Korean Job Discussion Forums

[UKKOR]

Going to get this off my chest. So today (Sunday at 2pm) I was waiting at a bus stop. Everyone at the bus stop was facing the road, just looking at cars, when the bus is coming etc, but this ajushi, kept staring at my body and face.

He was so close to me and what made me uncomfortable was that everyone was all standing facing the traffic and only he was in front of me, just facing the opposite direction to everyone else and scanning his head up and down my body and staring at my face.

At first I thought I was just imagining it but then when I moved to the left, his head followed. This continued for 10 minutes. I thought 와~어이없다~~ are you literally being serious? I'm not one of those wimpy girls who are like, oh no, oh no~. I laughed out loud and rolled my eyes, thinking is this for real? But whatever.

I'm not the kind to flip out so I thought, hmm, I wonder what I could do to make him stop as passive-aggressively as possible? So I leaned on my middle finger so that I was smiling and putting my middle finger on my face directly at him while I stared at his leg. See how you like it.

He continues to stare at my chest, legs and face. Remember he is deliberately facing toward me, while everyone else is facing the traffic. He is not looking at anything else, just my face and body. Not breaking a second eye contact from my body.

I make my middle finger really obvious and open my eyes really wide and grin like a lunatic because at this point I want to look like a fucking crazy revenge seeking Japanese ring girl bitch. So I then try to embarrass him.

I turn around as to be trying to look at what he is looking at. I pretend that I have only just noticed he is staring at me and innocently mistook it for him staring at something behind me. This does nothing so I take it up a notch and face him directly. I OPEN MY EYES REALLY FUCKING PSYCHO BIG AND STARE AT HIS MOTHER FUCKING STARING PERVERTED FACE AND I DONT BREAK EYE CONTACT. You think I'm going to ignore you and pretend I don't see you peeving on me you son of a bitch??

Then he continues to stare at me. I stare at him. My bus comes so I'm thinking, eh *beep* him, I'm off. The I see him as I turn and walk towards the bus, he does not break eye contact and follows me to the bus. Well, unlucky for him, I'm the kind of girl that do wierd things without batting an eyelid, so then.... As I walk towards the bus and he follows me, I moonwalk backwards in the middle of the street and I jump on to the bus BEFORE the bus I was going to go on.

As I beep my card I see him looking at me through the window like, wtf happened.

I've been trying to forget about this horrible experience but I feel like if I vent I will feel better and also please can you give me some advice on how to deal with this better. I've searched online and I can't find anything apart from 'ignore him' or 'walk away'.

Nooninonono. I'm a vengeful bitch and any man that pervs or creeps on me or anyone else I will humiliate them. I'm thinking next time I will open my eyes really wide, smile reaaaalllyy wide and stare at his *beep* and whisper 변태...변태...meaning pervert again and again and again.

Or I will take out my phone and video him staring and casually say oh keep looking, don't worry, this is going online, go on keep looking, go on.

Sorry for the long post but this was my first time with a FULL on perv, and I want to be ready for next time, because girls, summer is coming and that's when the pervs come out to play.

This is the face I'm planning to make in the future

http://media.animevice.com/uploads/0/2262/171436-death_note_desu_noto_death_note_09_01_2008_17_06_2006_16_g.jpg
[img][/img]

EDIT: Thank you so much for your comments, made me calm down. Also I AM KOREAN. He wasnt staring at me because I was white/ black etc, he was staring at me because he is a disgusting joke of a human being.

[Plain Meaning]

If there is a suitable or satisfying solution to this kind of situation, I am unaware of it.

Its kind of a no-win scenario, and at least you managed to express your discontent without escalating the situation.

[Jake_Kim]

Any suspicious behavior in public domain had better be dealt with recording a video for evidence. Acts of perversion could vary from one situation to another, but when you have to call in the police, simply repeating what you witnessed to officers doesn't count much unless you go to a trial and repeat the same thing under an oath as a witness. Visual evidence speaks for itself.

[duhweecher]

If you speak Korean and look foreign (i.e. non-Korean), I would recommend that you call someone or even fake talking to someone on the phone in Korean.

I've found that when foreigners talk on the phone in Korean, the perves usually back up a bit or at least reconsider their behavior.

I wouldn't recommend staring back at a potential rapist or encouraging such a person in any way--especially if you are traveling alone.

[tanklor1]

[ToySurprise]

OP,

You got away from him effectively. I'd say that is a great way to deal with anyone like that who stares in such an obviously aggressive manner.

However, I would guess that giving a person like that too much attention (someone with seemingly no shame who is obviously out to gain power over you somehow for whatever warped psychological reasons he harbors) is probably not going to work. If anything, negative attention might encourage him.

The suggestion about pulling out a camera if it gets truly bad and out of hand is probably very wise, too, just to have evidence to show the police in case he does something worse than stare, such as get physical.

I'm male, so I can't really imagine the kind of nonsense that women go through here (or anywhere). However, I've had the staring, even sometimes really aggressive staring, happen on a weekly basis, especially when I've been in public with Korean women, as would be expected. There were times that my staring back was enough to put an end to it, but often that wasn't enough. I've done everything from yelling at the person in English and Korean to completely ignoring him/her (usually it's a male) to varying degrees of success.

However, your situation, I realize, is closer to possible sexual aggression. In that case, I'd say your escaping him was the best move, and keep your smart phone's camera handy. The only thing I'd change is, I wouldn't give him any real attention. Just get away if possible and as soon as possible, especially if you're alone. It's also possible that the guy was just mentally ill. As you probably know, mental illness is not often recognized or treated properly. Even so, the same rules would apply: evade and record.

[Scorpion]

Okay, I will say what might be on some other people's minds. Since many older Koreans, male and female, feel they have free license to stare at anyone foreign, male or female, without blinking I think you might be flattering yourself too much. He may well have been a perv, there's no shortage of them here, but you might have stood out beyond the simple fact of being non-Korean. So, I will ask it - are you obese? The reason I ask is because there are very few Western females here who any man, perv or not, would bother staring at for too long. Most are, quite frankly, very fat. Back home there's a tendency for heavy women to "own" their weight and put it all out on display, and that includes their cleavage. You mentioned that he stared at you up and down for some time. That is completely unacceptable, and I can understand how displeased you must have been. Ajoshies can be a piece of work. But if you are one the heavy girls from home who flaunt their fatness (and their big girl 'sexiness') in their fashion choices, then maybe that is what had him mesmerized. I apologize if I am wrong, but since I've seen very few attractive Western females here I doubt it's your "looks" that had his eyes glued to you.

And your choice of photo linked to the bottom of your story, well I just don't know...

[drydell]

Get phone out and film him - make it obvious what you are doing and mention YouTube/netizens and a future of shame..