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Korean Job Discussion Forums
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beast
Joined: 28 Jan 2003
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 Posted: Tue Jun 01, 2004 2:13 am Post subject: |
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| Tell em' you are as gay as the day is long and would like him to introduce you to some of his male friends. Ha ha ha!!!! Then say you want to go to the Jim Jul Bahng together. |
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Gwangjuboy
Joined: 08 Jul 2003
Location: England
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| Posted: Tue Jun 01, 2004 3:35 am Post subject: Re: Blowing Koreans Off |
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| TheUrbanMyth wrote: |
| Gwangjuboy wrote: |
| Butterfly wrote: |
| Novalis wrote: |
| I've met some nice Koreans who have been willing to help me do things (translate for me at the bank, the dentist, the doctor's), but then they try to monopolize my weekends. One Korean thought because he had bought me dinner a lot and helped me out in other ways that it was my obligation to entertain his friends and business colleagues all weekend long. Another Korean just invited himself to go hiking with me this weekend. How do you deal with situations like these? I've tried the direct approach, and that didn't work. Any ideas about lies I can tell to get out of situations like these? Thanks. |
Don't accept people's offers to help you in future then, unless you are willing to reciprocate in some way. What, you think you deserve to be helped whenever you need it, just because you're white?
There is an unbearable arrogance in your post, that you are expected to 'entertain' this guy's business colleagues all weekend, when in truth, admit it, he just invited you along because he thought you'd be lonely didn't he? And this after he's already bought you dinners and drinks a few times.
You can get out of these situations by saying 'no thanks I'm busy' as you already know, but I really hope some Korean says that to you the next time you ask him to go to the dentist with you. Jesus. |
The proverb "you don't give to get back" comes to mind. |
So keeping this proverb in mind, how about buying me a drink or ten ? 
There comes a point when just to keep one's self-respect one should reciprocate. After all, nobody likes a mooch. |
If I ever met you I probably would.  I agree that keeping one's self respect is very important, but I think that returning a favour should be something you do unprompted. The OP might have been better explaining to the Koreans that his weekends are tied up, but he would be prepared to meet them during the week one evening and have dinner. |
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On the other hand
Joined: 19 Apr 2003
Location: I walk along the avenue
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| Posted: Tue Jun 01, 2004 7:48 am Post subject: |
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Two suggestions:
1. When a Korean does you a favour, make an attempt to reciprocate right away, or at least as soon as possible. For example, let's say he visits the doctor with you to do translation. After leaving the office, offer to treat him to lunch or buy him a coffee. This shows gratitude for his assistance, and hopefully he gets the idea that it is a one-time offer and he does not have an endless claim to your time. If he can't accompany you for lunch on that particular day, arrange a SPECIFIC day and time for the outting. Even if he doesn't get the idea and still pesters you night and day, at least you can turn him down with a clear conscience.
2. Whenever asked, help students or friends with their English. I accept almost all requests to explain concepts or correct writing(unless I think it involves cheating), and it doesn't take up more than a few hours per month of my time. I figure that this pretty much covers any favours that they may have done or may one day do for me.
And if you can't be bothered to do something along the lines of what I've discussed here, you really have no right to expect any assistance from anyone, and should strenuously refuse all such assistance when it is offered to you. |
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Universalis
Joined: 17 Nov 2003
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Tue Jun 01, 2004 6:09 pm Post subject: |
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| On the other hand wrote: |
Two suggestions:
1. When a Korean does you a favour, make an attempt to reciprocate right away, or at least as soon as possible. For example, let's say he visits the doctor with you to do translation. After leaving the office, offer to treat him to lunch or buy him a coffee. This shows gratitude for his assistance, and hopefully he gets the idea that it is a one-time offer and he does not have an endless claim to your time. If he can't accompany you for lunch on that particular day, arrange a SPECIFIC day and time for the outting. Even if he doesn't get the idea and still pesters you night and day, at least you can turn him down with a clear conscience.
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This reminds me of one episode of Seinfeld where JErry had to buy lunch for some guy he didn't really like, Kenny Banya. They go out, sit down, look at the menu, and the guy decides that he'll just buy hiimself a salad and JErry can buy him a real lunch later. Pissed, Jerry tells him, "No, this is your lunch, it's a one-time offer," or somethign like that...
"I'll just have some kimbab... you can buy me a real lunch later."
Brian |
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Gladiator
Joined: 23 May 2003
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Tue Jun 01, 2004 10:15 pm Post subject: Blowing Koreans off |
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| Rearrange the word order of this thread and you'll get Koreans Blowing Off, which definitely needs a thread. |
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