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New manager sent me a FB request...
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chaz47



Joined: 11 Sep 2003

PostPosted: Wed Apr 01, 2015 6:30 am    Post subject: New manager sent me a FB request... Reply with quote

My hagwon is going through a split and the "new" manager is considering my terms for a new contract if I choose to stay with them when the split becomes official. I have 10 years of experience, 3 with this same company, so my terms were a bit high although, to be fair... I've not received a raise from them yet.

And, she just sent me a Facebook request.

Her English skills are so poor that she couldn't understand my resume which she recently asked for. So, jeez, I wonder why she wants to see my Facebook page.

She has no security on her page and apparently just uses it to post vacation pictures, "glamorous" salon visits, etc. I think, that seems to be the norm for Korean women in general though.

My general rule with Facebook is, unless I know the individual in person for a year or have some sort of professional interest with (not a hierarchical relationship) I will not approve them.

I don't post loads of weird stuff to my page so I'm not too worried. I post political stuff mainly, pro-legalization, pro-gay marriage, etc. But I have only known this woman for a week or two. And, I get the feeling they are looking for an excuse to weasel me in the next contract. You can call me negative... after a decade here I think I am right to be wary.

This is a delicate situation though. I don't want to seem like I'm hiding something. What would you do?
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tanklor1



Joined: 13 Jun 2006

PostPosted: Wed Apr 01, 2015 6:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Put them into a category that is heavily edited or just let the request set there. If they ask why you haven't accepted it, say you rarely go on it.
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World Traveler



Joined: 29 May 2009

PostPosted: Wed Apr 01, 2015 7:22 am    Post subject: Re: New manager sent me a FB request... Reply with quote

chaz47 wrote:
I don't post loads of weird stuff to my page so I'm not too worried. I post political stuff mainly, pro-legalization, pro-gay marriage, etc.

Most Koreans oppose legalization of marijuana and gay marriage. (Most Americans support it.) You're not in Kansas anymore. The ROK is significantly more conservative.
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Bongotruck



Joined: 19 Mar 2015

PostPosted: Wed Apr 01, 2015 3:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I do not add anyone I work with. Period. The end.
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northway



Joined: 05 Jul 2010

PostPosted: Wed Apr 01, 2015 4:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

There may be more to this than meets the eye. Is she cute?
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chaz47



Joined: 11 Sep 2003

PostPosted: Wed Apr 01, 2015 8:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

northway wrote:
There may be more to this than meets the eye. Is she cute?


Yes... and probably my age (late 30s).
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PigeonFart



Joined: 27 Apr 2006

PostPosted: Wed Apr 01, 2015 10:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote="Bongotruck"]I do not add anyone I work with. Period. The end.[/quote]

I agree, i think thats the best policy to have.

If you're worried the rejection will offend your boss, just do the korean face saving thing. Ignore the request and in the unlikely event you are asked about it, say you haven't checked it yet. Then continue to ignore the request.
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Underwaterbob



Joined: 08 Jan 2005
Location: In Cognito

PostPosted: Thu Apr 02, 2015 4:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Bongotruck wrote:
I do not add anyone I work with. Period. The end.


Good advice. I caved and added a student as a friend once and the floodgates opened and now I can't say anything on Facebook without a few hundred Korean middle schoolers and teachers seeing it. Which is fine by me since I only really use it to message a select few family and friends back in NA anyway.
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Smithington



Joined: 14 Dec 2011

PostPosted: Thu Apr 02, 2015 5:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm not on Facebook. No interest. Posting all the details of your life for others to see is an exercise in narcissism. Whatever happened to cherishing one's privacy?

I don't get the appeal.
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EZE



Joined: 05 May 2012

PostPosted: Fri Apr 03, 2015 6:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

chaz47 wrote:
northway wrote:
There may be more to this than meets the eye. Is she cute?


Yes... and probably my age (late 30s).


Sounds like the pros outweigh the cons. I'd add her, but not post anything snoopworthy....just privately messaging friends back home, things that don't matter at the professional level, etc.
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chaz47



Joined: 11 Sep 2003

PostPosted: Fri Apr 03, 2015 8:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Maybe I should add that it's a YBM franchise. I do have one middle school student, but his mom keeps him away from PCs unless it is for homework.

I dunno, she seems to be giving me a shy/sheepish look a lot when I do see her. Maybe I'll just wait until after the contract negotiation is done.
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northway



Joined: 05 Jul 2010

PostPosted: Sat Apr 04, 2015 3:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

EZE wrote:
chaz47 wrote:
northway wrote:
There may be more to this than meets the eye. Is she cute?


Yes... and probably my age (late 30s).


Sounds like the pros outweigh the cons. I'd add her, but not post anything snoopworthy....just privately messaging friends back home, things that don't matter at the professional level, etc.


Which is really how anyone over the age of twenty should be using Facebook anyway.
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greatunknown



Joined: 04 Feb 2010

PostPosted: Wed Apr 15, 2015 1:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Smithington wrote:
I'm not on Facebook. No interest. Posting all the details of your life for others to see is an exercise in narcissism. Whatever happened to cherishing one's privacy?

I don't get the appeal.


Are you serious when you say you dont see tbe appeal? Its pretty obviously meant to be a way to keep in touch with your friends and Family. Its an excellent way to meep yourself involved with certain people who you may let months go by without hearing from otherwise.

The thing I dont get is why anyone would even consider adding co-workers. I have about 50 people I am interested in keeping up to date with including family, relatives and close friends. Whats up with having 500 "friends"?
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schwa



Joined: 18 Jan 2003
Location: Yap

PostPosted: Wed Apr 15, 2015 3:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

greatunknown wrote:
Smithington wrote:
I'm not on Facebook. No interest. Posting all the details of your life for others to see is an exercise in narcissism. Whatever happened to cherishing one's privacy?

I don't get the appeal.

Are you serious when you say you dont see tbe appeal?

That "appeal" is what has suckered so many millions into surrendering control of their online presence to profit-driven corporations to who knows what ends. We've barely begun to see how a social network footprint, or especially one dumb misstep, might indelibly affect & impede our futures. Not to mention all the stupid directed advertising.

The "appeal" of being in constant update mode with 50 relatives & friends leaves me cold. Excuse me, I'm busy talking with someone in person.

If someone needs to contact me about something important, they know how.

A rare occasion I agree with Smithington.
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wooden nickels



Joined: 23 May 2010

PostPosted: Wed Apr 15, 2015 7:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

schwa wrote:
greatunknown wrote:
Smithington wrote:
I'm not on Facebook. No interest. Posting all the details of your life for others to see is an exercise in narcissism. Whatever happened to cherishing one's privacy?

I don't get the appeal.

Are you serious when you say you dont see tbe appeal?

That "appeal" is what has suckered so many millions into surrendering control of their online presence to profit-driven corporations to who knows what ends. We've barely begun to see how a social network footprint, or especially one dumb misstep, might indelibly affect & impede our futures. Not to mention all the stupid directed advertising.

The "appeal" of being in constant update mode with 50 relatives & friends leaves me cold. Excuse me, I'm busy talking with someone in person.

If someone needs to contact me about something important, they know how.

A rare occasion I agree with Smithington.


+ 1 schwa and smithington
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