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"Korean men don't save money before marriage"
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basic69isokay



Joined: 28 Sep 2014
Location: korea

PostPosted: Sun Dec 07, 2014 4:00 am    Post subject: "Korean men don't save money before marriage" Reply with quote

In my adults class, the ajummas openly complained about this.
Now, in the West, most women would not openly say this stuff for fear of being anti-feminist. But they are curious just the same. That's why men get asked "what do you do?" before "What's your name?"
Anyway, these women had no qualms about it. The men should provide and they don't save enough before marriage!!! However, in my personal experiences,almost all (if not all) of my Korean friends' parents just slapped down jonsae money or bought them a house. It's like clockwork. So, why should they? Seems very few young Koreans have any money, period. But yea, so that basically means that we're back to feudalism here because at least the man's family should be semi-wealthy. Just add this to the list of reasons I'd really hate to be Korean!
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wooden nickels



Joined: 23 May 2010

PostPosted: Sun Dec 07, 2014 5:07 am    Post subject: Re: "Korean men don't save money before marriage" Reply with quote

basic69isokay wrote:
In my adults class, the ajummas openly complained about this.
Now, in the West, most women would not openly say this stuff for fear of being anti-feminist. But they are curious just the same. That's why men get asked "what do you do?" before "What's your name?"
Anyway, these women had no qualms about it. The men should provide and they don't save enough before marriage!!! However, in my personal experiences,almost all (if not all) of my Korean friends' parents just slapped down jonsae money or bought them a house. It's like clockwork. So, why should they? Seems very few young Koreans have any money, period. But yea, so that basically means that we're back to feudalism here because at least the man's family should be semi-wealthy. Just add this to the list of reasons I'd really hate to be Korean!


Of my 5 closest Korean male friends, who are married, 4 of them either had jonsae put down by their parents or their home was outright purchased by their parents.

One of the men recently purchased a home for 330,000,000 won. He used the jonsae of 180,000,000 won his parents had given him for his previous home as a down payment. A lot of /// little emperor /// going on here.
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isitts



Joined: 25 Dec 2008
Location: Korea

PostPosted: Sun Dec 07, 2014 5:39 am    Post subject: Re: "Korean men don't save money before marriage" Reply with quote

basic69isokay wrote:
In my adults class, the ajummas openly complained about this.
... The men should provide and they don't save enough before marriage!!!

And how would they propose a man have much saved when everyone here feels the need to be married in their early to mid twenties? (Not that there's anything wrong with being married then...Just, times being what they are.)

basic69isokay wrote:
Now, in the West, most women would not openly say this stuff for fear of being anti-feminist. But they are curious just the same. That's why men get asked "what do you do?" before "What's your name?

But it translates the same. It doesn't matter what feminism has done for women, they still expect men to have a good job, money, prospects, etc....even when they have nothing to contribute themselves, monetarily or otherwise.
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wooden nickels



Joined: 23 May 2010

PostPosted: Sun Dec 07, 2014 5:53 am    Post subject: Re: "Korean men don't save money before marriage" Reply with quote

isitts wrote:
basic69isokay wrote:
In my adults class, the ajummas openly complained about this.
... The men should provide and they don't save enough before marriage!!!

And how would they propose a man have much saved when everyone here feels the need to be married in their early to mid twenties? (Not that there's anything wrong with being married then...Just, times being what they are.)

basic69isokay wrote:
Now, in the West, most women would not openly say this stuff for fear of being anti-feminist. But they are curious just the same. That's why men get asked "what do you do?" before "What's your name?

But it translates the same. It doesn't matter what feminism has done for women, they still expect men to have a good job, money, prospects, etc....even when they have nothing to contribute themselves, monetarily or otherwise.


I believe men aren't expected to be getting married until around the age of 30. Most men have finished university and their military duty around the age of 27. However, most stay at home until they are married, be it the age of 30 or 35. That gives them some time to save considering most don't have debt or any real expenses. Usually, the women is expected to by the appliances and furnishings for the home.
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Mix1



Joined: 08 May 2007

PostPosted: Sun Dec 07, 2014 9:16 am    Post subject: Re: "Korean men don't save money before marriage" Reply with quote

basic69isokay wrote:
In my adults class, the ajummas openly complained about this.

Well... sure they did.
They are very open about wanting more money and getting the best marriage deal possible. Most western ladies just wouldn't be that open about it as to not appear materialistic.

Luckily in Korea, many often get a ton of stuff paid for by the parents when they marry: free house, free furnishings, honeymoon, etc.
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Who's Your Daddy?



Joined: 30 May 2010
Location: Victoria, Canada.

PostPosted: Sun Dec 07, 2014 9:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think the starting salaries for university graduates are really low. So it is pretty hard to save.
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Steelrails



Joined: 12 Mar 2009
Location: Earth, Solar System

PostPosted: Sun Dec 07, 2014 9:56 am    Post subject: Re: "Korean men don't save money before marriage" Reply with quote

wooden nickels wrote:


One of the men recently purchased a home for 330,000,000 won. He used the jonsae of 180,000,000 won his parents had given him for his previous home as a down payment. A lot of /// little emperor /// going on here.


One thing people should bear in mind, is that living at home in a Korean family, you often earn your keep. "Little Emperor" is working until 2AM at mom's noodle joint or chicken shack and making deliveries or having to rub grandma's feet and go fetch her barley tea from the store.

Not to mention, as someone pointed out, these ajummas aren't thinking to straight- "I want him to go to college and then graduate school overseas and when he gets out of military to get married and have the money to pay for a house".

Also, I wonder how much of that is 2-300,000,000 won is in actually straight cash from the parents vs. say, a down payment of considerably less+loan/mortgage cosigned by the parent.
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misher



Joined: 14 Oct 2008

PostPosted: Sun Dec 07, 2014 11:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
But it translates the same. It doesn't matter what feminism has done for women, they still expect men to have a good job, money, prospects, etc....even when they have nothing to contribute themselves, monetarily or otherwise.


Yes, except in my experience, the women back him that expect good job prospects etc. are USUALLY bringing something to the table themselves. Ie, they have tenured government jobs, are managers in companies, health care professionals etc. It's rare to meet a hair stylist that will only date guys making 6 figures. A lot of it has to do with education level.

In Korea you have a lot of women that do nothing and expect a guy to just take care of it. I'm not talking about the resourceful K-women of the previous decade. Those kinds, especially in Seoul are a dying breed. Granted there there are hard working women of this generation as a few of the guys I know who married Korean women will attest. However, I saw more of girls who float through university, get some office lady job paying 1.6M won a year with little mobility, blow their money on trips and shopping, pay no living expenses as they live with their parents, and THEN expect a Prince Han Charming to come along so they can quit their jobs and become comfortable. This is one of the reasons why I couldn't marry a Korean woman. I don't want to be on the hook to just "take care of everything." It takes 2 now to work and provide if you want your kids to have opportunities.

I feel badly for Korean guys. I really do. The gender imbalance for this generation is worse than China and a lot of expectations are put on them to earn when the job market is abysmal.
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basic69isokay



Joined: 28 Sep 2014
Location: korea

PostPosted: Sun Dec 07, 2014 7:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The army service definitely sucks.
College plus army, you're suddenly 26 with no job experience.
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Lucas



Joined: 11 Sep 2012

PostPosted: Sun Dec 07, 2014 11:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
The army service definitely sucks.
College plus army, you're suddenly 26 with no job experience.


You don't need job experience. You just do as Mr Kim says!
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motiontodismiss



Joined: 18 Dec 2011

PostPosted: Mon Dec 08, 2014 2:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

basic69isokay wrote:
The army service definitely sucks.
College plus army, you're suddenly 26 with no job experience.


26 with no work experience and 30 million won in debt. And unable to get a job because you have no experience.

And the ajummas expect the guy to have more money than their daughter??!?!? Their daughter had two more years at least to make money. Rolling Eyes
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candy bar



Joined: 03 Dec 2012

PostPosted: Mon Dec 08, 2014 4:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Most Korean guys and Gyopos, and I do mean most, are slackers until they reach 30 years of age, some it even takes longer. I have know many Korean dudes that have never had a job until 30. Their moms clean their rooms, cook their food, wash their clothes, etc,. Their parents have paid everything plus provide them with pocket money. Real slackers!

Once Korean guys and Gyopos become married, the parents must provide them with a home and the wife should furnish it. Then, the wife has to keep up the home and usually has a job outside of the home. Real slackers these guys are!
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Mix1



Joined: 08 May 2007

PostPosted: Mon Dec 08, 2014 6:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

misher wrote:

However, I saw more of girls who float through university, get some office lady job paying 1.6M won a year with little mobility, blow their money on trips and shopping, pay no living expenses as they live with their parents, and THEN expect a Prince Han Charming to come along so they can quit their jobs and become comfortable.

That's funny and so true. I've dated a few like this and would usually dump them as they were not the type I wanted to get wrapped up with in a serious relationship. These types were totally spoiled by mommy and daddy and would go on elaborate "study" trips with the parents money and buy all kinds of crap. They had no house chores and had the attitude that they really didn't have to do anything in life but travel, marry and have some kids. I agree it's partly generational; many of those girls can't cook at all, have no idea how to clean a house, and have zero work ethic. They constantly want trips and new things bought for them, and won't work a serious job to pay for all of it. Avoid these types, even if they look good.
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Mix1



Joined: 08 May 2007

PostPosted: Mon Dec 08, 2014 6:33 am    Post subject: Re: "Korean men don't save money before marriage" Reply with quote

Steelrails wrote:

One thing people should bear in mind, is that living at home in a Korean family, you often earn your keep. "Little Emperor" is working until 2AM at mom's noodle joint or chicken shack and making deliveries or having to rub grandma's feet and go fetch her barley tea from the store.

No, "Little Emperor" is the spoiled kid who never had to do any chores or cook, buy anything with his own money, or work any job until 30, was given his car, then got his first house completely paid for by his parents when he married. He thinks he's the sh*t but he didn't earn any of it himself. That's "Little Emperor" ...and there sure seem to be a lot of them in Korea, or at least in Seoul: rich brats with Emperor/princess complexes.

Your scenario might be true in certain lower working class situations, but I don't think it's all that common. Mostly they seem to treat the kids as little emperors who get free rides until 30ish.
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Weigookin74



Joined: 26 Oct 2009

PostPosted: Mon Dec 08, 2014 3:41 pm    Post subject: Re: "Korean men don't save money before marriage" Reply with quote

wooden nickels wrote:
basic69isokay wrote:
In my adults class, the ajummas openly complained about this.
Now, in the West, most women would not openly say this stuff for fear of being anti-feminist. But they are curious just the same. That's why men get asked "what do you do?" before "What's your name?"
Anyway, these women had no qualms about it. The men should provide and they don't save enough before marriage!!! However, in my personal experiences,almost all (if not all) of my Korean friends' parents just slapped down jonsae money or bought them a house. It's like clockwork. So, why should they? Seems very few young Koreans have any money, period. But yea, so that basically means that we're back to feudalism here because at least the man's family should be semi-wealthy. Just add this to the list of reasons I'd really hate to be Korean!


Of my 5 closest Korean male friends, who are married, 4 of them either had jonsae put down by their parents or their home was outright purchased by their parents.

One of the men recently purchased a home for 330,000,000 won. He used the jonsae of 180,000,000 won his parents had given him for his previous home as a down payment. A lot of /// little emperor /// going on here.


So, does it mean a foreign man getting married here is screwed?
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