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Real Reality
Joined: 10 Jan 2003
Location: Seoul
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 Posted: Tue Nov 09, 2004 8:19 pm Post subject: Are dowries still common in Korea? |
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Fight over Dowry Leads to Newlywed Couple's Suicide
A newlywed couple in their 20s feuding over a dowry committed suicide separately on the same night. At the police questioning, bereaved family members of Park stated that they had prepared a dowry worth tens of millions of won although they couldn't afford it, but husband Lee's family members had frequently expressed dissatisfaction and the couple had been in conflict over it.
Jang Jun-seong
Chosun Ilbo (November 9, 2004)
http://english.chosun.com/w21data/html/news/200411/200411090034.html |
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ulsanchris
Joined: 19 Jun 2003
Location: take a wild guess
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| Posted: Tue Nov 09, 2004 9:27 pm Post subject: |
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| I've heard that if a woman is going to marry a doctor, that her family, if wealthy, will pay the costs for the husband to start up a clinc. |
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rapier
Joined: 16 Feb 2003
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| Posted: Wed Nov 10, 2004 1:17 am Post subject: |
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The more korean women I get to know, the more i realise everything comes down to money for them.
It makes me feel sad for this afflicted society..but, I'm sure they'll discover better values eventually..... could be another 20 years though before you hear a Korean woman say "I'm so in love! He has such a funny personality...even though we both have to walk to work" |
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casey's moon
Joined: 14 Sep 2004
Location: Daejeon
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| Posted: Wed Nov 10, 2004 1:27 am Post subject: |
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| rapier wrote: |
The more korean women I get to know, the more i realise everything comes down to money for them.
It makes me feel sad for this afflicted society..but, I'm sure they'll discover better values eventually..... could be another 20 years though before you hear a Korean woman say "I'm so in love! He has such a funny personality...even though we both have to walk to work" |
Wait a minute? Are WE in the same thread? This is about a dowry... it's the husband's parents who are the selfish ones in this thread... Or am I the one who is out to lunch here... uh oh...
Anyway, my family didn't pay for anything at all -- nothing remotely dowry-like from me or my mom. |
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Gord
Joined: 25 Feb 2003
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| Posted: Wed Nov 10, 2004 1:28 am Post subject: |
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| rapier wrote: |
The more korean women I get to know, the more i realise everything comes down to money for them.
It makes me feel sad for this afflicted society..but, I'm sure they'll discover better values eventually..... could be another 20 years though before you hear a Korean woman say "I'm so in love! He has such a funny personality...even though we both have to walk to work" |
You say that knowing that your passport allows you to live and retire in a country that has an employment, health and welfare system that will ensure you can live comfortably. |
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dzeisons
Joined: 14 Oct 2004
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| Posted: Wed Nov 10, 2004 1:31 am Post subject: |
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when i was on a kibbutz in israel (where else  ) before coming to korea there was a korean girl volunteer who completely lost the plot one day.
She didn't really socialise with any of the other volunteers and had been there for ages (a year and a half?). anyway her visa was about to expire and because she had been there so long they wouldn't give her another in-country visa so she had to leave the country. Apparently she was petrified of having to come back to korea and as d-day drew near she started to act strange like yelling at some of the other female volunteers and after a few weeks of this eventually slapped a german girl. anyway at this the volunteer leader, a kibbutznik told her she had to hit the frog the next day. all that afternoon she cried and apologised profusely to the german girl. the next morning (the day she had to leave) as the german girl left to go to the banana fields the korean girl ran into her room and locked the door, refusing to come out. A mate of mine had to climb through the window and found her cowering under the bed. the kibbutz sent her to a mental institution at haifa and it turned out that she was terrified of coming back to korea because her parents had arranged a marriage for her that she didn't want a bar of. in my experience in korea i really can't imagine anything like this happening although my wife reckons it may happen in rich families.
any other stories of arranged marriages? |
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I_Am_Wrong
Joined: 14 Sep 2004
Location: whatever
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| Posted: Wed Nov 10, 2004 2:23 am Post subject: |
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| rapier wrote: |
The more korean women I get to know, the more i realise everything comes down to money for them.
It makes me feel sad for this afflicted society..but, I'm sure they'll discover better values eventually..... could be another 20 years though before you hear a Korean woman say "I'm so in love! He has such a funny personality...even though we both have to walk to work" |
Buddy, smoke much crack before you post?
The generalizations are lame. I've only been in Korea for a short period of time and have met many amazing Korean women who are not with their lovers because of money. Yeah, they're a lot of people (men and women) in Korea who only care about money , but isn't that the case back home also? YES! and if you don't think so then you're living in denial.
Marriage in it's truest sense is nothing more than an economic agreement without a doubt and probably a large percentage of people in most countries care mostly about money (ie. dowry), but you can't over-generalize and say that every person from this country is like this and so and so...it's just a little pabo. |
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flutieflakes
Joined: 16 Mar 2003
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| Posted: Wed Nov 10, 2004 3:07 am Post subject: |
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| i_am_wrong...........you are wrong, idiot................get to know this place more before spouting off............... |
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inkoreaforgood
Joined: 15 Dec 2003
Location: Inchon
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| Posted: Wed Nov 10, 2004 3:51 am Post subject: |
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| flutieflakes wrote: |
| i_am_wrong...........you are wrong, idiot................get to know this place more before spouting off............... |
I AGREE with Iamwrong. He makes several good points. Also, where do you get off calling Iamwrong an IDIOT?!??!?! Crap, express a decent and unbiased opinion and get shot down.... WTF?!
Consider what YOU are saying flutie before you say it. |
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sadsac
Joined: 22 Dec 2003
Location: Gwangwang
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| Posted: Wed Nov 10, 2004 5:31 am Post subject: |
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Traditionally with Koreans, the family of the groom buy the house and the family of the bride furnish it. That is the generally accepted dowry per say. There is often dispute between the parents of the engaged couple if they are from a different social groups and one cannot meet their obligation regarding either the house or its furnishings.  |
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inexhile
Joined: 18 Feb 2003
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| Posted: Wed Nov 10, 2004 7:58 am Post subject: |
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| dzeisons wrote: |
. in my experience in korea i really can't imagine anything like this happening although my wife reckons it may happen in rich families.
any other stories of arranged marriages? |
Most of my Korean friends marriages are arranged. Some under ludicrous agreements. 1 friend lost the love of his life to a a much older man, because his family owned some shoe stores, and her's was in debt. Sell the daughter, easy, peasy, thai and japanesee. Most others under equally sad conditions. That is in pohang though.
In Seoul I have concluded that most of my co-workers marriages are arranged, but much more surrepticiously, with the 'victims' far more willing to go along with filial duty. |
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rapier
Joined: 16 Feb 2003
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| Posted: Wed Nov 10, 2004 8:05 am Post subject: |
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| I_Am_Wrong wrote: |
Marriage in it's truest sense is nothing more than an economic agreement without a doubt |
Really? Shall we take this statement to a poll?
Or are you just being wrong again...? |
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The Bobster
Joined: 15 Jan 2003
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| Posted: Wed Nov 10, 2004 10:52 am Post subject: |
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| rapier wrote: |
| The more korean women I get to know, the more i realise everything comes down to money for them. |
Others have already castigated you for the generalization.
Taught an adjuma class several years ago and the topic was why they chose their husbands. Most said the predictable things, and what was still amazing to me was how unabashed they were to admit that they married reasons their families told them were the right ones, handsmome, good dresser, financial stability and social prominence, etc ...
One lady said something else, and I'll never forget it - she married her guy because he's smart and funny. She said a family's social importance and financial standing might rise or fall due to things no one can control, but if he's smart he'll always find a way to get enough money, and even though Korean men seldom look as pretty when they are 40 as when they are 25, if he's funny in college, he'll probably still make her laugh 30 years later.
That lady gave me some hope. Not all Korean women are as you describe, rapier. |
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I_Am_Wrong
Joined: 14 Sep 2004
Location: whatever
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| Posted: Wed Nov 10, 2004 3:12 pm Post subject: |
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| If I am wrong then I am wrong, I don't really care either way. I'd rather be wrong than not be able to come up with a counter argument. |
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weatherman
Joined: 14 Jan 2003
Location: Korea
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| Posted: Wed Nov 10, 2004 6:58 pm Post subject: |
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| dzeisons wrote: |
She didn't really socialise with any of the other volunteers and had been there for ages (a year and a half?) |
This is my biggest issue with the locals. A complete lack of social skills in any cross cultural situation. |
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