Korean Job Discussion Forums

[fidel]

While Koreans tend to be fairly generous people in regards to giving gifts to each other, it seems to me to that there is a lack of sincerity involved. A gift of equal or greater value is expected to be returned in the future. If the opportunity is provided to return the gesture, and you are negligent in this regard, serious consequences can happen.

Take for example the following

My wife's friend gave us several gifts for our baby. All very well and nice you would think. Well, no it wasn't. Several months later she opened a piano academy and we finally got the chance to go and see it one day when we were in the vicinity. As we were driving, she phoned us and requested a hairdryer as a kind of congratulatory gift for her opening a new school. Bit cheeky I thought, requesting a gift. We had already bought a big box of grapes to give to her. Anyway the baby was grumpy and tired so we forgo trying to find a shop that sold hair dryers and went to meet her. All seemed well and good, we visited, gave her the grapes and left. Several hours later my wife got a text message from her 'friend' saying that because we didn't buy her a hairdryer she feels slighted and doesn't want to meet my wife again. WTF!

Now while I realize my wife's ex-friend my be a nut case, I do stand by my assertion that gift giving seems to be an obligation rather than a gesture from the heart.

[Real Reality]

Do not give: expensive gifts (Koreans will feel obligated to reciprocate with a gift of equal value), knives or scissors (they signify "cutting off" a relationship), green headwear, gifts with red writing (denotes death) or gifts in a set of four (denotes death).
http://www.windowontheworldinc.com/countryprofile/korea.html

Individual Selfishness Damages Economy
Collective selfishness is all the rage despite the fact that the Korean economy still has a long way to reach its goal. People are more concerned about having their own share of the pie rather than cooperating with each other to help society in a general way.
Donga.com (June 30, 2003)
http://english.donga.com/srv/service.php3?bicode=020000&biid=2003070115228

What Is Your Own 1%?
There are two reasons that Koreans don't donate well. The first reason is that Koreans are stingy with their money. Another reason is Korean donation foundations aren't clear on where they use the money.
by Kim Hyun-woo, Yeungnam Observer (April, 2002)
http://yu.ac.kr/~yno1/html/255/255_13.html

Korean society makes a sharp distinction between an individual's inner circle of family, friends and business colleagues, and outsiders. Members of the inner circle must always be treated with absolute respect and courtesy, while strangers are treated with indifference. Korean society is not egalitarian: a person's status is strictly defined in relation to others. How do foreigners fit into this scheme? The simple answer is they don't.
Teaching English in Korea - Consular Affairs, Canadian Embassy in Seoul.
http://www.voyage.gc.ca/main/pubs/korea-en.asp#Cultural

Excerpt from Michael Breen's book The Koreans (pp. 19-20):
"I make a point never to buy any Korean products on principle. Why? I will not support such a rabidly nationalistic, xenophobic and mercantilist economy. Koreans are so predatory and nationalistic. They have a closed economy and a zero-sum attitude to trade. Protectionism in the early stages of an economy is not unreasonable.... Dealing with Koreans is like dealing with bright adolescents. They're full of energy and want to do everything yesterday. But they throw tantrums and are prone to dangerous and erratic behaviour if their whims are not indulged. In most countries, intellectuals become universal. You learn that great ideas and values have no national boundaries. What is profoundly disturbing is that Korean intellectuals become more xenophobic and nationalistic, and perpetuate the idea that all of Korea's problems are the result of wilfulness by foreigners. This is the mark of a scoundrel."
"But," he said after a pause, "I love many aspects of Korea."

[sillywilly]

Goodbye. No big loss.

[yemanja]

It sounds like a more direct and personal approach to the "gift registry" B.S. in America. Compulsory gift giving sucks, but it is the custom here, just like anywhere for different occasions. On the other hand, making demands for specific gifts is just tacky, and takes all of the joy and imagination out of giving.

[Yaya]

Depends on the person. I've had people TRY to be generous to me but I can tell who is sincere and who ain't.

I think you're better off without that wife's friend. That was just plain rude of her to demand a gift, and to say "I never wanna see you again" all because of a stupid hair dryer.