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Korean Job Discussion Forums
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Scott in HK
Joined: 15 Jan 2003
Location: now in Incheon..haven't changed my name yet
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 Posted: Fri Mar 18, 2005 11:42 pm Post subject: |
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It is nice to talk about 'all that stuff from the 80's' but that is not what current theories tell us should be used to discipline kids today...in the home or at school...
The current thought runs along the ideas of action--consequences...logical consequences....known consequences...you do this...this happens...the thing that happens is bad enough not to cross the line...but no violence...because that is for the weak-willed and the weak-minded...
Kid skips school...Dad takes away all extra cash...or the keys to the car...or sends the kid to a boarding school where truancy is difficult... |
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little mixed girl
Joined: 11 Jun 2003
Location: shin hyesung's bed~
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| Posted: Sat Mar 19, 2005 1:34 pm Post subject: |
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| Yu_Bum_suk wrote: |
| Most rich kids here or in the west? I think that whether their parents hit them when they're angry has little to do with whether they turn out spoiled. And no I don't know who Judge Hatchet is. Re: your sister, if she's in North America there's something called car keys that work a lot than a 'love stick', but perhaps in the Korean mind denying your rich kids an ostenstatious display is a far worse form of abuse. |
i'm from america & i live in america, so i'm talking about american kids.
it's not about beating a kid when u have a bad day, it's about beating them when they continue to be bad.
seriously, i'm scared to swear in my DREAMS for fear that my mom will hear me and go off.
it's been a long time since i caught a beating but still.
the idea that "kids will be kids" is what starts these bad kids on their path.
first it's "oh they're young so what if they skip class every once and a while" then it goes to "oh they're young, who cares if they smoke some weed" in the end u got some kid sitting in jail because he thought it would be "fun" to go to newly built homes and videotape himself vandalizing it.
and my sister doesn't have a license. she gets an attitude cuz we're poor and there's nothing to be done about that. |
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little mixed girl
Joined: 11 Jun 2003
Location: shin hyesung's bed~
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| Posted: Sat Mar 19, 2005 1:40 pm Post subject: |
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| Scott in HK wrote: |
It is nice to talk about 'all that stuff from the 80's' but that is not what current theories tell us should be used to discipline kids today...in the home or at school...
The current thought runs along the ideas of action--consequences...logical consequences....known consequences...you do this...this happens...the thing that happens is bad enough not to cross the line...but no violence...because that is for the weak-willed and the weak-minded...
Kid skips school...Dad takes away all extra cash...or the keys to the car...or sends the kid to a boarding school where truancy is difficult... |
the stuff in the 80s was like "let's talk about it". and "don't beat your kids because that causes emotional distress".
some kids just don't care.
take away the car? fine i'll steal one.
take my cash? i'll steal that too.
it's not that all kids are bad, it's just that the bad ones need to be taught their place. with a love stick...or a love phone, or a love whatever is nearest to your hand. |
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Plutocracy
Joined: 01 Feb 2005
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| Posted: Sat Mar 19, 2005 1:53 pm Post subject: |
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Not all bad kids need corporal punishment. Some bad kids are caused by it.
The baddness of my youth (and my brothers) is directly proportional to the violence my dad used (the more violence and discipline, the more we acted violently and took our aggression to the public). I don't think he ever did see the connection (though he eventually stopped, so maybe he did).
Ive always responded better to rational incentives rather than punishments. A lot of kids have a "its like a hot bath, ill get used to it" attitude towards corporal punishment. They take it as a test of self, all the while reaffirming their parents wrongness and their own rightness. Then the parent is either forced to increase severity of punishment, or the kid has won. If kid still dosn't buckle after increased severity, bad news. Bad situation to be in an ever-increasing corporal punishment war with your kids.
It does not work on kids stubborn enough to decide to take the punishment, no matter how severe, it just makes them worse. I bet a certain Canadian-Korean kid is like that.
Plus it teachs them thats how to deal with people they disagree with, or feel they have authority over. Connecting authority with violence=bad education for ethics.
Severe corporal punishment can lead to mental disease.
But I guess it depends on the kid, im sure it works on many. My experiance anyway.
Then again, i'd rather take a caning than a big fine.
Will take beating for $$ if anyone is interested. Contact [email protected].  |
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Yu_Bum_suk
Joined: 25 Dec 2004
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| Posted: Sat Mar 19, 2005 5:14 pm Post subject: |
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| little mixed girl wrote: |
some kids just don't care.
take away the car? fine i'll steal one.
take my cash? i'll steal that too.
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Beat them and ... what, they turn out to be perfectly respectful? More like beat them and they'll respond to their problems likewise. You've got enough money to be on-line - why not try rewarding your sister with something if being poor seems to be the cause of her rebellion. There's nothing in the case of the abusive Korean father that suggests your sister could be helped by this approach; he resorted to what would be assault by any measure and failed.
I haven't been in Korea long, but problems in the general approach to raising children seem obvious. Many parents don't seem to instil in their children a need to be aware of how one's actions effect others and teach their kids that they're more important than everyone else, spoil very young kids, especially boys, and get upset when the educational system bring problems to their attention. Then they go crazy when their teenagers can't meet their ridiculous expectations and go along with the demands of the educational system. Adding physical abuse to this problem can only make things worse. I'd love to see what kind of dad this Korean CEO was when his son was growing up. I'd bet a lot of money the kid hardly ever saw him, or saw his dad's money a lot more than his dad. |
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little mixed girl
Joined: 11 Jun 2003
Location: shin hyesung's bed~
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| Posted: Sun Mar 20, 2005 12:36 pm Post subject: |
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my sister isn't really rebellious, she's just got an attitude problem.
there are no 'rewards' because our family is poor
ppl, plz i'm not talking about beating kids when u feel like it.
it's like ok "don't do that" *kid gets punished*, kid keeps doing bad thing then they get beat.
anyways i got a bus to catch. |
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