Korean Job Discussion Forums

[HamuHamu]

It's a bit long winded, but it's a serious issue that's driving me insane right now...serious advice or input from anyone is appreciated! And, maybe I need to vent ....

THE BACKGROUND: I started teaching at a new school last March, so my contract finishes at the end of February -- the end of the acadmic year. I'll have spent 12 months with the same students at an all-day kindergarten, where I teach them from 10am -- 3pm. I'm their ONLY teacher.

I don't THINK I want to stay after March - for several reasons, some of them involving the school (I know I can get a better gig, and would like a change of atmosphere), others personal (I doubt I am staying in Korea, it's time to move on...)

THE PROBLEM: As plans for next year are being made for the 7 year olds move to elementary school and thus afternoon program at the hagwan, parents have been asking what classes I will be teaching next year. I've politely told them I haven't decided if I am staying, that I think I will return home. I'm always polite and cheerful about it, telling them I love Korea, I love their kids and will miss them, but I want to go home, etc. They don't really like to hear this, but I do feel that hey, you're an adult, deal with it; and, when you enroll your kids in a hagwan with foreign teachers, you can't guarantee you kid will have the same teacher for any length of time!

My boss is also now pressuring me to make a decision about next year. Obviously, the parents are asking her,too. Am I staying, the parents want to know, etc. I've told her if she needs a decision now, then unfortunately I have to say "no thank you, but thank you for the offer." If she wants to wait another month, then I will let her know then - at that time, the answer may be yes, it may be no. I'm in no way attempting to get her to hold my position and have told her that.


I never thought it would be a big issue. She's now just called me at home for the THIRD time this week, trying to talk me into renewing.

And, yesterday it got worse - one of the parents must have thought that I was leaving soley because of the school, because she is enrolling her other child in a different hagwan for next year. I know the student, the younger sister of one of the boys in my class. She told the director of this new hagwan that she HAS FOUND A FOREIGN YEACHER for her school -- ME! WITHOUT EVEN TALKING TO ME ABOUT IT, until after the fact!!! The mother ARRANGED a job interview for me, gave the director my home phone number and both parent and new director have called me AT HOME to beg me to work for this school. I give them the same polite "Thank you for your kindness, once I have decided if I will stay in Korea I will contact you. If there is still a postition at your school, then we can meet to discuss it." The mother now wants to take me out to dinner with this new hagwan director next week, confident that if I meet with them both, I will be convinced to sign on with this place.

Two other parents this week have brought me gifts with notes that say "Thank you for being such a good teacher for our little Jimmy, we really hope you want to be his teacher next year." I tried to not accept them, pretty much impossible.

What do I do about this? I know it sounds trivial -- big deal, you say -- other people doing the dirty work of finding me a new job, getting some great gifts for no reason, having parents that like me, respect me, and truly appreciate the work I've done with their children this year.

But when do ADULTS start accepting that I will plan my own life, and that a box of chocolates, no matter how big, how Belgian, and how expensive can not bribe a person to do something they don't want to do???

How do I say NO without damaging a working relationship for the next 2 months?

[Daechidong Waygookin]

Ask for a huge raise. 500 thousand would do it Seems like they are desperate to keep you.

[mindmetoo]

It's great to be a good teacher and know you're touching the lives of the kids and the parents and having evidence of it. But your situation is crossing over into some kind of emotional/professional gang rape.

You have my sympathy.

[Grotto]

thats a tough one.

You have apparently done a good job and they are loathe to lose you. good teachers are hard to find.

I would tell them that there has been an illness back home and that is the main reason for you returning. It has nothing to do with the school or the students its just that your family needs you right now.

Koreans are big on family and it may buy you the relief from the preassure.

You could go something like this.

I didnt want to tell you but my Mom/Dad/Grandmother is very sick and my family needs me to come home to see her. I dont know how long he/she has left but I need to be with them. I would like to stay but I wouldnt be able to forgive myself if something happened to them.

That way they should ease up and accept your leaving and you also leave on good terms.

Good luck

[Derrek]

Just tell them that you are ready for something new. You're young (I'm guessing) and people understand this. People love George Bush too, and will cry to see him leave, but he will....

[T-dot]

sounds lokk you can get alot of $$$$$ in privates; considering some of these parents are willing to leave the school cause your no longer there.

[Sliver]

Maybe you'll think I am being facetious but I'm not really. I truely understand the stress you're experiencing. The battle between loyalty and honesty!

First, and though this may not be the case for all Koreans, most want you to stay not for your benefit but, for their own narcissistic reasons related to their children's educaton. Yes, Koreans are no different from humans all over the world.

Maybe this fact can help with the moral side of your problem.

That being said you need to sort it out in your own mind what it is exactly you want.

You wrote:

[Cacique]

If you want my opinion, it sounds to me like you are flattered by all the gifts and interest in keeping you on, but you said you want a change of atmosphere, a better gig, etc., etc., Go for it. Close this chapter in your teaching career. It will be a great chapter. You will always look back on it with fond memories. You will always know you did a great job. On to bigger and better things now. Time for a new adventure. Follow your heart. Tell them you are leaving.

[HamuHamu]

Ok, so it's like this -- my OP was getting too long as it was, so I wasn't fully clear on this around this --

My fiance will find out in January if his company will place him back home again, or if we will stay in Korea. My school KNOWS this. The parents KNOW this. It's not really up to me if we stay in Korea or not. Unfortunately we won't be told for another month or so. That's why I've told my school I can't give them an answer now. That's why I have also told her to go ahead and fill my job posting if she needs her teachers for next March lined up ASAP. (Mind you, have you EVER heard of a hagwan that fills positions 2 and a half months in advance???)

If we do stay in Korea, then I will decide if I renew or not...and I doubt I will. I was unsure, but the past weekof the director harassing me has led me to the NO side more and more.

The parts that I am really really BOTHERED by are the director calling me AT HOME after work hours to BEG me more and more.

AND, a PARENT finding me a NEW JOB, without ever speaking to me, telling the school owner that I have agreed to it, and trying to take me to dinner to convince me????? Them both calling me at home to convince me? Don't these people see they are crossing the line a bit?????

How do I tell them, without damaging a relationship for the next 2 months, to BACK OFF AND STAY OUT OF MY PERSONAL LIFE!

Yes, I am flattered that they appreciate me. Honestly, who wouldn't be? I've also told them that all of the teachers at our school are wonderful, and their children will be in fantastic classes no matter who teaches them....that I've done nothing differently than any other teacher would.


I'm thinking here of the Korean way of doing things, the way to be polite and thankful without causing any of them to "lose face" over anything. BACK OFF -- STOP CALLING ME AT HOME!!! STOP TRYING TO BRIBE ME TO TEACH YOUR KIDS! What I have been telling them so far ("I'm sorry but I can't tell you right now because I don't know if we will still be living in Korea in March" is obviously not working).

[Sliver]

That does make it a lot clearer. I understand about feeling they have crossed the line into the realm of your personal life.

Good luck

[Apple Scruff]