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cheem
Joined: 18 Apr 2003
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 Posted: Wed Nov 03, 2004 7:28 am Post subject: |
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| tommynomad wrote: |
| Dumb questions from smart people (see OP) deserve snarky answers. |
I simply disagree; especially if the person asking the "dumb" question is a stranger.
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Do you kow any Koreans who would take it as a compliment were we to say:
"Wow, you're really skilled with that fork!"? |
I doubt that compliment has ever been made because most people will acknowlege that it's easier to master a fork than to master chopsticks. Sorry but bad, bad analogy. |
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cheem
Joined: 18 Apr 2003
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| Posted: Wed Nov 03, 2004 7:48 am Post subject: |
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Okay, so every Korean that approaches a foreigner wants to practice their English. Fair enough. However I can think of at least 25 alternate responses that resemble common courtesy, for example:
"I'm sorry but I'm very busy and I don't have time to talk right now."
I'm not sure where you're from but where I'm from, approaching someone reading a book at a rest area is not considered a serious affront. I think it's unfortunate that Korea has created an atmosphere where foreigners feel victimized when they're approached while reading a book.
I think there's a lot of "selective" indignation going on here. |
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Cedar
Joined: 11 Mar 2003
Location: In front of my computer, again.
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| Posted: Wed Nov 03, 2004 7:56 am Post subject: |
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Cheem,
do you really think this guy would have felt any different from being told "I'm really busy and don't want to talk now."??? No, he would have said the same damn thing... "uhh, sorry, excuse me..." |
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cheem
Joined: 18 Apr 2003
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| Posted: Wed Nov 03, 2004 8:12 am Post subject: |
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I'm turning the question back to you; do you really think there no difference between 1. apologizing and telling someone you're busy and 2. a snide remark?
Listen, I'm just as incredulous as you. |
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Cedar
Joined: 11 Mar 2003
Location: In front of my computer, again.
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| Posted: Wed Nov 03, 2004 3:12 pm Post subject: |
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When someone sees me reading in Korean and asks me IN KOREAN if I can read Korean, I just think they are fact-checking and being curious. But if someone asks me in English, it sure as hell doesn't feel the same.
The key factor here is that this guy could have laughed when I said I was only looking at the book but HE BELIEVED ME and "agreed" Korean was hard. I've said the same thing to others who've asked me in (in English) if I am reading a book and they LAUGH cause they realize it's funny.
Look, I was an apologist on this board when Clinton was still in his first term... but some things don't deserve being an apologist over. |
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shakuhachi
Joined: 08 Feb 2003
Location: Sydney
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| Posted: Wed Nov 03, 2004 3:36 pm Post subject: |
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| You would think that since you are doing your masters in Korea that you could come up with something that is polite but that also makes the guy leave you alone. For example (you can say it in Korean), 'Yes I can read Korean. This is my homework for university. I have to finish it before I arrive at school'. The guy will get the hint. Way better than a snide remark. |
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casey's moon
Joined: 14 Sep 2004
Location: Daejeon
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| Posted: Wed Nov 03, 2004 3:51 pm Post subject: |
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| Cedar wrote: |
Cheem,
do you really think this guy would have felt any different from being told "I'm really busy and don't want to talk now."??? No, he would have said the same damn thing... "uhh, sorry, excuse me..." |
Exactly. Once someone approaches you, there isn't much to salvage to situation completely. You're nice and they keep talking (fine if you want to talk too, but not if you have something else you want to do)... You're nice but try to get them to leave and they keep talking. You're abrupt or rude and they go away! Yippee! Except then you feel a little niggling guilt about it all day. Generally I do my best to avoid the initial encounter, but that doesn't always work. Getting out gracefully is my second plan but that basically never works. Being snarky is something I also do on occasion, especially when the guy asks ridiculous questions.
You guys are hilarious for criticizing her for this. I'm guessing all the people criticizing are guys who don't get approached by annoying men of all ages on a regular basis. Almost all of them are annoying too. The ones who aren't annoying (this goes for any country) realize that you don't want to be approached. They only come talk to you when the situation warrants it, like if you're standing in front of a map looking perplexed. |
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Circus Monkey
Joined: 10 Jan 2003
Location: In my coconut tree
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| Posted: Wed Nov 03, 2004 4:03 pm Post subject: |
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| Agreed, casey's mom. I have, for the most part, said something like, "I'm busy right now, can't talk" or "I'm sorry but I'm really tired and don't feel like talking" and some still don't get it. Those are the ones that I then just ignore or use sarcasm, although Koreans aren't too good at picking up the latter. |
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cheem
Joined: 18 Apr 2003
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| Posted: Wed Nov 03, 2004 4:53 pm Post subject: |
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| Cedar wrote: |
| The key factor here is that this guy could have laughed when I said I was only looking at the book but HE BELIEVED ME and "agreed" Korean was hard. |
The thing is he didn't laugh nor will others in the future, which makes the point about how others have laughed kind of irrelevant.
I know from reading your other posts that you're a sensible person, but I think you're way off on this one. From where I'm sitting (here in Canada) it seems to me you should've handle that encounter more tactfully. I, personally, would never use sarcasm when responding to -- let's face it -- an innocuous question from a stranger; neither would my friends, and I think I can safely add, neither would most people in North America.
Obviously we have a different POV. I'll leave it at that. |
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cheem
Joined: 18 Apr 2003
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| Posted: Wed Nov 03, 2004 4:55 pm Post subject: |
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| casey's moon wrote: |
| You guys are hilarious for criticizing her for this. I'm guessing all the people criticizing are guys who don't get approached by annoying men of all ages on a regular basis. |
And I'm guessing those who are defending her have been in Korea a long time and are due for a vacation.  Seriously, I don't see what's so amusing about this criticism. I understand this is a place to commiserate over the injustices of Korean society, but when you start a thread calling out the stupidity of "X" you'd better be prepared for some scrutiny yourself.
You yourself have stated that you're rude as a last resort, and that you feel a bit of guilt over it. If you believe that Cedar acted appropriately, why is that? |
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casey's moon
Joined: 14 Sep 2004
Location: Daejeon
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| Posted: Wed Nov 03, 2004 7:01 pm Post subject: |
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Cheem, I suspect you and I aren't all that different on our outlooks to life in Korea and differ in this thread mainly due to our own different personal experiences. You may be right, but the way I read the story, she wasn't particularly rude, at least no more so than the guy who asked the question. I do feel guilty when I get snarky (even to a guy who asked me out in a subway station and didn't get my drift when I said, "I'm married.") But I don't think I should have to feel guilty and that's something I hope I grow out of (not likely since I'm in my late 20s already). My Korean husband thought I should have been much snarkier than I was and was annoyed by my guilt...
I guess I just admire Cedar for NOT feeling guilty!!!
Anyway... |
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