The South American female immigrants, btw, are also beginning to limit how many children they have also.

How did I find this out? Therein lies the proof of what I say. One of my more advanced Middle Eastern men started doing research on Celibacy Syndrome and interviewing his married friends and relatives. Guess what? They are waiting to have children until later, and some of the married MEN, btw, are having a hard time convincing the women to go out and get a job! The other advanced student, from the same country, chose FGM as his topic. Even my Taiwanese male students have all said they will not get married until they are 30!

My point is that things are changing.

Rockhard, in spite of your mudslinging at me and my geriatric eggs on walkers, I think you have made a few valid points.

I am no wild-eyed feminist - grew up Fundamentalist Christian actually - and I think many modern American women have taken things too far and become too masculine in many ways. The public and private sphere of our lives is so mixed up these days. The women I most admire are the women who give their best effort to their job in public, but are sweet and loving at home. There is honor in childcare and housekeeping - which I did learn at a young age - and I think women who devalue these things are fooling themselves. No one, man or woman, wants to come home to a harpy.

That said, I am glad I did not marry young because that choice would have made me miserable. I never wanted a picket fence life, and I have gotten my wish, albeit in ways I could have never imagined! The adventure is far from over, so I will not sit and "shudder in some corner." My path chose me, as it often does, and I can either sit down and say "Not gonna do it!" or get up and see where it will lead me.

I am not delusional as you seem to think, and I never was a "child." I think I will find my "Prince" someday - even if his armor is a little scratched and dented. Perhaps he will have children already, or we will adopt. Who knows?

If not, that's ok too.

To the women, if there are any of you reading this forum, take courage. There is no shame in still wanting to have children and stay at home, nor is there shame in wanting to move halfway across the world. There is no shame in wanting to be rescued, nor is there shame in wanting to rescue. God, or fate, or destiny, will show you the path you need to walk when it is time.

My motto has always been, "Expect the best, but prepare for the worst."
(Yes, Rockhard, I love cheesy quotes, and use them in ESL classes frequently because my student like them too.)

I'm done. Peace out.

[Rockhard]

The problem isn't women working, women being equal, women having rights. The problem is women doing all of these things and forgetting about marriage and children until it's too late. If feminism can't find a way to reproduce its believers, it will go extinct, and so will Western liberalism.

Look at this map here: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/98/Population_growth_rate_world_2005-2010_UN.PNG

The blue and purple countries don't reproduce themselves and have to import people from the green and yellow countries. Well, the Congo, Uganda, Afghanistan, Jordan, Palestine, Nigeria, Burundi, etc...These places aren't exactly bastions of feminism are they? Or human rights or even science. And the people who come from there will bring their culture with them.

The alternative is Japan. Import no people. But they are on a path to extinction within a few hundred years.

I don't want to see a planet where the only surviving people are barbarians. I want to see one where people are enlightened.

And to get to that point we need to make changes to our culture. Like,
Not expect women to start careers at the same time as men. Females are most fertile from 18-23. A logical person would say this is also a good time to have a baby. Why not graduate high school, get married, have a couple kids, then go to university, then start a career. We live a tremendously long time now and don't retire until we are 70. We have decades for a career. What's the rush? Even if a woman started her career at 35, that's still 35 years left for a career. That's a huge amount of time. They wouldn't have to interrupt their career for children because they already did that.
Stop denigrating motherhood
Stop lying to women about their fertility
Women today have this ridiculous view that they will be fertile well into their 40s and that their risk of having a genetically defective child is low. We need to stop with the lies. All of my sisters are nurses. They know the deal. They had children before they were 30.

[Al Borland's Beard]

[brownwc]

Jewel, absolutely love your attitude. I wish nothing but the best for you.

Rockhard, while I agree with your position that modern society sorely underappreciates the virtues of motherhood and "homemaker-hood", I think your message of doom for women over 35 who aspire to be wives and/or mothers is exaggerated. My mom had me, her first child, when she was 38, and that was in 1986-- how much more do you think is possible now due to advances in medical technology since then? Of course there's no getting around the fact that risk for infertility and birth defects is elevated for women who wait until they're that age, but they're hardly certainties or even the most likely possibilities.

[Rockhard]

There is no magic bullet for fertility. The "modern" technology you speak of is using a younger woman's eggs. Hardly desirable to carry another woman's baby.

And having a child with MS, autism, or Down's is devastating to a family and to the country's health care system that has to pay for them.

28,333 babies per month are born with Down's Syndrome in the US.
Incidence risk of Down syndrome increases with mother's age
Less than 1-in-1,000 risk of Down syndrome for women under 30
About 1-in-25 risk of Down syndrome for a 45-year-old mother

Older mothers means more of the population will have Down's, meaning a weaker labor force, and more public resources going towards sustaining children that shouldn't have been born in the first place if their mothers had been more responsible.

[Old fat expat]

[Jongno2bucheon]

[Rockhard]

[Al Borland's Beard]