Korean Job Discussion Forums

rapier · Joined: 16 Feb 2003

Emma Clare & Tiger beer; i know exactly how you feel... I too lived in 10 different towns before I left school- and uncountable thereafter. I'm 30 now, and I've had 54 different jobs so far; lived and worked in 8 countries; and so on.
However, whenever the opportunity for a good career job, a serious relationship. and to settle down has presented itself, I have balked at the idea..Just something in me is allergic to long term plans, arrangements and responsibilities.
You could say i've made my decision, for better or worse, to opt out of the standard life prescribed by society. of course sometimes I feel lonely, worried and pointless. But those feelings are usually projected onto me by the rigid unimaginative opinions of others, they don't come from within me.
To me the most distressing thing about it is indeed the turnover of friends- and the constant process of going through all the same old hurdles and conversations again with new friendships. that, and the way people with different goals in life (making lots of money etc) judge you. Also, as you get older you often find yourself having to work and associate with people lots younger than you, and on the same employment level..gets to be boring/ annoying sometimes. For example, the 22 yr old other waegook teachers at my hogwan just can't understand why I don't particularly want to get drunk every night...and so on.
Perhaps I'm "fortunate" in that i have no parents to pressure me with their high expectations, and not a real family life to speak of, made sure I have no children to support, -I don't even have a home country worth living in anymore.
My best friends are married, buying houses, and in good jobs right now. But they often tell me how bored they get with life- and they love to get my travel photos and stories...
But,at the end of my life, i will know i have walked the earth, seen the sights, and had a full, vibrant, and interesting time- maybe more than a single one of my ancestors before me. And, hopefully done a lot of good for the planet and other people.

shawner88 · Joined: 01 Feb 2003

Rapier, are you my twin? You wrote just what I was going to. Thanks.

Tiger Beer · Joined: 07 Feb 2003

Yep, I can relate to Rapier.

Actually I've had a couple great situations I could have stayed in. I had a great one in New York doing a job that was quite fun.. making $25/hour with lots of overtime at $37.50/hour. Had a girl there that wanted to get married. Was RIGHT THERE. Two years was about maximum and then I was just going out of my mind with restlessness. The thing is I could have stayed right there in NY and just watched the years fly by. I could just feel that possibility happening.. and the thought of that made me feel like I'd never experience anything new again until 20 years from now.

Regarding the current situation. I'm basically in a studio apartment in a corner of Seoul and teaching is alright but its not great. The money is alright but its not worth staying for years here in itself. However, my contract does have an ending date and I'll have this 'the world is mine' kind of feel that is pricelessness. Thats one thing I can't buy or do when back home working at a longterm stable job.

Regarding this kind of lifestyle and friends. Nah, I feel I have countless friends from this kind of lifestyle. Similar minded people doing similar minded things. Its ideal for me.

Regarding working with 22-year-olds and everything else. Yeah, at 33 its strange to be 10 years down the road beyond others doing the same thing here. At the same time, I know plenty who are also around my age as well.

The hardest is going back home and going back into a very basic entry-level type of position and seeing young college graduates with better jobs, more power, and little awareness making decisions.

Joe Thanks · Joined: 01 Oct 2003 Location: Dudleyville

Tiger Beer · Joined: 07 Feb 2003

Yep Joe.

I loved NYC when I lived there, but 2 years was enough. I definetely would not want to grow old there. I looked at a lot of these 'stuck' kind of people riding the subways, walking the streets alone, lonely isolated existances among the laughter, the fun, the tension, the stress, the music, the sights, the sounds of the city.

The weather was unattractive. The lifestyle had its benefits and disadvantages. I loved getting to know NYC.. BUT once I knew it.. it became less attractive. I did make some money there.. but I was still outside of things. Too many people with ambition and talent striving. Met two many people who asked me what I did, only to tell them, to have them say to me 'but what do you REALLY do?' Often time this was a question to find out what I could do for them. If I wasn't involved in some creative field or some other ambition, then I was deemed pointless to talk to, and very shortly thereafter it was time to move on to the next person who might have something to offer.

It is true that when you grow up in small towns.. EVERYTHING looks good.. I grew up in small town Michigan.. and all I know is I gotta get out of there someday and never go back again. Grew up knowing that and thinking it every single day. But yeah, if you grow up in THE spot you're just there.. makes it hard to get out. Once I was living in NY.. I felt the same.. I'd go to other places and nothing had that much to offer on so many levels. I lost dreams to see other places.. when I did visit from NY they didn't compare on any level overall. Could just suck you in and you'd never leave as nothing would compare on the same level.

Now on the other hand. Before I went to NY I'd been to a good solid 40 different States by that time and lived in a handful of other places in the States. Too many times I'd get this sense that NYers think that things ONLY happen there. So I'd often times talk about how much more liberal things are in places like Minneapolis and Portland Oregon.. how NY politics was too far behind and such. Actually NY is quite liberal - but they are so money-making protectionism oriented that sometimes they aren't. Like anything environmental or altternative-minded progressiveness (comparing to West Coast cities like Portland, Seattle, San Francisco, etc). is almost incomprehensible - its just not discussed. Actually I didn't care for those issues all that much.. but I just liked to see a liberal NYers face cringe and contort to tell them their liberal politics is missing entire gaps that are being talked about extensively elsewhere but people are unaware of there.

Also, I'd get on them as well about Portland Oregon had the countries largest bookstores and per capita library checkouts and purchasing of books. Or about how I miss West Coast movie theaters where you watch a film in a movie theater and order beer and pizza at the same time - and how popcorn and coke for movies was so lame. Just little jabs to get a NYer from thinking they weren't actually living at the be-all end-all have-everything mecca of the world.

Anyhow I did love living there.. but it is vacuum vortex and I'm glad I got out as well. I do quite like NY people a lot though.. much more than Southern California people and such. I do miss their style. Actually to be honest, if I could pick up Manhattan and throw it intact on the West Coast I'd never leave. Or some similar version to it. People say how San Francisco is similar to Manhattan and it is to some extent, but in other ways its not even close on any level either.

Tiger Beer · Joined: 07 Feb 2003

guangho · Posted: Tue Mar 22, 2005 6:02 am Post subject:

i have lived in 20+ places in the last 17 years (since leaving Hungary) and sometimes think of my cousin, who still lives in Budapest, has roots there, has family there and will probably stay there for good. I envy him in that way.

trevorcollins · Joined: 02 Jul 2004

Ya-ta Boy · Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Location: Established in 1994

I wrote a post yesterday on the opposite topic. I've been home two months (after being away 11 years) and I've realized the prospect of staying here lacks....inspiration. I'm trying to decide if I want to get back to Korea where life was more interesting.

kangnam mafioso · Joined: 27 Jan 2003 Location: Teheranno

TheMrCul · Joined: 09 May 2003 Location: Korea, finally...

TheMrCul · Joined: 09 May 2003 Location: Korea, finally...

I've been mostly planted in one spot my whole life - (I went to one school from start to finish etc, only moved house three times) but always wanted to travel. I think I can settle in one spot quite happily, as long as I can travel every now and then. But it pisses me off when my really close friends leave the country and I can't see them! Crying or Very sad

desultude · Posted: Wed Mar 23, 2005 1:26 am Post subject:

I've moved from place to place all of my life. My family were, as I like to politely put it, "economic migrants"- that is we moved around the U.S. depending on the economy and where there were good jobs for my semi-skilled dad to earn enough to feed five children. I never lived anywhere for more that five years before I was 25. I went to 7 different schools.

Now I don't really have a place in the States that I can call home, I've just not been anyplace there for long enough to have roots. The place that is the closest is Miami, which, ironically, is one of the most transient places in the U.S. Consequently, most everyone I knew in South Beach when I lived there is gone now.

When I start feeling lonely and anxious here, I try to remember that it is probably my own existential alienation, not Korea. I think this is an important thing for us to remember- our problems with Korea are probably the same ones we would have in our home countries or anywhere else. At least that is often the case for me.

Summer Wine · Joined: 20 Mar 2005 Location: Next to a River

Its a little surprising how many people here have the same situation as myself. I must agree with the initial view about things. Though I have taken time out and returned, but every six months I get wanderlust and feel the need to move on.

Being in Korea isn't great for me, but its close to new locations and I always know its not my home and therefore I can still roam. Being back in my country, I feel chained down and start getting apprehensive about not being able to leave.

I have been travelling since I was born and while I want a place that would be home, I know that within 6 months to a year, I would want to leave, even if it is only for a couple of months. Jobs back home don't seem to provide that freedom for me.