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mack the knife

Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Location: standing right behind you...
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Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2004 7:00 pm Post subject: Women crying into their phones |
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Women crying into their phones on the subway SUCK.
There are many annoyances in this our fragile world, both great and small. Every human being is capable of committing at least 6,492 annoying acts, so just do the math and it makes you wonder how we all refrain from slitting each others' throats. One such annoyance, women "silently sobbing" on the subway, leaking like the goddam Titanic, falls just behind babies and George Bush on the Richter Scale of emotional diarrhea. As if Koreans don't already suck too much snot.
It goes down like this:
There I am on the subway, minding my own business, glancing surreptitiously up the skirt of the woman sitting across from me, when all of the sudden I am forcefully jerked out of my reverie by obnoxious sniffling and slurping and gurgling. Boooo-hoooooo! Another [sic] female has had a nasty phone conversation with her loser boyfriend.
Now, if you could listen in on 99.9999991099999% of cell phone conversations (by Korean women) they would go something like this:
"Hi! Tee-hee-hee! Are you talking on your handphone??"
"Of course! What, do you think I have a life or something?" Tee-hee-hee!
"You know, I'm not feeling so fresh today." Giggle-giggle!
"Really!? Me too!" Giggle-giggle! "Did you watch the drama last night?"
"Of course. I think [insert gender-bending, f*gasaurus Korean actor's name] is SOOOOO cute!" Tee-hee-hee!
And so on...
However, when she's crying on the subway, rest assured the conversation was with her reject, En-gene wearing boyfriend and it went something like this:
"Hi"
"Who is this?"
"It's your girlfriend, Min-ji?"
"Dammit! I tol' you not to call me [sic]! Hang up the mother[sic] phone and get a [sic] life! I'm boozin' it up with my crew tonight and then we're headin' to Miari Texas. I'll give you yours later if I'm drunk enough!! Damn!"
**click**
And that's when the sobbing starts.
Listening to a woman stifling a sob on the subway is like watching your 80 year old economics professor scrape the blackboard with a rake while dancing the rhumba in drag. Yes, it's that bad. In fact, it's illegal in most countries and punishable by hanging in some. The only valid excuse for stifling a sob, ever, is after getting your ass OWNED 3 games in a row while playing Counter-strike against a squad of 11 year old, snot-nosed punks from PEDUKA, KENTUCKY. That burns. That burns WHITE HOT.
My usual course of action when I'm subjected to this particular form of torture is to slap the phone outta the [lady's] hand and grind it into the floor with my knee-high platform boots while giving the black power salute. Works for me. Maybe you should try it, too.
Last edited by mack the knife on Wed Oct 27, 2004 11:08 pm; edited 2 times in total |
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peppermint

Joined: 13 May 2003 Location: traversing the minefields of caddishness.
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Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2004 7:04 pm Post subject: |
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I liked the pre-edit better. . .  |
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mack the knife

Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Location: standing right behind you...
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Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2004 7:07 pm Post subject: |
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| I like the pre-edit better |
Me too. I'm stifling a sob right now. I'm going to have to kick my own ass... |
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osangrl
Joined: 04 Nov 2003 Location: osan
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Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2004 7:12 pm Post subject: |
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| why the edit?? that was sooo funny! |
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peppermint

Joined: 13 May 2003 Location: traversing the minefields of caddishness.
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Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2004 7:12 pm Post subject: |
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Do I have to slap th keyboard away from your hands and smack youin the head with it now?  |
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mack the knife

Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Location: standing right behind you...
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Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2004 7:36 pm Post subject: |
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Maybe if the folk in MODSVILLE are kind I can re-post a toned-down version??  |
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Holyjoe

Joined: 03 Mar 2003 Location: Away for a cuppa
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Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2004 7:51 pm Post subject: |
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| mack the knife wrote: |
Maybe if the folk in MODSVILLE are kind I can re-post a toned-down version??  |
Ach, censorship sucks... that was a great post  |
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the eye

Joined: 29 Jan 2004
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Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2004 7:58 pm Post subject: |
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1. If the thread is inappropriate for the board, it will be locked or removed without notice, but if it belongs in another forum it might just be moved. In other words, if an off-topic thread is found in the job-related forum it may be moved.
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can a mod please tell us WHAT guidleline was broken by Mack's OP?????
did someone object to it???
it's odd that outright flaming attacks towards other posters are left alone on this site, yet a colorful observation gets the axe.
funny read Mack! |
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just because

Joined: 01 Aug 2003 Location: Changwon - 4964
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Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2004 8:01 pm Post subject: |
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I thought it was pretty good too.
A bit harsh as she might be crying because of another reason other than her soon to be ex-boyfriend playing up at Miari but I had a chuckle. |
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dogbert

Joined: 29 Jan 2003 Location: Killbox 90210
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Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2004 8:03 pm Post subject: |
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| Over the top, but funny! |
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mack the knife

Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Location: standing right behind you...
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Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2004 8:16 pm Post subject: |
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Having your post zapped is like allowing your sack to be severely scratched by a ferret and then dipped in a lemon-butter sauce prepared by a Frenchman.
I'll repost a kinder, gentler version...
In the meantime, don't dis the mods, or they'll zap this thread!! YOWZUH!!  |
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FUBAR
Joined: 21 Oct 2003 Location: The Y.C.
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Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2004 10:03 pm Post subject: |
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That was a pretty funny thread for sure. A little stereo typical and bound to offend the posters with K-Boytoys.... but funny nonetheless.
"I don't feel fresh" Just priceless  |
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mack the knife

Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Location: standing right behind you...
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Posted: Thu Oct 28, 2004 1:39 am Post subject: |
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Back in action, albeit "toned down".  |
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funplanet

Joined: 20 Jun 2003 Location: The new Bucheon!
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Posted: Thu Oct 28, 2004 4:51 am Post subject: |
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funniest one I've read in awhile....thanks!  |
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Apple Scruff
Joined: 29 Oct 2003
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Posted: Thu Oct 28, 2004 6:13 am Post subject: |
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| gender-bending, f*gasaurus |
I'm stealing this. |
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