Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Roman Holiday]

Let the frame wars begin.

Now in Seoul, where the weather is cold, and the people are colder.... if you let them be.

To a westerner, the manners of this country seem a bit barbarian- overly formal and framed within an authoritarian structure.
In all my interactions I will have to overcome this with a charm offensive. The trick here I think is to combe formality with friendliness-
If you are not initially polite, it's likely you'll be kept at bay as the odd foreigner. But use your manners as a Trojan horse and before you know it you'll have broken through the cold walls of formaility.
And then connect on friendly terms. Ask for favours; can you tell me what this lovely music is you're playing in the coffee shop? Can you help me with this computer in the PC rooms? Make friends, or what an ex-colleague called once 'social oases'.
I will now address these people as 'my friend'. and in so doing begin to socialize myself and humanize them.

[jcd]

you lost me at let the frame wars begin

[Stan Rogers]

A flame war? Your start was the equivalent of lighting up a fart.

[yodanole]

Barbarians usually have a lot of things going on. "Formality" is not usually thought of as one of them.

[Roman Holiday]

So I go into one of these multi-storied cafes they have here in Seoul. It really is quite an odd country at times. The 2nd floor seemed to be restricted to women, while only men were on the 3rd.
I asked a chap whether there was some nefarious rule of segregation at play. He said no, so I promptly took my coffee and joined the women downstairs. Sat down near a long-legged studious looking lady, and quickly asked whether i could borrow a pen and paper.
She was very attractive and open, so we continued talking for around 30 minutes. The cafe was quite stuffy, so I suggested going out for a meal [neither of us were that hungry, but a change of venue seemed important for some reason].
We ate Korean [actually lunch is awkward, you want to be talking and getting to know each-other, yet you have to continually stuff your mouth with food].
Not one lapse in conversation, and we were both in hysterical laughter at times- the whole conversation was in Korean. Was good for practice, but the brain got tired after a bit and was wishing we could speak English.
We left our half-eaten meal and wandered through the neighbourhood. It was time for her to meet her friend, and she asked me for my email. I do not have phone yet.

She was an amazingly beautiful woman, maybe 30, and was an artist specializing in oil painting. Will I see her again? I don't know, but even if I don't, that deep sparkling eye contact gave me a ton of confidence.
But more than that, it showed me that all this talk about Koreans being super conservative etc was just that. The reality is you need to own your situation, break through, communicate, and enliven the world you find yourself in.

[Roman Holiday]

[GJoeM]

Roman, you must be new to Korea and in your 20s...give it a few years...you'll get it.

[Roman Holiday]

[GJoeM]

[GJoeM]