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edwardcatflap
Joined: 22 Mar 2009
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 Posted: Sun May 17, 2015 1:07 am Post subject: |
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| A recent problem is that many people are not recognizing how important housewives are to society. Providing a clean, well-maintained, loving home is not an easy task and should be given the respect it deserves. |
It may be more difficult than people think but unless you live in a mansion, it's still not on a par with a full time job. Nor does it contain any element of stress. A man who has a typical modern job with all the stress and long hours that entails may be entitled to feel a childless wife at home isn't putting as much into the relationship as he is. |
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The Cosmic Hum
Joined: 09 May 2003
Location: Sonic Space
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| Posted: Sun May 17, 2015 6:26 pm Post subject: |
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| edwardcatflap wrote: |
| Quote: |
| A recent problem is that many people are not recognizing how important housewives are to society. Providing a clean, well-maintained, loving home is not an easy task and should be given the respect it deserves. |
It may be more difficult than people think but unless you live in a mansion, it's still not on a par with a full time job. Nor does it contain any element of stress. A man who has a typical modern job with all the stress and long hours that entails may be entitled to feel a childless wife at home isn't putting as much into the relationship as he is. |
Not too sure about the PC approach on this one.
A woman, perhaps naturally inclined to be a social animal, having to stay in the house, alone, might find that quite stressful. The longer the husband is at work, the more her stress would be as well. Yes?
The narative plays out something like this.
You get the husband coming home, after hours of social integration, wanting to be left alone, at least for a while.
So it would be the wife, at this point, feeling the husband is not putting as much into the 'relationship' as she is wanting...or needing.
Both sides would be in the awkward position of feeling as though something were amiss.
For guys anyway, at least according to Bill Burr, married woman, mothers, are living the dream.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hitc8haEu_g
He has some interesting thoughts, in keeping with this thread on the predicament of men and marriage.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0gaYyNk7QA |
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bucheon bum
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
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| Posted: Mon May 18, 2015 5:36 am Post subject: |
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| edwardcatflap wrote: |
| Quote: |
| A recent problem is that many people are not recognizing how important housewives are to society. Providing a clean, well-maintained, loving home is not an easy task and should be given the respect it deserves. |
It may be more difficult than people think but unless you live in a mansion, it's still not on a par with a full time job. Nor does it contain any element of stress. A man who has a typical modern job with all the stress and long hours that entails may be entitled to feel a childless wife at home isn't putting as much into the relationship as he is. |
The modern job is probably less stressful than 100+ years ago. No danger of dying now for most jobs. long hours? The 40 hour work week is historically the exception, and not the rule.
If not for wage stagnation combined with an increased cost of living, I don't think that many men would object to their wives staying at home. |
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edwardcatflap
Joined: 22 Mar 2009
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| Posted: Mon May 18, 2015 7:02 am Post subject: |
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| bucheon bum wrote: |
| edwardcatflap wrote: |
| Quote: |
| A recent problem is that many people are not recognizing how important housewives are to society. Providing a clean, well-maintained, loving home is not an easy task and should be given the respect it deserves. |
It may be more difficult than people think but unless you live in a mansion, it's still not on a par with a full time job. Nor does it contain any element of stress. A man who has a typical modern job with all the stress and long hours that entails may be entitled to feel a childless wife at home isn't putting as much into the relationship as he is. |
The modern job is probably less stressful than 100+ years ago. No danger of dying now for most jobs. long hours? The 40 hour work week is historically the exception, and not the rule.
If not for wage stagnation combined with an increased cost of living, I don't
think that many men would object to their wives staying at home. |
Some people would argue that the decline of trade union power and the idea of a job for life with the same company. Plus more competition for white. collar jobs from more people graduating from university and employers constantly demanding higher level qualifications all lead to increased competition, less certainty and more stress in the workplace. |
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drcrazy
Joined: 19 Feb 2003
Location: Pusan. Yes, that's right. Pusan NOT Busan. I ain't never been to no place called Busan
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| Posted: Mon May 18, 2015 7:24 pm Post subject: |
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| Kwangjuchicken wrote: |
Is being single selfish?
No. Oysters are selfish.
But, my question is: "Are shrimp selfish?" |
Why do you think oysters are selfish? |
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Kwangjuchicken
Joined: 01 Sep 2003
Location: I was abducted by aliens on my way to Korea and forced to be an EFL teacher on this crazy planet.
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| Posted: Tue May 19, 2015 4:45 am Post subject: |
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| drcrazy wrote: |
| Kwangjuchicken wrote: |
Is being single selfish?
No. Oysters are selfish.
But, my question is: "Are shrimp selfish?" |
Why do you think oysters are selfish? |
Well, look how hard they are to open. If there is a pearl inside, it takes a lot of work to get it out. If you just say, "Please oyster, open up and let me see if you have a pearl and share it with me." It's not going to happen.
Last edited by Kwangjuchicken on Wed May 20, 2015 2:21 am; edited 1 time in total |
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edwardcatflap
Joined: 22 Mar 2009
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| Posted: Tue May 19, 2015 3:38 pm Post subject: |
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| You don't have to be mad to work here but.... |
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Kwangjuchicken
Joined: 01 Sep 2003
Location: I was abducted by aliens on my way to Korea and forced to be an EFL teacher on this crazy planet.
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| Posted: Wed May 20, 2015 2:21 am Post subject: |
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| edwardcatflap wrote: |
| You don't have to be mad to work here but.... |
You said but  |
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EZE
Joined: 05 May 2012
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| Posted: Wed May 20, 2015 3:00 am Post subject: |
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| Everyone is selfish. People make the decision to stay single or get married based on the perceived benefits. |
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catman
Joined: 18 Jul 2004
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| Posted: Sat Jun 06, 2015 8:42 pm Post subject: 7 Reasons Why Intelligent Women Are Not Have Children |
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Didn't want to start a new thread so I thought I would post it here.
7 Real Reasons Intelligent Women Aren't Having Children
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1. Because some women physically can’t.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), about 6 percent of married women ages 15 to 44 are infertile – that is, they are unable to get pregnant after having one year of unprotected sex.
Infertility can be caused by age, rapid weight loss or gain, excessive alcohol use, smoking or excessive stress that causes missed periods.
2. Because two is just enough.
The idea that marriage is just for reproducing is becoming more and more obsolete.
Although the vast majority of married women do end up having children, some women don’t really want a full house, and that’s OK.
In 2013, Sara Tenenbein, a 31-year-old blogger and consultant, told The Los Angeles Times she’s satisfied living with just her husband and doesn’t “need to add more humans to the equation.”
And she’s not alone: Between the years 2006 and 2010, 6 percent of married women ages 40 to 44 had no children (biological, adopted or stepchildren) in their house.
It’s a small percentage, but it’s statistically significant since in 1988, only 4.5 percent of married women were childless.
Childless by Choice Project Director Laura S. Scott also told The Los Angeles Times that recently, there’s been a “resistance” to becoming a parent right after marriage.
People are taking control of their own lives and refusing to follow previously accepted trajectories “in ways that they didn’t perhaps 30 or 40 or 50 years ago,” Scott said.
3. Because there are not enough social services to assist working mothers.
Paid maternity leave, flexible work schedule and subsidized day care are all necessary requirements for a woman who’d at least try to have it all.
The United States has a notoriously flawed maternity leave system – mainly because paid maternity leave simply doesn’t exist.
President Obama has called the US the only developed country in the world that doesn’t have some kind of partially paid, legally protected time off program for new mothers.
Swedish mother Christine Demsteader told Bloomberg she has it “so good” in Stockholm.
“The thing is,” she said, “we have only one system for doing things: Women take a year off, then they go back to work, and the kid goes into day care. You don’t have another option.”
Maybe if the US helps women who want to have kids, women will have kids.
4. Because of intelligence… maybe.
Research from the London School of Economics suggests there’s a link between intelligence and desire to have children.
According to Evolutionary Psychologist Satoshi Kanazawa, a woman’s urge to be a mother drops 25 percent for every 15 extra IQ points.
But Sadhbh Walshe of The Guardian wasn’t convinced, and she analyzed these results even further.
Walshe proclaims Kanazawa’s findings merely reinforce the terrible idea that women who choose not to have children are selfish. She says:
[Kanazawa’s] ultimate conclusion, however, is that intelligent women’s failure to reproduce is bad for them because they are flying in the face of their biological destiny, and it’s also bad for society because fewer intelligent moms means fewer intelligent kids, and that may have drastic implications for the nationwide IQ.
So put another way, smart women are doing society a disservice with their dumb reproductive choices.
This plays nicely into the narrative that women who choose not to have children are selfish or sad or both.
Kanazawa’s findings might seem interesting, but they should be taken with a grain of salt. He has an history of being under fire for a variety of controversial pseudoscience – his most heinous being his “objective” suggestion that black women are not attractive.
It’s worth noting women who have achieved high levels of education are generally the least likely to have children, but in recent years, their percentage of childlessness is actually decreasing.
Women with professional degrees are more likely to have children now than they were 14 years ago. In other words, they’re actually going against the trend.
5. Because of negative interactions with children.
A study from Kansas State University suggests people who have been exposed to loud tantrums, smelly diapers or other gross, unappealing aspects of babies don’t want to have children.
Yeah, this makes sense.
6. Because of increased use of emergency contraceptives and birth control.
The CDC reports 11 percent of sexually active women between the years 2006 and 2010 used the morning after pill at some point in their lives, compared to only 4.2 percent in 2002 and 1 percent in 1995.
Additionally, the percentage of women who have used contraceptive methods has increased from 98.2 percent in 2002 to 99.1 percent between 2006 and 2010.
Of those contraceptive methods, 87.5 percent of women used highly effective methods such as the pill, an IUD or a contraceptive patch, up from 85.5 percent in 2002.
Emergency contraceptives and birth control methods give women agency over their own bodies, allowing them to decide when they feel ready to have a child – if ever.
7. Because they just don’t want to.
Ultimately, having a child is an individual choice. And some women just don’t want to do it.
Women are experiencing a kind of freedom they’ve never had before.
Gone are the days when women could only be housewives, when they felt pressure to stay in the home and be their families’ caregivers.
Now, women are in every corner of every industry, with their representation growing each day.
It’s this plethora of new choices that make women feel like they can truly do anything. |
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fromtheuk
Joined: 31 Mar 2007
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| Posted: Sun Jun 07, 2015 9:48 am Post subject: |
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| To be single can be selfish but it can also be very considerate. If a person knows that they will have a detrimental effect on someone else, to remain single is quite altruistic in my view. |
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Fox
Joined: 04 Mar 2009
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| Posted: Sun Jun 07, 2015 3:51 pm Post subject: |
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| fromtheuk wrote: |
| To be single can be selfish but it can also be very considerate. If a person knows that they will have a detrimental effect on someone else, to remain single is quite altruistic in my view. |
Yes, I suppose that if someone really thinks to themself, "Well, I'd love to be in a relationship, but I'm such a fundamentally horrible person that inflicting myself upon anyone else would be to their detriment, so I will remain single for the sake of others," then they are comporting themself in an altrustic fashion. On the other hand, how someone could be simultaneously such a horrible person that a relationship with them would be detrimental in itself, and so compassionate and concerned for others that they would be willing to abstain from relationships for the sake of humanity, I surely don't know.
| EZE wrote: |
| Everyone is selfish. |
I've heard this sentiment expressed a number of times; it seems to be a fairly popular assertion to make, sounding as it does world-wise and above hypocrisy. Yet all one need do is consider the actual definition of selfishness to see that it is false:
| Quote: |
adjective
1.
devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.
2.
characterized by or manifesting concern or care only for oneself:
selfish motives. |
Yes, of course personal benefit plays some role in our actions, but selfishness requires something more than that. Namely, it requires exclusive concern for oneself, to the complete detriment of others. It's fairly clear just by glancing at the world that concern for others plays at least some role in the average man's action, and accordingly, the average man cannot be deemed selfish in any general sense. |
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fromtheuk
Joined: 31 Mar 2007
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| Posted: Sun Jun 07, 2015 7:38 pm Post subject: |
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I am divorced so I gave marriage a go but it didn't work out.
I think self-loathing in the privacy of my own home is the only way I can come to terms with not having a woman in my life. Although I am well-spoken, I have absolutely no personality whatsoever.
I have received attention from women in life but when they are in the vicinity I clam up and do whatever I can to keep them at arm's length. I cannot handle the idea of being liked, I've always felt uncomfortable with that. So, I almost do anything to be disliked. I am my own worst enemy when it comes to love/romance.  |
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catman
Joined: 18 Jul 2004
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| Posted: Sun Jun 07, 2015 8:38 pm Post subject: |
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| Those with mental illness sometimes avoid relationships as they do not want to become a burden to others. Like having children that they cannot properly take care of. |
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Chaparrastique
Joined: 01 Jan 2014
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| Posted: Sun Jun 07, 2015 8:51 pm Post subject: |
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Being single is fine for some people, they thrive on it.
Other people feel they have to be married or in relationships the whole time.
To each their own, just please stop judging eachother.
| Catman wrote: |
| 7 Real Reasons Intelligent Women Aren't Having Children |
7bn consumers trashing our environment. What future for our progeny? who will be left to survive increasing natural disasters and compete for dwindling resources. |
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