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Newbie
Joined: 07 Feb 2003
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 Posted: Wed Jul 30, 2014 6:13 am Post subject: |
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| Captain Corea wrote: |
My point was - you wake up in the middle of a night to a scream from your wife/girl. You see a guy standing over you bed look at you - you don't know what transpired to make that scream. As well, what if he only touched her toe? Tapped her leg to ask a question?
Again, there's a certain amount of emotion attached to a person "invading" your home. You draw the line at a touch - that's it's then ok to assault him. I draw it at being in my room late at night. In both scenarios, the stranger has committed a crime. For me, the question then becomes - what is the state of mind, and the relative safety, of the victim?
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Ok, so for me... if I wake up to my wife screaming my immediate reaction is "What, What happened?" If I hear "There's some guy in our room" then I don't start throwing punches. I grab him/yell at him/aski him what the F he's doing, and go from there (if he seems lost and or confused, I just subdue him. If it seems like I've caught him about to be inappropriate, I subdue him very forcefully). If my wife responds with, "He's on top of me / he's groping me" or muffled sounds like her mouth is being blocked then I go and try to kick some ass.
When I initially used "touch" I meant touch in an inappropriate way. Not a tap on the toe or nudge on the leg like you've interpreted it as. (I should have been more clear.) For all we know, that's a drunk guy, a sleep walker, a guy with mental issues who's in the wrong place. THAT guy does not deserve a beating.
Now, of course this is all well and good as I sit peacefully in front of my computer. IF the situation every actually happened, who knows, maybe I don't have time to think so rationally and I go all Captain Corea and beat first, ask question second. (that's not supposed to sound like an insult, just a friendly hahaha) |
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Chaparrastique
Joined: 01 Jan 2014
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| Posted: Wed Jul 30, 2014 6:57 am Post subject: |
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| OP wrote: |
| I feel like I acted totally "beta". |
Sounds like you're more interested in following some western "alpha male" code than doing what the situation actually requires. |
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greatunknown
Joined: 04 Feb 2010
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| Posted: Wed Jul 30, 2014 9:00 am Post subject: |
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| Chaparrastique wrote: |
| OP wrote: |
| I feel like I acted totally "beta". |
Sounds like you're more interested in following some western "alpha male" code than doing what the situation actually requires. |
What makes you assume that? Because I used the term "beta"? Its a term i learned from lurking these forums. Do you think I over reacted to the situation as described? If so than, what would you have done?
I get the impression you have no idea what this thread is about... |
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kimchi_pizza
Joined: 24 Jul 2006
Location: "Get back on the bus! Here it comes!"
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| Posted: Thu Jul 31, 2014 3:34 am Post subject: |
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Talk about crazy situations~
Here's one that occurred this past June~
On a road trip visiting old friends and old battlegrounds when I was completely
exhausted and stopped in Hoengsong for the night, but no hotel rooms available due to a Taekwondo tourny going on in town. Upset and tired, I drive further north on some remote road and find a remote hotel and think "YES!" and manage to find a good room at great rates for a weekend stay. About midnight I kept hearing this odd, "ZAP...Zapzap..Zap...zapzapzap" continuously outside and knew sleep was out of the question so I ventured out to see what was going on. On the front north corner of the building there
was this huge white globe light and next to it, a huge blue bug zapper light thingy. I look around the next corner of the hotel and then I see a huge oil drum emitting flames two feet high and again, "What in the world...." So I approach the fire belching drum and THEN I hear this very light female voice, "aaaWOOOooooo.....AAAaaaWWWooooo...." and at this point I wonder if I'm in the twilight zine.
I look to see where the wolf howls are coming from and see a young girl with face pressed from the inside of a window screen going, "AaaaWWOOOO~~" Then sees me, freezes and disappears. A few seconds later a Korean man emerges from the depth of night in the back and walks up to me. With a cautious smile he says, "Hello~" an I reply back in Korean.
He then asks if I have a room there and answer in the affirmative and I
sheepishly state my reasons for being out so late to which he clarifies for me:
The hotel is owned and run by him and his wife who are my age. He was an interior designer, similar to my wife's profession. Then explains that the white light/bug zapper was set up to draw insects away from the guests
and zap them. "Cool", I thought still scratching my head.... The oil drum was him outside burning his garbage which strangely enough didn't churn out any noxious smells, but simply bright as all get out. And the young
voice of wolf calls, was his young daughter who thought to scare his father burning the midnight garbage but scared the bejezzus out of me instead!
After that was cleared up, he offered me a seat and beer, sat around the burning oil drum drinking Hite and brought out his two teenage daughters that had a good
grasp of English and chatted for a good hour....
Talk about 'crazy'~~ wow...but good fun and best part of this summer's excursion.
A good story? But ABSOLUTELY true~~~
Wow~~ |
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radcon
Joined: 23 May 2011
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| Posted: Thu Jul 31, 2014 4:39 am Post subject: |
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| kimchi_pizza wrote: |
Talk about crazy situations~
Here's one that occurred this past June~
On a road trip visiting old friends and old battlegrounds when I was completely
exhausted and stopped in Hoengsong for the night, but no hotel rooms available due to a Taekwondo tourny going on in town. Upset and tired, I drive further north on some remote road and find a remote hotel and think "YES!" and manage to find a good room at great rates for a weekend stay. About midnight I kept hearing this odd, "ZAP...Zapzap..Zap...zapzapzap" continuously outside and knew sleep was out of the question so I ventured out to see what was going on. On the front north corner of the building there
was this huge white globe light and next to it, a huge blue bug zapper light thingy. I look around the next corner of the hotel and then I see a huge oil drum emitting flames two feet high and again, "What in the world...." So I approach the fire belching drum and THEN I hear this very light female voice, "aaaWOOOooooo.....AAAaaaWWWooooo...." and at this point I wonder if I'm in the twilight zine.
I look to see where the wolf howls are coming from and see a young girl with face pressed from the inside of a window screen going, "AaaaWWOOOO~~" Then sees me, freezes and disappears. A few seconds later a Korean man emerges from the depth of night in the back and walks up to me. With a cautious smile he says, "Hello~" an I reply back in Korean.
He then asks if I have a room there and answer in the affirmative and I
sheepishly state my reasons for being out so late to which he clarifies for me:
The hotel is owned and run by him and his wife who are my age. He was an interior designer, similar to my wife's profession. Then explains that the white light/bug zapper was set up to draw insects away from the guests
and zap them. "Cool", I thought still scratching my head.... The oil drum was him outside burning his garbage which strangely enough didn't churn out any noxious smells, but simply bright as all get out. And the young
voice of wolf calls, was his young daughter who thought to scare his father burning the midnight garbage but scared the bejezzus out of me instead!
After that was cleared up, he offered me a seat and beer, sat around the burning oil drum drinking Hite and brought out his two teenage daughters that had a good
grasp of English and chatted for a good hour....
Talk about 'crazy'~~ wow...but good fun and best part of this summer's excursion.
A good story? But ABSOLUTELY true~~~
Wow~~ |
You are such a beta. You should have beat the crap out of that little girl for making wolf noises and scaring you. |
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kimchi_pizza
Joined: 24 Jul 2006
Location: "Get back on the bus! Here it comes!"
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| Posted: Thu Jul 31, 2014 4:55 am Post subject: |
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| radcon wrote: |
| kimchi_pizza wrote: |
Talk about crazy situations~
Here's one that occurred this past June~
On a road trip visiting old friends and old battlegrounds when I was completely
exhausted and stopped in Hoengsong for the night, but no hotel rooms available due to a Taekwondo tourny going on in town. Upset and tired, I drive further north on some remote road and find a remote hotel and think "YES!" and manage to find a good room at great rates for a weekend stay. About midnight I kept hearing this odd, "ZAP...Zapzap..Zap...zapzapzap" continuously outside and knew sleep was out of the question so I ventured out to see what was going on. On the front north corner of the building there
was this huge white globe light and next to it, a huge blue bug zapper light thingy. I look around the next corner of the hotel and then I see a huge oil drum emitting flames two feet high and again, "What in the world...." So I approach the fire belching drum and THEN I hear this very light female voice, "aaaWOOOooooo.....AAAaaaWWWooooo...." and at this point I wonder if I'm in the twilight zine.
I look to see where the wolf howls are coming from and see a young girl with face pressed from the inside of a window screen going, "AaaaWWOOOO~~" Then sees me, freezes and disappears. A few seconds later a Korean man emerges from the depth of night in the back and walks up to me. With a cautious smile he says, "Hello~" an I reply back in Korean.
He then asks if I have a room there and answer in the affirmative and I
sheepishly state my reasons for being out so late to which he clarifies for me:
The hotel is owned and run by him and his wife who are my age. He was an interior designer, similar to my wife's profession. Then explains that the white light/bug zapper was set up to draw insects away from the guests
and zap them. "Cool", I thought still scratching my head.... The oil drum was him outside burning his garbage which strangely enough didn't churn out any noxious smells, but simply bright as all get out. And the young
voice of wolf calls, was his young daughter who thought to scare his father burning the midnight garbage but scared the bejezzus out of me instead!
After that was cleared up, he offered me a seat and beer, sat around the burning oil drum drinking Hite and brought out his two teenage daughters that had a good
grasp of English and chatted for a good hour....
Talk about 'crazy'~~ wow...but good fun and best part of this summer's excursion.
A good story? But ABSOLUTELY true~~~
Wow~~ |
You are such a beta. You should have beat the crap out of that little girl for making wolf noises and scaring you. |
A 'beta', huh? That's pretty good! I like it! Where did you regurgitate such a term from? Like a pup eating vomit~ cute, horrific and youtube
worthy all at the same time! |
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Sector7G
Joined: 24 May 2008
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| Posted: Thu Jul 31, 2014 5:00 am Post subject: |
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| radcon wrote: |
| kimchi_pizza wrote: |
Talk about crazy situations~
Talk about 'crazy'~~ wow...but good fun and best part of this summer's excursion.
A good story? But ABSOLUTELY true~~~
Wow~~ |
You are such a beta. You should have beat the crap out of that little girl for making wolf noises and scaring you. |
Now that was funny!!! I mean laugh out loud funny! Good one radcon!
And kimchi, I don't know, maybe you are just having a laugh, but if you really think your story qualifies as "crazy", well, you must not get out much. |
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kimchi_pizza
Joined: 24 Jul 2006
Location: "Get back on the bus! Here it comes!"
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| Posted: Thu Jul 31, 2014 5:20 am Post subject: |
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It's a simple story. Shread it or share as you please. As for 'getting out
much', you have no idea and won't feed trolls. I'm not easily baited~
I will share this tidbit, I drive a 2002 Korando that is equipped with a U.S.
Army cot, 2.5" mat for comfort and a single mesh tent on top of that with
a Korean Naval wool blanket and a small Mickey Mouse pillow (epitome of
singular 'coolness') with MREs and water to last a month. THAT's how often
I get out. Did I mention the mounted GoPro on my dash and the areas I've
hiked and driven from one edge of this nation to the other? The wonders
I've discovered and still, even today, yet discover even more?
Damnit....looks like you baited me after all...well done~!
Take'er easy~! |
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Sector7G
Joined: 24 May 2008
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| Posted: Thu Jul 31, 2014 6:11 am Post subject: |
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| kimchi_pizza wrote: |
It's a simple story. Shread it or share as you please. As for 'getting out
much', you have no idea and won't feed trolls. I'm not easily baited~
I will share this tidbit, I drive a 2002 Korando that is equipped with a U.S.
Army cot, 2.5" mat for comfort and a single mesh tent on top of that with
a Korean Naval wool blanket and a small Mickey Mouse pillow (epitome of
singular 'coolness') with MREs and water to last a month. THAT's how often
I get out. Did I mention the mounted GoPro on my dash and the areas I've
hiked and driven from one edge of this nation to the other? The wonders
I've discovered and still, even today, yet discover even more?
Damnit....looks like you baited me after all...well done~!
Take'er easy~! |
How you uh, how you comin' on that novel you're working on? Huh? Gotta a big, uh, big stack of papers there? Gotta nice little story you're working on there? Your big novel you've been working on since you've been in Korea? Huh? Gotta compelling protaganist? Yeah? Gotta obstacle for him to overcome? Huh? Gotta story brewing there? Nice little narrative? Beginning, middle, and end? Some friends become enemies, some enemies become friends? At the end your main character is richer from the experience? Yeah? Yeah? Make those second hundred pages really keep the reader guessing what's going to happen? Some twists and turns? A little epilogue? Everybody learns that the hero's journey isn't always a happy one? Oh, I look forward to reading it.  |
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kimchi_pizza
Joined: 24 Jul 2006
Location: "Get back on the bus! Here it comes!"
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| Posted: Thu Jul 31, 2014 7:33 am Post subject: |
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| Sector7G wrote: |
| kimchi_pizza wrote: |
It's a simple story. Shread it or share as you please. As for 'getting out
much', you have no idea and won't feed trolls. I'm not easily baited~
I will share this tidbit, I drive a 2002 Korando that is equipped with a U.S.
Army cot, 2.5" mat for comfort and a single mesh tent on top of that with
a Korean Naval wool blanket and a small Mickey Mouse pillow (epitome of
singular 'coolness') with MREs and water to last a month. THAT's how often
I get out. Did I mention the mounted GoPro on my dash and the areas I've
hiked and driven from one edge of this nation to the other? The wonders
I've discovered and still, even today, yet discover even more?
Damnit....looks like you baited me after all...well done~!
Take'er easy~! |
How you uh, how you comin' on that novel you're working on? Huh? Gotta a big, uh, big stack of papers there? Gotta nice little story you're working on there? Your big novel you've been working on since you've been in Korea? Huh? Gotta compelling protaganist? Yeah? Gotta obstacle for him to overcome? Huh? Gotta story brewing there? Nice little narrative? Beginning, middle, and end? Some friends become enemies, some enemies become friends? At the end your main character is richer from the experience? Yeah? Yeah? Make those second hundred pages really keep the reader guessing what's going to happen? Some twists and turns? A little epilogue? Everybody learns that the hero's journey isn't always a happy one? Oh, I look forward to reading it. |
I had a whole argument written out. A fantastic piece! AND deleted it.
You are the best of the best of the best. Congrats my man~! You win. |
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Mix1
Joined: 08 May 2007
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| Posted: Thu Jul 31, 2014 7:33 pm Post subject: |
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| Captain Corea wrote: |
He said 'sorry' after he was caught - WTF was he doing BEFORE he was caught? How long was he standing there for? What were his intentions??
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Exactly. This part was never determined, was it? This is maybe why the OP has some doubts about his reactions.
Very sketchy either way.
It could have been an accident to enter the wrong room, or it could have been something else entirely.
People sometimes say sorry AFTER they see they are outmatched or are caught in the act for something. Doesn't automatically make the guy innocent.
He said 'sorry' AFTER he sees he's facing a large guy, but what if that were not the case? Or what if a girl was alone in the room at the time?
My girlfriend and some of her female friends were at a pension hotel, and a group of drunk guys in the next room tried to open their door in the middle of the night, after they had declined to drink with them. Luckily the guys gave up when the door was locked, and didn't try any of the windows.
And I also knew someone who got raped by a random guy that entered their room at night.
So... there is plenty of reason to think a guy sneaking in through the window in the middle of the night is up to no good, and he got off extremely lucky NOT getting a beating just for being in there. And that's IF his intentions were completely innocent or accidental, which is uncertain.
You wake up to find a stranger standing in your room. That's an instant fight or flight reaction.
Get him before he gets you ...is likely the first thought or reaction for many people.
...NOT the finer details of Korean laws, or how to subdue the guy without hurting him too much (which is almost impossible in many situations, even if you have advanced grappling training.)
Luckily, everything turned out ok, relatively speaking. |
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radcon
Joined: 23 May 2011
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TheMeerkatLover
Joined: 26 Mar 2009
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| Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2014 4:09 am Post subject: |
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You've tried to minimize the negative factors while trying to play up the benefits of being non-confrontational AFTER the fact.
I will put this very simply for you (Captain Corea had it right).
You and your family were in a very potentially dangerous situation. A stranger in your room alone at night standing over you.
This is an extremely unnerving situation and any individual who is capable and willing to protect his family would have dropped him first (consequences be damned...your first duty is to your family)!
Not only did you not drop the guy, you let him walk out. Even worse, you OPENED the door again to him.
Legally, you probably did the smartest thing. As the primary protector of your family, when the risks are very high and immediate action should be followed, you failed. You failed at protecting your family and you are quite simply a coward.
You are not a beta male, you are an Delta-male at best.
Don't expect your wife to forget this. Women instinctually look for protection from their husbands in extreme moments of danger and stress. You didn't provide that. You took the path of the weak and has tried to justify it by using laws and realities after the fact.
Now that she knows what you are REALLY like in a crisis, I would be extremely surprised is this is not the real seed that will eventually lead to your separation/divorce as she reflects on this over time. |
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Old Painless
Joined: 01 Jan 2014
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| Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2014 5:09 am Post subject: |
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| Ya. Women want to be protected, and know the man that they're with is going to take care of them. Unless they're dykes at heart, then the whole dynamic changes. Of course. The least he could have done is to humiliate the lad in front of his mate, that at least would have shown some initiative. |
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Stain
Joined: 08 Jan 2014
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| Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2014 6:27 am Post subject: |
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| TheMeerkatLover wrote: |
You've tried to minimize the negative factors while trying to play up the benefits of being non-confrontational AFTER the fact.
I will put this very simply for you (Captain Corea had it right).
You and your family were in a very potentially dangerous situation. A stranger in your room alone at night standing over you.
This is an extremely unnerving situation and any individual who is capable and willing to protect his family would have dropped him first (consequences be damned...your first duty is to your family)!
Not only did you not drop the guy, you let him walk out. Even worse, you OPENED the door again to him.
Legally, you probably did the smartest thing. As the primary protector of your family, when the risks are very high and immediate action should be followed, you failed. You failed at protecting your family and you are quite simply a coward.
You are not a beta male, you are an Delta-male at best.
Don't expect your wife to forget this. Women instinctually look for protection from their husbands in extreme moments of danger and stress. You didn't provide that. You took the path of the weak and has tried to justify it by using laws and realities after the fact.
Now that she knows what you are REALLY like in a crisis, I would be extremely surprised is this is not the real seed that will eventually lead to your separation/divorce as she reflects on this over time. |
It depends on how much money he makes as to whether his wife will forget this or not. Because, let's face it, that is requirement No.1. |
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