Korean Job Discussion Forums

Grotto · Joined: 21 Mar 2004

One thing to keep in mind though is we are specialists. Many of us have far superior knowledge of English than a Korean with a doctorate in English has. While they may resent our presence one thing I reminded my coteacher about was the fact that I have over 40 years experience speaking English. Very few people that study ESL can reach the level of ability that many of us take for granted.

rapier · Joined: 16 Feb 2003

Its a common problem. Korean women are used to being downtrodden in this country, and they take it out on any nice foreign guy used to treating women as equals. these women expect men to show them who's boss. They don't relate to the nice mutually respecting male that is the average westerner- seen it time and again. Its a massive insecurity bullying going on- some Korean women are miserable psychotic basket cases. Especially if she's in any position of authority, then they go crazy with the power trip.
Koreans also see everything as a power contest, particularly the women. Logic is not in their heads- its simply a matter of who is the strongest.
Shout back- its the only way. Negociation and civilised resolution of problems mean nothing to these people- and they don't keep things in reserve as many westerners do. You have to show that its not worth her while to boss you around...then she'll probably move onto someone else.

butter808fly · Joined: 09 May 2004 Location: Northern California, USA

i tel her dont freakin yell and me and come back when she can calmly talk. Have you wondered why she picks on your to scream at? would anyone else stand for that?

manlyboy · Posted: Tue Dec 28, 2004 8:11 pm Post subject:

Yes. I'm a softie, I must admit. You may be the kind of person who, like this woman, gets a kick out of having a shouting match. But me, I find that kind of stuff very draining. I would rather not work here than be forced into a bitter and unpleasant verbal feud every other week. If it were a guy, I might be differently inclined, and I'd probably find the whole thing easier to deal with. I'll take a fist fight over a verbal fight any day. I just have a real personal problem about fighting with women. My wife and I have never had a heated argument. Disagreements yes, but never fights. That's a big reason why I wanted to marry her. I'm of the belief that you can't be good at teaching unless you like it. And if someone is constantly bringing me down by bringing their anger into my space, then it's going to be difficult to stay positive and enthusiastic when I'm teaching with them.

The word now is that the co-teacher won't be at this school next semester. I don't know how or why or even if it's true yet. She came in this morning, and we talked for about an hour. She got her blood up a couple of times, but did nothing I would consider unacceptable. Her take is that the problem is mainly my fault because I'm not sociable enough. According to her, all the teachers dislike me because of this. I'd imagine there's some truth to it, but just how much I'm not sure. I have declined a few invitations in the past, and I do like to keep to myself. In my defense, I feel I've been more than willing to socialize, and have done so on numerous occasions. No one speaks English, so it's usually pretty awkward. The staff, just like most Koreans would, were expecting the foreigner to be an extrovert of sorts - which I certainly am in the classroom, but not when I've got downtime. I know that socializing is very important in the Korean workplace, but I never thought that my socialite shortcomings could supersede the fact that I'm pretty good at doing what they actually pay me to do.

rapier · Joined: 16 Feb 2003

[quote="manlyboy"]If it were a guy, I might be differently inclined, and I'd probably find the whole thing easier to deal with. I'll take a fist fight over a verbal fight any day. quote]
me too. but we're not allowed fistfights any longer.
Appointing a woman to boss your male workforce is a shrewd piece of management indeed. Its becoming commonplace. Most of the bars I worked always get the barmaid to throw drunk guys out- less fights that way. Get a man to order the guys around, theres trouble. get a woman to do it, and they're not sure how to react...

butter808fly · Joined: 09 May 2004 Location: Northern California, USA

manlyboy · Posted: Fri Dec 31, 2004 9:12 pm Post subject:

butter808fly · Joined: 09 May 2004 Location: Northern California, USA

I just thought it interesting that you dont want to argue or stand up for yourself but you enjoy boxing.. a violent and bloody sport (but a healthy outlet and Im not saying that its bad to box!)

I dont mind a good debate, but as for arguments.. when I argue with my coworkers I absolutely hate it and since Im not totally used to standing up for myself all the time, sometimes I actually get all nervous and shake a bit. I 'may' not like it is true. I dont. Im letting you know I understand your position and I hope you just realize the reason she is probably venting on you is because you take it. You dont have to call her a bitch and slap her on the face Smile

You can just tell her to back off in some way or another. Good luck...

manlyboy · Posted: Fri Dec 31, 2004 9:41 pm Post subject:

Yep. I really wanted the job to work out, so I tolerated things that I shouldn't have. I let her get away with it, and she just kept getting bolder. I've made a stand now, but it's created a whole world of *beep* and I don't know what's going to happen.

Lesson learned the hard way.

(Play the violins now Wink

)

butter808fly · Joined: 09 May 2004 Location: Northern California, USA

yeah thats what seems to happen sometimes, if I let things go and then face them they are worse off than if I would have just delt with them to begin with. Its better than not dealing with them though! Same with change, its not easy to change but definatly worth it in the end.

I have coworker problems but after some confrontation, well everythings not the best but definatly better so Im glad I stood up for myself. Nobody deserves to be treated like crap (well, at least for no apparent reason that is). I hope it works out for you!