Korean Job Discussion Forums

[ajstew]

No offense to either of you, but I've been in Korea for a few years as well and know the ways of it's people. Personally I don't think cache's example of adult students taking the foreigner out for a good time is even the same thing as I described, for a couple of reasons. For one, it implies by the way it was worded, that this is a special occasion for them... to show the foreigner a cool time. This event at the singing room, I was talking about, wasn't about showing the foreigner a good time... they were going regardless of whether I was or not. Secondly, I don't consider adult students and old professors to be measured by the same standards of what is acceptable behaviour. We have strict policies at our university about having any physical contact with students... that's because it unethical and sick for 50 year men to hit on students. I agree with it. And I believe professors should be held to a higher ethical standard than average person, much like a father who has a child 'has' to mature when that child comes.

Hey, but maybe you guys think that there behaviour is just dandy... but that easy to say when you don't know many of their wives and children as I do.

[djsmnc]

I don't see a problem with it...12 years old, 25 years old, 50 years old, 70 years old....no matter the age, we are all human. Even moreso, those of us on this thread so far are men. Men have always had a thing for women, particularly younger women in their early 20's. If a wife doesn't keep good tabs on what her husband is up to in the wee hours, and she's upset about what could happen, she should be more responsible. I'm sure my father and grandfather have wanted to go out and grope younger ladies, but they know they'd get chewed out for it....simple as that

[cheeky monkey]

sorry, did you say that the wives and girlfriends need to be more responsible?

i would hope that these husbands would have an idea that what they are doing might be making their spouses angry, and would take responsibility for their own actions...

[djsmnc]

My point is that, if there is something they should feel responsible for, then they will consider their actions. Not all people feel that doing those things is irresponsible, especially if they have a wife that lives by a philosophy of "Men will be men"

As a Western male who feels he should be obligated to his wife and family both financially and morally, I don't plan to do something like that. However, if I grew up in a culture of Bijinuss Clubs, Noraebangs, 2 Pole barber shops, and extra service noraebangs, and was devoted to a workplace that makes nightly trips to these places, I may feel differently. If my wife didn't try to persuade me otherwise, what responsibility would I truly feel? I don't think it's right, but a lot of women seem to victimize themselves by putting up with that type of behavior. Sucks for the children though....

If my father ever did that, my mother would've taken my brothers and I to her mother's house, and my father would have wallowed in his own guilt and self-defeat.

My coworker is married, and he doesn't cheat because his wife calls him every night right as he finishes work and asks a million questions. She controls the money in the house, and if he comes home really late smelling like alcohol, she'll fuss him out and only give him money for lunch during the week. They have a strong agreement with each other, so trust isn't really an issue.

[ajstew]

Trust isn't an issue... because there isn't any trust at all.

[rapier]

Marriage appears to be an economic arrangement here far more than anything else. As koreans have totally bought into this idea, there seems nothing wrong with romantic "infidelity" away from your money partner.
marriage vows should be sealed with the exchange of a crisp new 10.000 won note.

[kangnam mafioso]

there are room salons and "ta lom ju jams" that feature women, singing and expensive fruit dishes / whiskey sets. a lot of groping goes on, but if you want sex you pay extra to take them to yogwan at the discretion of the girl. most of the noraebangs on the street are just for friends to sing and sober up.

[mithridates]

I have a better way to find out. I don't know anybody that doesn't like to talk / gripe about their co-workers, unless they are ashamed of her job. If she is talkative about everything except where she works then that's a sign. Compare the amount she talks about everything else to how much she talks about her work.
The other thing you could do is send somebody to check the place out in person, a Korean friend you know. I assume you're more interested in this noraebang and what it entails than in all noraebangs in general?

[wylde]

a lot of the time the wife knows and tollerates it. hell, 1 guy who treated us once actually had his wife walk us to the door of a room salon...

my wife has made sure i had enough money to go to noraebangs with other koreans..