Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Miss L]

Hi, I have been in Korea for only 1 month now. To my suprise I have been and am especailly homesick right now. I have never moved to be on my own before and certaintly not abroad. Back home I have a great family, friends, and my boyfriend of 7 years which I left behind but we're still stronger than ever. It has been difficult for me on a daily basis. When I'm out partying and drinking I don't think about it so much but when I'm alone I think about it the whole time. I get depressed and tend to cry alot. I don't think this is normal to be feeling homesickness and culture shock so soon. I even had the thought of leaving Korea at the latest half way through my contract., maybe even as soon as two months. I'm really confused and could use some light on the subject. I am desperate for some insight-- puh-leeze!

[mog]

Get a hobby.

You say you are at ease when you are out partying. A similar thing will happen if you get a hobby.

[Bunnymonster]

To be honest being homesick is most likely shortly after the move. Living away from home especially abroad is a big step and it takes time to adjust. To be honest from what you say I'd be more worried if you weren't homesick given what sounds like a pretty good set-up you had back home. Keep your chin up and remeber all the reasons why you came to Korea, take time for yourself and to echo the previous poster a hobby wouldn't go amiss...
Good luck to you
Hugs
P

[skinhead]

Hey, you and I signed up on the same day.

Read your sig line. Take it as a new adventure, a learning experience. Why did you come to Korea? It seems your back home life was pretty damn good. If you're thinking about going home so soon, it could be a bad sign. Or it could be that this is your first time out of your closet (no offense) and the outside world is a bit of a shock. If you're thinking to quit at six months, I'd say you probably won't. Most people who find that Korea is definitely not their thing don't stick it out for longer than three. If you still feel like shit then, do a runner. Three months is a good time to know for sure, and it won't kill you.

That said, give it time. There's a lot of good advice for newbies on this forum about adjusting to life in Korea. Scroll through the threads. There's really a lot to like about Korea if you make the effort to learn. Stay positive and give it a go, but don't stay longer than 3 if you hate it. A year will be a living hell if you can't find any joy after three months. Good luck. Keep us updated on this thread.

[peppermint]

Actually it's pretty normal. Find things to keep you occupied, get involved in something that will let you meet people too.

[Miss L]

I like Korea alot. As a matter of fact I think this all would be much easier to deal with if I were single. I did have it good at home, actually great. But I wanted to come here to experience the culture, to become a better person emotionally, mentally, and physically, and to make some money. I just graduated as a teacher and there are no jobs in my city and I did not want to settle for supply. So I thought if I were going to make a move for a job, why not here? I have a friend who has taught here for three years and it sounded pretty well. I am enjoying myself here but there are those times when I get sad and everything goes downhill. I thought I would be much stronger than I have been. That is why I am confused about what I am feeling and how much of it is normal. Maybe you're right, maybe I won't make it to six months, who knows. But I am willing to try three months. Does that make me a bad or weak person for not being able to stay here for the year? Am I weak link? I love my job, I work Sats (which sux) but other then that it's great. I dunno...still confused. But thanks for your advice, it's encouraging.

[skinhead]

[marista99]

So, you never lived away from home before, even to go to college/university? That would be really hard. When I went away to college I spent at least a month being ridiculously homesick, and I was less than 100 miles from home. I think if you're really attached to your family the first time away from them can be really, really hard. We got here around the same time, I think, and I'm feeling the homesickness too--not as much as you, but then I've been away from home off and on for five years now.

In short, it will get better, and you'll just upset yourself more by worrying about it. Keep yourself busy, read funny things (davebarry.com is great! ), put up pictures that make you feel like you're home. Call home every so often, and try to remember why you're here. Trust me, if I can move halfway around the world and survive and even enjoy it, so can you.

PM me if you want to talk--really, I have been there.

[peppermint]

Where does this idea that not liking Korea, or not wanting to stay means that you're weak come from? I've heard a similar thing from friends too, and I think it's bull.

It takes lots of courage to leave everything and try something new, but if it's not working out and you stay, then that's not a sign of strength, just stubbornness. Tell yourself you'll give it a fair break, and set a time frame. Until that time frame is up, focus on making the best of the situation. If you're still miserable when that date is up, then I think the smart move would be to cut your losses.

I think there'll be a ladies lunch soon. Come to that, hang out with the board girls and we'll help distract you from your homesickness.

[VanIslander]

[Apple Scruff]

Korea eats Care Bears and spits them out like so much chewed kimchi. You're screwed.

[SarcasmKills]

What you need to do is stop trying to make your life here similar to the one you had back home. (Does that make sense?)

Obviously Korea is a different experience and in no way should you be trying to treat it/make it exactly like home. The more you try to emuate your life at home exactly, the more disappointed you will be.

Hobbies are obviously very important. I'd also recommend trying to make some Korean friends and spend time with them. SO many people come here and just always hang out with people of their own kind. That causes you to lose so much of the experience and makes your transition that much harder. I'm not saying to completely shun your own kind, not by any means, but hanging out with locals every once in a while makes things so much easier.

If you teach kids and really aren't exposed to many Koreans your age, maybe ask one of the Korean teachers at the school who you seem to get along with if they'd like to go out for a night .. or dinner.. anything.. Most Koreans go out of their way to make sure you have a good impression of their country.. you can't go wrong...

Also, illiteracy sucks. I know some people who have been here for 3 years who can't read a lick of Korean and don't really care to. Some of them seem to get along fine, but it makes things that much harder. Seriously, you can probably learn the alphabet in an hour or two, and most cities have places that offer free classes (YMCAs particularly)

It's your first month.. quitting now would be something you'd always regret. Things get easier as your surroundings become more familiar.. I mentioned hanging out with Koreans, but if you're not quite comfortable with that yet, there are obviously loads of ex-pats here who can help make the transition that much easier.

[deeluvskitties]

i totally agree that there is a negative assumption placed on people who decide to leave their living situation - that they are weak or not cut out for the world, or something. i felt that way when i went to study in england with my boyfriend. it was supposed to be for a school year (8 months or so) but after 5 we thought - this isn't us (too pricey, no friends, he had a crappy job, we lived in the middle of nowhere with an annoying, slobby roommate, etc). so, we came home. some people may have thought we were wimps, but screw that. the choice not to continue to do something is as important as the choice to stay.

that said, i'd say give it a few months. i've been here for nearly 2 and while there hasn't been much culture shock, i miss my life at home. it was pretty much my dream life (friends, cool apartment, easy, well-paying job, etc). hearing about friends having fun in toronto makes me jealous. but i think its true, you can't try to emulate your life at home, you have to start a new one - try a new hobby, explore, meet new people, etc.

where are you by the way?

[Miss L]

Yes, this is the first time I left home. I went to University for five years straight in my city back home. I did not think I was attached to my family as much I realize that I am now. It's weird. Also, I am not dealing too well with the fact that my bf of almost 7 years is back home and I am half way across the world. It's hard to cope with when I'm out and I see so many couples who are in love, who came here together. This isn't the place for him right now and I understand that, and home wasn't the place for me at the time...but now I am second guessing myself. I am hoping to meet someone on here with a similiar situation, someone who might know how all this feels like all at once. It's overwhelming. Like I said when things are bad, they get even worse. I am trying to keep myself busy but the mind does not forget, it can only be distracted for a short while and the feelings and thought return. What is a realistic time frame to set considering I am feeling this way? I don't want to look like a weak link if I go home early but maybe I won't and that's just what I'm feeling..? I'm not that person that gives up on anything and I am finding myself giving up,or planning on it anyway. My motto is that all things happen for a reason and this is the first time that I am questioning myself on a decision I have made. I guess the good thing is that since I have been here I have realized how important everyone from home is to me. I meet so many people who love this experience but these people are either dating someone here, came over with someone, or are single and have been for a while. Not sure if this makes sense but it really is driving me nuts.

By the way, I'm from Canada but now live around the Beomgye area.

Where are you located?

[Bunnymonster]

Its different for different people. I don't really miss home much but then again I'd been living away from home for a few years whilst at University and working, had a large base of online friends who I rarely ever saw in real life who were still around and I have a hobby (wrestling) which lets me walk straight into social circles wherever I go. For me the transition to living in Korea has been pretty enjoyable and is the only reason I've stuck though the crap I've been getting from my employer and why I have no doubts I'll settle in fine wherever I move to next. You have really strong ties back home and to be honest I don't see you changing those feelings much. So the question you have to ask is if on balance you are happier now than you would be if you were back home, look after number one pay no heed to those who call you weak or bad for making a descision which they disagree with. That said what would you change about Korea to make it more hospitable to you? if the answer is 'have xyz here with me' then frankly time isn't going to improve things and I'd give my notice (or not as the case may be) if its something else then its probably possible so just ask about it someone will be able to help..........
As a Wise person said to me "Question everything but your feelings"
P