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Korean Job Discussion Forums
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korian
Joined: 26 Feb 2004
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 Posted: Fri Dec 31, 2004 1:13 am Post subject: |
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i think it depends a lot on where you live. my fiance lived in melbourne for two years and loved it. she went to uni there, worked part time there, had lots of international and korean friends and generally had a great time.
then when she came to oz to live with me we lived in tweed heads, which is considered relatively rural. it's on the coast but hardly a city. not many koreans here and not many asians in general, just a few japanese surfers. moreover, there is no train line here so getting about was quite hard for her as she doesn't have her licence.
after a while she got really down. just because she felt like a fish out of water. this is a big surfing area with a big focus on the ocean and swimming and outdoor fun. but also very very ethnocentric. while we didn't expereince particularly direct racism of any kind, she did feel very isolated and alone and out of place.
yet as soon as she went down to melbourne to meet some old friends she perked right up again. there were koreans around, asians aplenty and and she blended in much more easily. she enjoyed the anonymity that felt she didn't have in tweed heads. she never felt any racist overtones as such, but more that she didn't fit in.
so i guess it really depends a lot on where you choose to live. it is important. |
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waterbaby
Joined: 01 Feb 2003
Location: Baking Gord a Cheescake pie
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| Posted: Fri Dec 31, 2004 7:32 pm Post subject: |
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| The Boz wrote: |
| A lot of people have mentioned experiences with jobs, etc., but what about socially? Has it been difficult for them to adjust? How have people's friends at home reacted to their partners' differences in culture and perhaps language ability? |
My friends and family have warmly accepted my husband into their lives. No problems socially. I think that's largely because the people I have in my life are amazing, open minded, quality people. I just wouldn't bother dealing with anyone who had a problem with us. But that hasn't happened.
My parents even bought and read the "Korea: Culture Shock" book to help them better understand his background & culture.
They're patient with his English & sometimes he's overwhelmed by the constant English around him and he zones out... but month by month his English is really improving & he's becoming much more animated and outgoing.
He's bonded quite closely with my oldest brother and his son adores him. We also spend a lot of time with my sister (my best friend) and her boyfriend as we live about 5 mins from each other. My sister's boyfriend is a Greek Australian who knows the experience of racism only too well based on the difficult time his parents had as Greek migrants in the early 60's.
My husband has made quite a few Korean friends - most of them from his English classes - I think that's really important for him and I encourage it as much as possible. Really nice guys who are on student visas but want to settle in Australia.
We live in Melbourne, so my husband blends in well here & I wouldn't want to swap here for a smaller city. Like korian's girlfriend, my husband didn't have his Australian licence & we didn't have a car for our first few months here so he was dealing with Melbourne's inadequate public transport system and he found this very isolating, especially as we spent a lot of time way out in the 'burbs at my folks house until we got settled into our own place. |
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PolyChronic Time Girl
Joined: 15 Dec 2004
Location: Korea Exited
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| Posted: Sat Jan 01, 2005 1:43 am Post subject: |
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Waterbaby,
Your husband as well sounds like he is trying very hard to adapt to your culture and that is amazing.
**I guess I'm worried more about my boyfriend's adaptability than about what other people think of him. It's not racism for me. It's how HE'LL handle it. Here are some factors that really worry me about him:
1) He doesn't speak any English
2) He doesn't have any special skills(well, he has Taekkwondo training) but no business or education skills (he only finished high school)
3) He only likes Korean food
4) He's really bound to get homesick, I think
5) He's not real social, not even in Korea. Very, very shy.
Don't get me wrong, he is wonderful man with a great heart. But I worry how he will adapt. He probably will be very, very dependant on me and that can take a toll on me.
***Do any of you have partners like this that you took home? What battles did you have to face? |
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TJ
Joined: 10 Mar 2003
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| Posted: Sun Jan 02, 2005 6:35 pm Post subject: Try to reverse the situation |
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| PolyChronic Time Girl wrote: |
Waterbaby,
Your husband as well sounds like he is trying very hard to adapt to your culture and that is amazing.
**I guess I'm worried more about my boyfriend's adaptability than about what other people think of him. It's not racism for me. It's how HE'LL handle it. Here are some factors that really worry me about him:
1) He doesn't speak any English
2) He doesn't have any special skills(well, he has Taekkwondo training) but no business or education skills (he only finished high school)
3) He only likes Korean food
4) He's really bound to get homesick, I think
5) He's not real social, not even in Korea. Very, very shy.
Don't get me wrong, he is wonderful man with a great heart. But I worry how he will adapt. He probably will be very, very dependant on me and that can take a toll on me.
***Do any of you have partners like this that you took home? What battles did you have to face? |
My advice is ......... try to imagine the situation in reverse.
1) I didn't speak any Korean when I arrived here --- I survived
2) I had some special skills (apart from English language) but they were not particularly useful in Korea.--- I survived.
3) I only like a few types of Korean food --- I didn't starve.
4) I got homesick --- I got over it.
5) I'm not particulalry social --- I survived.
I'm nothing special so, if I can survive here in Korea, I'm sure your boyfriend will adapt to life in a foreign country. Just look at all the westerners who come to Korea; the vast majority of them survive.
Your boyfriend has already shown that he is capable of facing up to a challenge by 'taking on' a foreign girl friend. That action alone shows that he has courage. [that is meant as a compliment]
With you to help him in the early stages he will not only survive he'll flourish. |
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tommynomad
Joined: 24 Jul 2004
Location: on the move
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| Posted: Tue Jan 04, 2005 12:42 am Post subject: |
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| TJ wrote: |
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Ok. You're absolutely right, there is no racism in Australia at all. Thats why the Aborigines are all cooped up, unemployed in the desert with govt
booze handouts and low life expectancies. I imagined it all when I was there.
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I can't let you get away with that statement.
many aboriginals don't want to regularly turn up for work every day.
some are not educated well enough to be employed in some jobs.
many aborigines are content to live on the government unemployement benefit - they don't want to work.
Aborigines receive more benefits and assistance from the government than white people do.
Many aborigines choose to spend their unemployment and other government assistance on booze.
Some remote aboriginal communities have instigated their own "no booze" areas in an attempt to curb alcoholism.
Yes, aboriginal life expectancies are far too low. However, this is a result of their lifestyle.
Did you know that (white) teachers and medical staff in some isolated communities have to live in security compounds for protection from some of the aborigines they are helping?
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Stuff like this drives me more crazy than all the apologist claptrap put together. Let's use the KISS method, shall we?
NONE of these problems existed for the aborigine people before the white man arrived.
So own up to the responsibility until the problems are solved. Either that or
give
it
back. |
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riverboy
Joined: 03 Jun 2003
Location: Incheon
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| Posted: Tue Jan 04, 2005 2:06 am Post subject: |
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***Do any of you have partners like this that you took home? What battles did you have to face?
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I was scared when I took my wife home, but I found the trip ended up strengthening our relationship. She loved the wide open spaces, clean rivers and laid back lifestyle. If the two of you are truly compatible, then I am sure he will cope just fine. If he is shy and quiet, then I am sure the open spaces in Australia will fit his personality just fine. |
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taegu girl
Joined: 20 Apr 2004
Location: California
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| Posted: Wed Jan 05, 2005 3:13 pm Post subject: |
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| Hi! Is your boyfriend's taekwondo good enough to teach it? i know here in Orange County there are Taewondo classes/places. ALso i know some western girls who married koreans and now live in the States, whose husbands work at jobs that require manual labor. Their husbands didn't/don't have a Bachelor's degree from Korea either and they are doing fine. In some ways, i think it is easier for foreign men to find jobs doing manual labor than women such as in construction, factories, etc. Not to imply that women can't do manual labor. I think an open mind is the important thing. Have you thought about having him come on vacation with you for a few weeks in the USA just to see what he thinks of possibly living here? Best of luck |
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bucheon bum
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
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| Posted: Wed Jan 05, 2005 4:16 pm Post subject: |
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excuse me if you wrote the answer to this but:
does he have any interest in going to the States? That's the most important issue. |
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