Korean Job Discussion Forums

[nrvs]

I have a student who will be emigrating to Canada by the end of the year.

She's enrolled in my "Advanced Writing" class, a freebie tossed out to students enrolled at my hogwan. I normally teach Grade 5 and 6 elementary schoolers, but she's 15 and is in the highest level at my school.

She spends a lot of time at my hagwon not only because her mother makes her, but because she honestly enjoys acquiring English. And that's a good thing, because she's on her way to the West real soon.

She's VERY bright. She asks a LOT of questions about North American culture, and seems both excited and nervous about her impending move. Excited because she's already traveled all over the world with her family, but anxious because it's only her and her mom that are moving to Canada to begin with. Her father will stay in Korea to work. That's tough. I'd have mixed feelings too.

Anyway, she absorbs Western culture like a sponge and constantly asks me questions about my tastes in books, movies, periodicals, and music. I've already given her some suggestions on easy and interesting nonfiction to check out at Kyobo, some movies to look up on imdb.com, and pointed her to The New York Times' website. Easy enough. I know she actually looks at this stuff because she asks me follow-up questions later on. It's refreshing to have a student who cares.

However, tonight she pressed me about music. She wanted to know what kind of music I liked. What genres, specific bands and so on. She does a fair amount of writing about music in my class and I think she's quite the listener (and it's not just K-pop). However, the stuff I listen to she's never heard of, isn't available in Korea, or both. I like jazz, indie rock/hip-hop, and weird electronica for the most part. I love music.

So, it's difficult to explain music well to someone who's not fluent in English. It's hard enough in English! I am considering making her a mix CD with some of my favorite songs. Also, I'd couple it with the requirement that she has to write descriptions of the songs as best she can.

Of course, I'd only put stuff appropriate for a 15 year-old on the CD. But that's not what concerns me. I just worry that with all of this furor over Western teachers and their purportedly unsavory lifestyles (chasing women -- even students) the mix CD could be construed the wrong way.
I'm nervous enough becoming friendly with my students; I try to keep my distance. I think such a gift would be crossing a certain line. Or rather, I fear others would take it that way.

However, I don't think I'd feel the same way if it was a male student asking me the same questions about Western culture. I don't think I'd be making this post if it was a 15 year-old boy asking me about what music I liked, and I wanted to make him a disc. I feel that this gift giving seems more inappropriate with a girl. I worry that someone, somewhere might think it was a weird romantic overture and I'd get in big trouble.

That fact that I can't think of anything more disgustingly inappropriate goes without saying. But I feel like the Korean ESL industry is a volatile environment these days and I feel like Koreans are looking for a problem -- any problem. I don't want to be made an example of for an entirely innocuous gesture.

However, I can't help but think a cool mix CD of cool music at her age would be such a great thing. It'd be educational too, especially given her upcoming move to the West and my descriptive writing "homework." I know I would've appreciated such a gift when I was 15 (but only if my teacher had a huge collection of old vinyl in his/her living room ).

I haven't mentioned the CD yet, so I can totally forget about this if necessary. What should I do?

[nrvs]

Possible ways to proceed:

1) Don't even mention the CD.

2) Telephone her mother or father and make sure they know what's going on before I give her the CD. I know her father speaks English (he studied in the Netherlands of all places) so there wouldn't be a language barrier.

3) Ask my director and Korean co-teacher what they think about it.

4) Start a more public discussion at my hogwan's next staff meeting.

5) Just give her the damn thing and stop worrying about it.

[VanIslander]

Tell her she can borrow the C.D. for as long as she wants. There's no need to make a gift of it. The appropriate time to give a gift will be when she eventually leaves the country.

I give birthday gifts to my students all the time, without exception, though some classes get better gifts than others.

[JacktheCat]

[crazylemongirl]

I had my last round of vacation classes today. I gave each student who had 100% attendance a chocolate bar. The top student in each class also got a model aircraft. I really don't see a problem with it.

[guangho]

My kids give me presents all the time. (Some 8 year old stuffed chips into my mouth today- the kid wouldn't take no for an answer!) I give them gifts-cookies, apples, etc. It seems like part of the culture here, being nice simply for the sake of niceness.

[peppermint]

As long as the CD isn't full of sappy love songs it should be cool. Not like you're giving her a copy of a racy novel or anything. I've had students make CDs for me before and it's not a big deal.

[Sleepy in Seoul]

After I finished my last contract, I went home for 5 months and took a lot of photos with my digital camera. When I came back to Korea, I gave out about a dozen cds with these photos to some of my old students. Most of them were girls, but that is because they were the ones who wanted them. I also keep contact via email with about 12 or 15 of my old students. I think it's nice to show that I care, whether they are boy or girl.

[ajuma]

Just give her the da** thing!! I can't think how giving a girl a CD (it's not underwear for heaven sakes...oh, wait...here it's OK to give underwear!! ) can be misconstrued as anything BUT giving her a CD. If you're THAT worried about it, ask HER to make one of HER favorite music for you and exchange them!

[McNasty]

I say give her the the mixed cd since she is curious and interested in western music. I have given a number of gifts to my students over the years and sadly most piss and moan that they don''t like it or it's not expensive enough. I don't know what these kids are expecting, but when you teach 600+ kids not everyone is going to get a new cell phone.

If you give her the gift, I'm certain she will both treasure and appreciate it. In the end, the most important thing you can do for a student is have a positive impact on them.

[mindmetoo]

[babtangee]

[diablo3]

It is not inappopriate to give gifts to students. There is also no immorality with it also. Is it inappropriate to eat out with your students and you having to pay for it? So, I hope you don't worry about this anymore.

[Pyongshin Sangja]

I give them all signed 8 x 10 glossies of my gorgeous face. You guys want one?

[TECO]

CELTA trainers all told us it was inappropriate to give chocolate and candy to students in any student - teacher situation.

One Canadian woman who taught in Korea argued with the 4 trainers about this point to some length as she supported the giving of candy and other food rewards.

I say use 'common sense' but might lean towards more of it being 'inappropriate.'

You might not know that some parents don't want their kids eating chocolate bars or whatever other reasons.

Then again, I've had dinner with some of my students and that is frowned upon by some schools and teachers.