Korean Job Discussion Forums

Real Reality · Joined: 10 Jan 2003 Location: Seoul

Men choose women for their looks while women pick men for their prospects, an unrepresentative survey confirms. Yonsei University psychology professor Lee Hoon-gu said Thursday a survey of 308 students - 68 male and 140 female - found that women have a slightly more sophisticated standard when choosing life partners.

Thus more women than men polled responded to traits like intelligence, health, biological dominance, college education, and economic power. The men kept it simple: physical attractiveness won hands down.

Results also showed that the older they get, the more women value men's intelligence. Men, on the other hand, have a tendency to focus more on the spouse's ability to manage household chores as they mature out of the initial passion.

"Results correspond to the socio-psychological theory that men look for health," which good looks are believed to indicate, "and women look for nest-building ability," Lee said. "Similar studies done in 37 different countries show almost identical results."
by Choi Gyu-min, Chosun Ilbo (March 3, 2005)
http://english.chosun.com/w21data/html/news/200503/200503030037.html

peemil · Joined: 09 Feb 2003 Location: Koowoompa

How come all these surveys are "unrepresentative?" What are they? Asking around the office?

Real Reality · Joined: 10 Jan 2003 Location: Seoul

Years ago, I was dating a girl who didn't want to have sex. "If I'm not worth waiting for, then you're not worth it." She was hot, though, and I was smitten, so I hung around.

Weeks turned into months, still with no substantial action. We saw each other several times a week. She'd sleep over regularly, in my bed. We'd fool around every now and then (so I was at least able to determine that she didn't have a cock), but never to "completion". I was a gentleman, so I was willing to give her the time she needed.

(For the record, by "gentleman", I mean "guy stupid, young, and naive enough to date a woman for more than one week without getting any".)

It ended when she asked me to help her move into a new apartment. I took my truck over to her place, and helped her pack. When I broke down her bed, lo and behold, the floor underneath it was littered with - nay, awash in - condom wrappers.

"What the *beep* is this?"

"Oh... I'll get the trash can."

"Trash can? Forget about the trash can. Who's screwing the girl I'm buying dinner for? And why isn't he here carrying these boxes?"

"It's So-and-so. I told you about him."

"So-and-so? You told me that you saw him a few times, and thought that he was a complete fucking loser. I've never heard you say a nice thing about the guy."

"That's right. I don't think that he's ever going to move out of his mother's house. What's wrong? You and I aren't exclusive, and you've never had a problem with me dating anyone else."

Mind-boggling. "You've refused to have sex with me for the past several months because you 'weren't ready'."

"Yes."

"You met So-and-so, what, two months ago?"

"Yes."

"And you're having, based on the detritus under your bed, substantial amounts of sex with him?"

"Yes."

"And you're asking why I might have a problem with that?"

"Yes. What's wrong? We're not exclusive, I can see whomever I want."

"You're missing the point. I don't have a problem with you having sex with him. You're obviously being careful, good for you, have fun. What I *do* have a problem with is that you're *not* having sex with *me*. You can't play the 'I need time to be ready' card with one guy while playing the fuckbuddy card with another."

"I'm not seeing him any more."

"You're *still* missing the point. For the past several months, I've been operating under the belief that you are a thoughtful individual who is cautious regarding physical relationships due to mistakes you've made in the past. That's what you told me, and that's why I've been so patient with you. Now, I find out - rather abruptly, I might add - that this caution apparently only applies to *me*."

"That's not how it is, really. You and I are close, and you're really nice to me. I like being with you. I don't really like him, it's just a sex thing."

"I know what a fuckbuddy is and, once again, I don't care that you have one. This is all about me. I'm the one buying the dinners, and this lives-with-mom-works-at-the-A&P-makes-you-take-a-cab-to-your-rented-movie-and-microwave-popcorn-date-at-his-house jackass is getting all the action. Does that seem reasonable to you?"

"If I'm not worth waiting for, then..."

"Sure, whatever. The shit that's in my truck will be on the sidewalk in five minutes. Goodbye."

"But who's going to help me mooooovvvvveee????"

Un-fucking-believable.
After that, I implemented the highly successful two date/$40 rule:
Date One - beverage of her choice with one refill, and an appetizer
Date Two - dinner at any of the finer dining establishments that specialize in flair and excessive wall ornamentation
If I had not ejaculated in, on, or within reasonable proximity to my date by the conclusion of the second date, all requests for subsequent dates were denied.
http://seoul.craigslist.org/about/best/bos/58848251.html

Blind Willie · Joined: 05 May 2004

This just in:

Rocks are hard.

jinglejangle · Joined: 19 Feb 2005 Location: Far far far away.

That's the most depressing thing I've heard all week man.

VanIslander

superhal · Joined: 25 Feb 2005

two thoughts:

first, on the guy not getting any: that sucks man, but it's partially your fault. however, the way you found out was just rotten. sounds like a western girl.

second, regarding women's tastes: it's all BS. women have 2 minds, an intellectual and an animal. the intellectual mind responds to surveys, which is why you get all these dumb answers about "nice" and "thoughtful." then, just watch how a woman reacts to a tattoo and a motorcycle.

re: dating in general: there's a difference between dating and looking for sex. imho, there's no such thing as casual sex.

sillywilly · Joined: 20 Jan 2003 Location: Canada.

RR, I can understand your being upset by the double standard. But I don't think anyone should expect sex. I mean, if youre doing things, short-term or long-term for sex then that detracts from the relationship as a whole. But she did sound like a user.

Anyway, whats w all the surveys on this board, over and over again, about women wanting a stable partner and men wanting someone physically. Maybe its true, on average, but it gets annoying being reminded over and over again of the blatant materialism of my sex. As I've stated in every other thread of this type: Its not true of every woman!

jajdude · Joined: 18 Jan 2003

Holy crap.

RR is a real person@

jaykimf · Joined: 24 Apr 2004

peppermint · Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2005 3:06 pm Post subject:

Derrek · Joined: 15 Jan 2003

Not ripping on K-girls here -- just stating a fact. And I feel for the Korean men who have to live with this....

In this culture, women who are marriage prospects are expected to be virgins. They will often "hold out" on sex with a guy just to make them seem innocent, if they plan to marry him. Otherwise, after getting it, the guy will lose respect for her and move on.

When I was a newbee to Korea, I had a girlfriend who jumped into bed with me after about three weeks to a month of dating. It didn't seem odd to me (by western standards), but after we broke up and she had a new Korean boyfriend whom she quickly became engaged to. It didn't take much to figure out she'd had me on the side of a long-term relationship, and I was her sexual outlet. My theory was that she was dating the other guy, and couldn't stand being without the sex.

After three years in Korea, I have found that a number of girls do this with Korean guys, too. Not many, but it's not uncommon. And I know Korea isn't the only country where this sort of phenomena is prevalent. They will have one very future-oriented rich/smart/educated boyfriend for marriage, and another that is their "fun outlet" which isn't as big of a catch.

One day, not long after we broke it off, he found one of my "lovey-dovey" e-mails to her and freaked out. He wrote me an e-mail telling me I must be crazy, because there was no way his girl would do such a thing, etc. He was pissed and said a lot of "tough" words. His English was quite good.

I was quite angry at the time, and was tempted to send the guy some photos of her in my house, sleeping in my bed, etc.

But, of course, I couldn't do that, for her sake.

When telling this story to my Korean friends, they said that if the couple marries, it will be a problem-point forever. Almost EVERY Korean female I told this story to said, "I know Korean men -- if they marry, it will be hard for her after this."

rapier · Joined: 16 Feb 2003

dogbert · Joined: 29 Jan 2003 Location: Killbox 90210

I, too, thought it was a "real" Real Reality story and that finally, all is explained.

Sad to see it's just another C + P.

superhal · Joined: 25 Feb 2005

[quote="peppermint"][quote="superhal"]two thoughts:

first, on the guy not getting any: that sucks man, but it's partially your fault. however, the way you found out was just rotten. [b]sounds like a western girl.[/b]
[/quote]

It probably was a chick from RR's home country because he said it happened years ago, but why would you say that it "sounds like a Western girl" as though that's what we all do?[/quote]

because western girls experience the most cripping confusion between their intellectual brain and animal brain.