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how do you learn to live here well???
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philinkorea



Joined: 27 Jan 2003

PostPosted: Tue Aug 10, 2004 3:28 am    Post subject: how do you learn to live here well??? Reply with quote

may be quite a general question but im in my second year now. i lived in a small town teaching kids in my first year some of which was cool but some which did my head in.

now im at a sound school in seoul teaching adults. im saving money well but it feels like it hasnt really come together for me. the culture can seem odd and isolating sometimes and i havnt felt any real motivation to learn korean.

i try to travel around and go out quite regularly. im getting a sense now that although im saving money and having valuable experience, something is lacking. im not sure how to really live well and make the most of my time

i feel asian countries make it difficult to really get your head together and feel a sense of your own individual spirit and what you want. i feel im saving which is positive but i find it hard to get a real grip of myself. i guess ive had confidence problems and i think being in korea is challenging but sometimes it seems im just drifting along and maybe not growing.
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Mashimaro



Joined: 31 Jan 2003
Location: location, location

PostPosted: Tue Aug 10, 2004 3:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You say you haven't had the motivation to learn korean which makes me think you are not interested in the country's culture or history. IF you are not interested in the place you choose to live then it's only natural you feel unfulfilled. Either go to a place which you actually like, or suck it up and keep collecting those paychecks until you can think of a better place/situation to be in.
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Zenpickle



Joined: 06 Jan 2004
Location: Anyang -- Bisan

PostPosted: Tue Aug 10, 2004 4:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah, if I hadn't gotten into Korean history in college or had not gone through an obsessive phase of bad Asian adventure novels (James Clavell, anyone) and subsequently East Asian culture, I would not be adjusting to Korea or Asia at all.
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captain kirk



Joined: 29 Jan 2003

PostPosted: Tue Aug 10, 2004 4:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The 'teaching English in Korea experience' can certainly, at aching moments, leave one feeling out of the loop. During such a period I came up with the saying, 'Korea is for Koreans'. It definately takes some 'learning to live well' so as not to feel down and bang one's head against the wall. I'm referring to 'peer pressure' or 'herd mentality'. As a foreigner you're that. The term 'foreigner' says it all. It's interesting what you say about not feeling it an atmosphere condusive to listening to one's 'inner voice' and following up on projects with drive. Rather, feel to be floating and detached.
I avoid/detour that feeling by keeping busy as much as possible. And mobile. I learned to ride a motorbike here, just one of the 'first things I've ever done'. The steady paycheques have helped me to be able to afford liesure interests. I got my diving card here with the help of a hagwon boss who wanted all his foreign teachers to share his hobby. The latest interests have been metal detecting (waiting to do the beaches in the fall when they clear) and making boomerangs to sell. Making b's is an activity which requires being settled, there's a lot of trial and error in it testing out different plans, materials, etc. By being busy with engrossing projects I can avoid that 'deserted feeling'. And, feeling fulfilled, more able to shrug things off that might have bothered me.
Being creative helps a lot. It cultivates the positive side of energy. So many teachers, including myself before I got into developing creative hobbies, find the negative energy becoming out of control.
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Cedar



Joined: 11 Mar 2003
Location: In front of my computer, again.

PostPosted: Tue Aug 10, 2004 4:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Find your own niche. I did martial arts (still do) in a no-English environment. As the token foreigner, they always make sure to invite you, and there is a lot of idle socializing going on, too. I would suggest Taekkyon if you are in Seoul, because it has so many college students and adults... you could make friends even if you aren't that good at the moves.
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mindmetoo



Joined: 02 Feb 2004

PostPosted: Tue Aug 10, 2004 5:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mashimaro wrote:
You say you haven't had the motivation to learn korean which makes me think you are not interested in the country's culture or history. IF you are not interested in the place you choose to live then it's only natural you feel unfulfilled. Either go to a place which you actually like, or suck it up and keep collecting those paychecks until you can think of a better place/situation to be in.


Learning to become conversationally fluent can open some real doors in this country. That and I'm given to understand Korean women find a western man who speaks child-like Korean and makes a lot of mistakes totally endearing.
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Eazy_E



Joined: 30 Oct 2003
Location: British Columbia, Canada

PostPosted: Tue Aug 10, 2004 6:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

What mindmetoo said about Korean women is true... they find beginner Korean to be really cute. Not that it's helped me have much success in that department Mad .

Anyways, I can totally understand what the OP is going through. Sometimes the isolation and loneliness can be like walls that close in on you. I'm ten days from the end of my first contract and sometimes I wonder how I made it this far. I too live in a small town and teach kids, and I've had to contend with some pretty negative feelings.

But yes, the answer is to keep busy. I found a group that played street hockey in Suwon on Sundays. I play pool with some other foreigners most Friday nights. On Saturday I usually go into Seoul and wander around. Weeknights have been a beast... next time I pledge to buy a laptop or PS2 so that I can watch movies.

I spent a lot of time studying Korean as well, and I can tell you that I've got back everything I put into it. It's well worth it. That might give you a bit of the motivation that you're lacking.
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the_beaver



Joined: 15 Jan 2003

PostPosted: Tue Aug 10, 2004 6:32 am    Post subject: Re: how do you learn to live here well??? Reply with quote

phil_walker80 wrote:
now im at a sound school in seoul teaching adults. im saving money well but it feels like it hasnt really come together for me. the culture can seem odd and isolating sometimes and i havnt felt any real motivation to learn korean.

i try to travel around and go out quite regularly. im getting a sense now that although im saving money and having valuable experience, something is lacking. im not sure how to really live well and make the most of my time

i feel asian countries make it difficult to really get your head together and feel a sense of your own individual spirit and what you want. i feel im saving which is positive but i find it hard to get a real grip of myself. i guess ive had confidence problems and i think being in korea is challenging but sometimes it seems im just drifting along and maybe not growing.


I've asked myself a similar question a time or two. My question is more along the lines of 'why do I like it here?' and I haven't come up with a suitable answer yet.

Yes, I enjoy learning Korean but I'd enjoy any language so that's not it. Yes, I understand a good chunk of the culture but much of it isn't overly attractive to me and the stuff I like is earthshattering.

I guess I'm just comfortable because I can delve into Korean culture when I want and ignore it the rest of the time and the same goes for my culture. I've got my niche (and it's a hell of a niche) and nobody bothers me and my time is completely filled with stuff such as hapkido, studying Korean, studying TESOL, doing computer layout, meeting friends, planning lessons, teaching, and so on. It's not Korean that I like it's, in a non narcisstic way, me that I like.
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MixtecaMike



Joined: 24 Nov 2003
Location: 3rd Largest Train Station in Korea

PostPosted: Tue Aug 10, 2004 1:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm still on the other side of the world, but I found that in Guatemala and to a lesser degree in Mexico being foreign makes one a) incredibly cool, handsome, and popular or b) a hateful gringo ( although I'm not from the US) who is to be avoided at all costs.

What is the typical Korean attitude to us white devils?
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Son Deureo!



Joined: 30 Apr 2003

PostPosted: Tue Aug 10, 2004 4:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'd say they see us as:

a) incredibly cool, handsome, and popular
b) exotic zoo animals to be taunted and teased
c) beer swilling womanizers not to be trusted
d) walking English textbooks
e) just another part of the landscape (only if you're in Seoul)
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peppermint



Joined: 13 May 2003
Location: traversing the minefields of caddishness.

PostPosted: Tue Aug 10, 2004 5:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

How white women are percieved:

A: very independent and cool ( usually young women who wish they could move out of their parents house)
B: Competition -for what I'll never figure out (Another segment of the female population)
C: Circus freak
D: Walking English textbook
E: real life porn star- (middle aged Korean men)

For the most part it's good, but there are days. . .
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just because



Joined: 01 Aug 2003
Location: Changwon - 4964

PostPosted: Tue Aug 10, 2004 8:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

mindmetoo wrote:
Learning to become conversationally fluent can open some real doors in this country. That and I'm given to understand Korean women find a western man who speaks child-like Korean and makes a lot of mistakes totally endearing.

It is true, it becomes so much easier after you can talk even a piss-poor ability.
And it is true...I hate meeting my gf's friends and they always beg me to talk Korean as they think it is so cute. I absolutely hate it Very Happy
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nev



Joined: 04 Jan 2004
Location: ch7t

PostPosted: Tue Aug 10, 2004 10:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah, trying to learn the language makes a big difference. Without making any efforts, I think my social life would be reduced to just hanging around with other English speaking foreign teachers. Nothing wrong with that per se, but to really get a sense of the country you're staying in, nothing beats knowing some of the language and having native friends who haven't spent years in the US (or other English speaking country).

I'm enjoying Korea a lot more since beginning to understand some of the language.
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manlyboy



Joined: 01 Aug 2004
Location: Darwin, Northern Territory, Australia

PostPosted: Wed Aug 11, 2004 12:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

For me, after 11 months I was ready to leave Korea with a somewhat nasty taste in the mouth. Then I met my future wife-to-be. All of a sudden, the kimchi started to taste better, the mountains looked more scenic, the ajummas seemed less gaudy, even the Sunday morning pools of vomit on the street raised a chuckle. Here's to the ladies!
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philinkorea



Joined: 27 Jan 2003

PostPosted: Wed Aug 11, 2004 3:25 am    Post subject: cheers everyone Reply with quote

i just felt motivated to enrol in a korean class next month. decided to put les focus on my saving and more into enjoying. may try a different martial arts to. i must stop this alienation feeling as priority
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