Korean Job Discussion Forums

ajuma · Joined: 18 Feb 2003 Location: Anywere but Seoul!!

"I'm open to women in my class but will in most cases not make a serious move until the class is over; students or ex-students, to me, I pretty much meant the same thing."

So THIS isn't immoral, but dating a FEMALE teacher IS?????? Just because I'm a glutton for punishment WHAT exactly is the difference????

TECO · Joined: 20 Jan 2003

My Chinese teacher is 30 years old and single.

I'm 33 years old and single.

I've gone out with her.

Are we being unethical for dating?

PS - I enjoy going out with her

LOL!!

kangnamdragon · Joined: 17 Jan 2003 Location: Kangnam, Seoul, Korea

Butterfly · Joined: 02 Mar 2003 Location: Kuwait

seoulmon · Joined: 13 Nov 2003 Location: Seoul

I date my students all the time and this is the first time I have actually taken the time to consider whetet it is eithical or not.

So, after 3 synapsal movements later, the answer is....YEs!

Manner of Speaking · Joined: 09 Jan 2003

Ditto.

Showing favouritism to someone you are dating on a test, or in class, etc., would be unethical...but if you are dating someone your own age outside of class, doesn't seem like it would be a problem. Unless you break up and she goes psycho on you and embarasses you, the school, etc. But hey, them's the breaks.

philinkorea · Joined: 27 Jan 2003

i teach adults and wouldnt say its too good an idea it would just make things strange. although actually an ex student of mine i dated when i met her after she'd left our school by chance on the street.
i feel generally it would make classroom interaction difficult to date a student while you teach them and would make an uncomfortable atmosphere. maybe others could handle it well but for me it just wouldnt feel good. i have however been out with my students a lot in groups for meals etc. i think its cool to get a good relaxed feeling in my classes.

Manner of Speaking · Joined: 09 Jan 2003

A year later, my opinion is, if you're both mature enough to handle it, go for it. Laughing

tommynomad · Joined: 24 Jul 2004 Location: on the move

I read an article ("Should Education be Erotic"--can't remember the publication/author, but I want to say Christina Hoff-Summers) last year that approached this not from an ethical perspective, but from a pedagogical one. The author made a very convincing argument that when a professor is involved romantically/sexually with a student, everybody benefits.

Damn, why can't I find that article anywhere?

Keepongoing · Joined: 13 Feb 2003 Location: Korea

if someone dates and/or has sexual relationships with their students there is little one could say to change their behavior, that is just the type of people they are.

I consider myself a professional. Why do I consider myself a professional: because I find teaching to be a privilege I never want to take for granted and a trust I never want to betray.

I love teaching! Regardless of the content of what we are teaching we have the opportunity to influence a life in a very positive way. I love it best when I hear a students tell me how they used to hate studying English, but now enjoy it. I love to see the shy student grow and become confident. I love the positive interaction in their lives. When I walk into that classroom, or meet a student outside of that classroom, I am their teacher. My hope is always to make a positive contribution to theor life that will go beyond the walls of the classroom. I look back on my own life and remember those few teachers or professors who touched my life in a special way. Teaching is far more than a paycheck!!!! It satisfies me to the bone. I am not a perfect teacher, I have a lot to learn, but I know this: I would never intentionally hurt a student so as to satisfy my own lusts or ego.

I went to graduate school with a great bunch of oeople who are now dedicated teachers. Our philiosophy about teaching, its privileges and reponsibilities are things we wear close to our hearts.

Now, the important point is that many are here to earn the paycheck and have the experience for a few years. That is great! It is a great experience.

I am rambling here, sorry.

The bottom line is that a smaller percentage of teachers in Korea did not come with a set of professional ethics.

I have recently hear this said, "well, if I don't do it someone else will ,so it might as well be me."

The reality is that we work side by side. Those who would never betray the trust with those who see no ethical or moral problem with it. That is the nature of the beast.

Keepongoing · Joined: 13 Feb 2003 Location: Korea

coolsage · Posted: Fri Dec 03, 2004 8:55 pm Post subject:

Of course there are ethical, not to mention power, considerations. Never date a student in a credit class; that's simply not on. I don't think there's any need to expand on that one. ( I'm refering to the Uni scenario, which is where most of these situations manifest themselves.) By all means, date your colleagues, irrespective of nationality. Date other teachers' students. Date the support staff. Have it off with the cleaning lady, if you must. But to quote someone more articulate than I on this very forum, "Do not get thy meat where thou getteth thy bread". Cheers.