Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Circus Monkey]

Homer,

I see what you're driving at and I'll answer some of the less personal questions (i.e. where are you from?) if I'm in the mood. But sometimes I don't feel like answering every Korean that asks. You should realize that when you ask a question that the person is not obligated to snap to attention and give you an answer.

CM

[Hotuk]

I'm with CM. Depending on my mood, and to context of the question, I often answer the "where are you from" question with the name of the dong or gu where I live. Or if I'm in Seoul, I'll tell people "Cholla-do".

The alarming increase of that question during the anti-american hysteria of November-January made me think the real question being asked was, "are you American or not?" Though I'm not American, I'd have felt like a weasel to use my Canadian citizenship to escape the same wrath of local bigots that my colleagues have to face. So "Cholla-do" was a polite way for me to refuse to play their game.

Things are better now, and I don't seem to hear the question nearly as much.

[IconsFanatic]

[Hotuk]

I'm well aware of how Cholla-do people are viewed by the rest of the country. It underscores the "tong-il!" and "uri-nara" faux-unity nonsense that Koreans like to project. Koreans have been their own worst enemies for centuries and it's still as divided as ever, as December's election results showed.

Not to be a rude guest, but if my claiming I'm from Cholla-do (technically true) makes Koreans uncomfortable, that's fine by me. The Korean balloon is a too inflated lately.

[joseph]

Good post and and true although not exactly a news flash.(Even Lonely Planet will tell you the 1st 3 things a Korean will ask----How old are you? Are you married? Why not?) I think you are way off on the income thing though..@ years and I really can't recall being asked how much I make. Except in ex-pat bars... It is Westerners who are obsessed about how much everybody else is earning---just think about this board...So for this 1 time I will rush to the defence of Korea...

[weatherman]

One of the issues I have when some stranger comes up to me and tries to have a conversation with me that goes through the usual questions is that on some days, I don't feel like having a conversation. I have to go through all the small talk at work, and so when I am on a bus, or anywhere but work and feeling tired, or feeling like I don't want to have the same conversation for the hundredth time, or if I am lost in my own little world and I am enjoying my thoughts, I can be very cold sending out the signal that I don't want to talk. One of my co-workers pointed this out, and he is right, that Koreans think you are always open for conversation and you have to act appropriately.

[spankmyass]

My friend had it down so well when asked why he came to Korea. His response, with a straight face, "I came here to get drunk and *beep* whores", always ended the conversation quickly.

[Cabbit]

The Questions I get asked are fine by me.....I think its fine as it gives me licence to ask them questions back!!

How old are you? I just ask them how old they think I am and its a fun game.
Where are you from? Thats a good one....I say Australia and they respond Austria? Sometimes I just say yes...how exotic!!
Are you married? When I say yes they ask....
Is he Korean? When I say no they ask.....
What is his job? When I say "husband" (for a laugh) they say......
Why doesnt he work? Do you have Childeren? Why not? When will you have childeren?
Phew....Im exausted already!!

[slothrop]

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[kiwifruit]

My advice is simple about what to do when asked those questions.

If you think they are genuinely interested the tell them the answers truthfully.

If you think they have alternative motives for asking, then ask them "Why?".

I find that this works pretty well. It puts them on the spot, making them explain why they asked you that question.

You have to seriously ask yourself though, what would you ask a foreigner in your own country. Face it, you would, and have, asked them the same things. I know I ask where they are from, if they like the country, where they have been, what they have seen etc etc. You don't ask random questions like what kind of spaghetti sauce do you like? Have you seen the new J-Lo video? and do you prefer wearing jeans or cotton dockers when yachting?

I have met foreigners in my country, the most recent example being a German girl and asked the same questions as I get asked aall the time in Korea. After the prelims were over I started 'shooting the s*&t' with her ie. chatting about anything.

adios

[joseph]

but do you immediately ask visitors how old they are. or demand to know why they are not married...???

[Korean-American.]

Koreans ask way too many questions that are really personal. Really, you should simply reply, "that's personal", if you don't feel like answering.

But people do ask, what do you think of our country all the time.

3 examples.

When I was living in NYC, a Dutch girl was visiting my neighbor next door. I asked her what she thought of NYC, knowing that it is not near as clean and utopian as Socialist, Liberal Holland. She replied that the sheer number of artists, models, msuicans, hipsters was mind-boggling. She liked the local scene.

I asked a girl from London how it compared to NYC.

When I was in Morocco, an English girl asked me if I had been to Britain. I said yes. She responded what did you think of it? Did you find it glum/ stuffy/ shocking etc?

[Homer]

If some of you had bothered to ask a Korean you would have found out that some of those personnal questions they ask are part of their cultural ways.
Its linked with hangul and the level of politeness to be used. Asking questions such as age, marital status and others helps them ascertain what the social relationship is with their interlocutor.
This guides them as to what level of politeness to use in the conversation.
The married part is also because here, most people get married before their late 20's, especially women, so for them its natural to ask if you are married. If you are a western woman in her 20's they will naturally wonder if you are married.
I am not commenting if this is right or wrong but it is a fact (a changing fact of course but still valid today).

[VanIslander]

Why do they ask these questions? Well, it seems like...

[captain kirk]

I'm having a 'bad Korea day' (like a 'bad hair day' ) and this is 'forcing me to admit' that Koreans are not interested in 'variety'. Everything that is standard is good. Maybe that results in thinking the same way, like 'mundanity thinks alike' . So there are the same, 'good' questions. They're 'classics'
One I really 'like' is 'when will you return to your home country?'. I've been asked this at work by male, Korean English teachers. The tone seems to deliver this 'hidden meaning', 'I'm competing with you, I'm your superior since I am a Korean man, and you are in my country'. But we all have our moments, including these guys. Who are about as interesting as cardboard cut-outs.
ANYTHING we in the west would consider interesting about a person is here regarded as a disability, IF it is not part of the set standard. Which I'm not about to regard considering how I've always 'followed my bliss' and disregarded general opinion. How can conformity make anyone happy? Yes, unless it's a 'communal culture'. Well wiggle my butt like a bee, I'm a communal creature.
Look, Korea, I fit in. I'm doing the wiggle-butt bee dance like the rest of the group. Ah, we understand each other. What a rush, that deep, unified 'click'.
ARGHHH
It's a biaytch the last three months. The moment I set eyes on 'the end' I was 'already there'.
Time for some trancendental meditation. Ah, a mantra. How about Frank Sinatra's 'I did it myyyyyy wayyyyy'.