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endo
Joined: 14 Mar 2004
Location: Seoul...my home
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 Posted: Wed Sep 22, 2004 10:07 pm Post subject: Girlfriend back home! |
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| Yo, i'm not one to usually discuss my personal buisness, especially over the net, but I was just wondering if any of y'all could relate your own experences with long distance relationships while teaching overseas? |
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the_beaver
Joined: 15 Jan 2003
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| Posted: Wed Sep 22, 2004 10:11 pm Post subject: Re: Girlfriend back home! |
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| endo wrote: |
| Yo, i'm not one to usually discuss my personal buisness, especially over the net, but I was just wondering if any of y'all could relate your own experences with long distance relationships while teaching overseas? |
When I told her I was going to Korea she got upset. When I said that I would probably stay more than one year she told me to lie and say I was only going for one year so, as per instructions, I lied with her full knowledge that I was lying. After telling her at the end of my first year that I was going to stay longer she got angry and we broke up. I, freed from my chains, arranged a date for the next day. She eventually got another boyfriend, got married and had a couple of kids.
Every time I think about it I say to myself "there but for the grace of Korea go I." |
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Gregarious Monk
Joined: 13 Sep 2004
Location: Busan
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| Posted: Wed Sep 22, 2004 10:26 pm Post subject: |
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I just 'finished' a relationship that saw her going to one continent and me going to another. It was understood that it was "just a roll in the hay" for a few months. So much for lying. Now we've both got a whole train of baggage that'll be trailing us around for a bit. But at least we're still friends, right?  At least it meant enough that we still want to stay in touch, such are the vagaries of generation X. Read some Kerouac and Ginsberg from the fifties. Not that it's the same, but the stories are good, if not familiar. |
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dull artist
Joined: 20 Jun 2004
Location: Osan
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| Posted: Fri Sep 24, 2004 3:35 am Post subject: |
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| It sucks, dude. It sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks. It totally sucks. |
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kermo
Joined: 01 Sep 2004
Location: Eating eggs, with a comb, out of a shoe.
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| Posted: Fri Sep 24, 2004 3:50 am Post subject: Absence makes the heart grow fungus |
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Long distance needs plenty of upkeep. You've got to put in the time, or memories start getting very fuzzy.
Last edited by kermo on Tue Sep 28, 2004 1:41 am; edited 1 time in total |
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endo
Joined: 14 Mar 2004
Location: Seoul...my home
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| Posted: Fri Sep 24, 2004 4:08 am Post subject: |
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So is it destined to fail? That sucks because I really care for the girl and I know that im strong enough to be loyal and commited to her.
I just want to do the rght thing..... |
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Corporal
Joined: 25 Jan 2003
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| Posted: Fri Sep 24, 2004 5:30 am Post subject: |
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| endo wrote: |
| So is it destined to fail? |
Only if you or she is an emotional wimp. |
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J.B. Clamence
Joined: 15 Jan 2003
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| Posted: Fri Sep 24, 2004 5:36 am Post subject: |
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| endo wrote: |
| So is it destined to fail? |
Pretty much. I don't mean to be judgemental, but since you asked: If you really love someone and your relatiuonship is really important to you and you want it to work out, you don't move halfway around the world for a year. That's my advice, anywho. |
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the_beaver
Joined: 15 Jan 2003
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| Posted: Fri Sep 24, 2004 5:41 am Post subject: |
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| endo wrote: |
So is it destined to fail? That sucks because I really care for the girl and I know that im strong enough to be loyal and commited to her.
I just want to do the rght thing..... |
Don't think of it that way. Think of it as a chance to leave commitment until you're older and to *beep* around before you turn into a middle aged married dude who laments all the lost opportunities of casual sex with relatively young and nubile partners because, man, when you get older, even if you find yourself single, the pickings develop sags and bulges and you yourself impersonate a pregnancy and sex becomes a biological function instead of raw lust.
The right thing is to celebrate youth. |
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Gregarious Monk
Joined: 13 Sep 2004
Location: Busan
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| Posted: Fri Sep 24, 2004 5:54 am Post subject: |
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| J.B. Clamence wrote: |
| endo wrote: |
| So is it destined to fail? |
Pretty much. I don't mean to be judgemental, but since you asked: If you really love someone and your relatiuonship is really important to you and you want it to work out, you don't move halfway around the world for a year. That's my advice, anywho. |
Now, I'm pretty much a hopeless romantic, but sometimes people have to move somewhere to get ahead. It's a tough spot to be in, try and be a little more sympathetic, dude. I've been in this spot a couple of times, but it's never worked out, not because we tried, but because we agreed not to. If someone is actually comitted to someone else and they can stick it out, kudos. |
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endo
Joined: 14 Mar 2004
Location: Seoul...my home
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| Posted: Sat Sep 25, 2004 1:07 am Post subject: |
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| Gregarious Monk wrote: |
| J.B. Clamence wrote: |
| endo wrote: |
| So is it destined to fail? |
Pretty much. I don't mean to be judgemental, but since you asked: If you really love someone and your relatiuonship is really important to you and you want it to work out, you don't move halfway around the world for a year. That's my advice, anywho. |
Now, I'm pretty much a hopeless romantic, but sometimes people have to move somewhere to get ahead. It's a tough spot to be in, try and be a little more sympathetic, dude. I've been in this spot a couple of times, but it's never worked out, not because we tried, but because we agreed not to. If someone is actually comitted to someone else and they can stick it out, kudos. |
Your dead on, the reason I moved was part of a larger plan so that in a couple years down the road I can save enough money to pay for a Master's degree when I move back home, and begin a career in order to start a familly.
Anyways, thanks for all the responses. |
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kiwiboy_nz_99
Joined: 05 Jul 2003
Location: ...Enlightenment...
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| Posted: Sat Sep 25, 2004 2:06 am Post subject: |
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| Unless you're married, and sometimes if you are, long distance relationships don't work ... |
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manlyboy
Joined: 01 Aug 2004
Location: Darwin, Northern Territory, Australia
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| Posted: Sat Sep 25, 2004 6:15 am Post subject: |
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endo wrote:
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So is it destined to fail? That sucks because I really care for the girl and I know that im strong enough to be loyal and commited to her.
I just want to do the rght thing..... |
In my opinion, staying loyal and commited isn't the toughest part. That's just a question of will power. You can prepare for it. What you can't prepare for is the way you're going to feel when you get off the plane after a year and see a face that maybe isn't looking at you the same way it always did. Your time in Korea, for better or worse, is going to change you. Next time you see her you're going to have a different space around you. She probably will too.
Did you have a long, serious talk about how you both may have different faces the next time you meet? You're commited to who she is now. Are you commited to who she may become in a year's time? And she to you?
I wish you the best of luck, but I reckon the odds are stacked against you.
Oh, and don't forget that a lot of foreigners leave here with a little more bitterness than when they came. Beware of going home with a hole in your soul. |
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