Korean Job Discussion Forums

[chiaa]

Lately, I have been in many Korean newspapers and on radio shows do to being a foreigner owning a small business here. Whenever one of these things first comes out, I always get a couple of Koreans who want to be my "friend". I have always been able to deal with this easily in the past ( I didnt have to be nice to people when I was an English teacher), but here in the store I am sort of trapped (and have to be nice), as one of my friends put it.

Now don't get me wrong, I like talking to Koreans, just has much as the foreigners that come in here. But, a conversation develops through mutual interests, not because someone comes in here to get help or for conversation practice.

I once had a young man come in her and he asked me if he could come everyday for twenty minutes to talk to me. I told him no, sorry can't do it. But he continued to ask several more times. When he eventually got the picture, he then went on to ask me permission to do the same thing he just did to me, to one of my customers who was browsing in the store. Same thing, told him no several times and then kicked him out of the store. I didnt have to be forceful, but had to steer him out the door.

I know some of you may think that I am being an asshole, but you must consider this. I work 61 store hours a week, plus an additional 10-20 at home, so I dont have the time or the energy to be nice to people who only want to use me.

What would you do?

[Swiss James]

you only have to be nice to people for two reasons
a) because people should be nice to each other
b) because you own a business and people like to buy from nice people.

This guy crossed the line on both of those things, it's not cool by any standards to come in and bug someone when they've told you nicely to go away. Next time you get this, I suppose you could chat for a bit and then just say:
"OK well let me know if you need any help picking out something to buy, I have some paperwork to do. Yer freaking leech."

[Mashimaro]

Well put James.
The guy has the right to ask you if he can come and talk everyday.
You have the right to say no. If he keeps asking he's just being pushy and rude. I guess you have to be pretty diplomatic when you run a business but you sure have no reason to feel guilty or whatever.

[inkoreaforgood]

Yeah, I've had to kindly tell people here to bugger off before, same situation. Koreans want to "make friends" with a forienger, but of course lets only speak English. Giving them a hint is extremely difficult, as they are the kind of people who have no consideration for others. Most Koreans are not like this, but those few who are will come up to you every time.

Working the store, I guess telling them off is impossible. These days I simply say no, please go away, and if that doesn't work I walk away. Being subtle is pointless.

[Skywalker26]

I agree with all that has been said here. I get the same thing on a constant basis. While I am not rude about it, I definately have to be aggressive in getting whoever wants to be 'friends' with me to get the message that I not inclined to be walking language tape for someone. If I wanted to do privates I would.

[matthewwoodford]

Koreans are actively taught that repeatedly asking someone for something will eventually work. They have a proverb along the lines of 'Even the toughest tree will fall to ten blows of the axe" or "If you don't succeed after 10 tries, try ten times more". Persistence is a virtue, just not in this context...

They also think it natural to intrude in other people's lives and be intruded upon. In some way they believe we are all part of the same family and should help each other. You cold, cold unfeeling man you!

[jajdude]

Wait a minute................... "we are all part of the same family"?

Not the Korea I know: the one I know says all Koreans are part of the family.

Not Korean: not part of the family.

That's what I've gathered.

[mysteriousdeltarays]

Chris, I came in there occasionly and you always treated me like crap. I spent a lot of money there. You'll notice the past tense.

[chiaa]

[spliff]

"I once had a young man come in her and he asked me if he could come everyday for twenty minutes "


And you used to "be an English teacher"?

Bud...if I were you, I'd make a collect call to RENT A FUTURE!

[Swiss James]

I think you'll find the full sentence was

[JongnoGuru]

(Well, what do you know? Another thread careening badly off-topic.)

To the OP, you��re in a dilemma that many or most of us have faced, but with one big difference. Back in his days as paid lackey for the government, the Guru used to get a fairly constant barrage of requests to kibitz with Korean officials of varying rank for the morning Kaffeeklatsch, the afternoon chin-wag, the sul hanjan & English after work. I managed to be busy, tired or ill enough times that they dropped the idea. I recall one really annoying guy who��d call me at the end of every day in the hope of taking the same 60-minute subway ride home so he could chat at me. (gawwwwwd!)

Though you don��t want to hear this, you��re an absolute sitting duck there at your bookshop (and apparently a well-advertised duck at that) for any locals looking to try out their English conversation skills. Mind you, the same people hitting you up for 20-minute, on-the-job freebies would probably be mortified to try that anywhere but Korea. But unfortunately, that��s how it is.

If I were you, I��d have some fake ��urgent work�� always at the ready. A stack of half-filled-out order forms & spreadsheets in English should do the trick. ��Can I help you find a book? No? Oh, you want to chat? Sorry, but as you see, I��ve got soooo much work here�� was supposed to finish all this yesterday, actually����

The Guru

[ajuma]

I've never been in your shop (sorry! too far away...but I HAVE ordered! ) but have you thought about setting up a message board where people looking for privates could post? Then, when you get the "Can I talk to you for 20 minutes" kind of person, you could direct him/her to the message board.

[royjones]

I for one think you did the right thing. I think the website is an awesome addition, and was very helpful to me. I have ordered (waiting for my books now) and will definately order in the future.. good work. I think you are a stand up guy

[JongnoGuru]