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INCREDIBLY insensitive comment
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Leslie Cheswyck



Joined: 31 May 2003
Location: University of Western Chile

PostPosted: Sat Mar 26, 2005 5:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Korea is a shame-based society. So trying to show this guy how wrong he is will never work. Letting him get away with it will never work. Taking the "moral high ground" will never work. Guilt has no currency. You guys really think this shopkeeper went home that night full of regrets? "Gee, that was small of me. I will apologize." A good riposte will sting him by way of showing him that he opened the door to it.
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Vince



Joined: 05 May 2003

PostPosted: Sat Mar 26, 2005 6:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I agree that you shouldn't have bought your water at that shop. He and the people he surely told probably saw that as an admission of guilt on your part.

It would be too easy to repay him with a similar charade about the tank running over the girl or about Koreans walking home crying without that skating medal, but that could've gotten ugly and even violent. Even if guilt has no purchase with him (an excellent point), at least you'd walk away with none of your own. Maybe just point to your head, hold your thumb and forefinger close together, and say "small mind" as you disappointedly point at him.
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Leslie Cheswyck



Joined: 31 May 2003
Location: University of Western Chile

PostPosted: Sat Mar 26, 2005 6:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't feel guilty in the least. And I'm not gonna worry about a violent response. Not from a shopkeeper anyway.

And you're not exchanging literary theses at the Royal Academy, so pointing out his "ignorance", while making you feel better, will not command his respect.
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indiercj



Joined: 30 Jan 2003
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Sat Mar 26, 2005 7:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This reminds me of my own silliness when young, my onw ignorance about people and the world around me, the isolation, the ignorance and the stubbornness.

Then I think about the moment when things changed, the fog of silliness gone regret took it's place. I couldn't act, talk, respond the way I used to. I realized that I "matured" a bit.

I believe this to be true for anyone. I don't think you can't teach him nor change him with "better", "mightier" silliness. Besides, it may not be you. Time would teach him a lesson. Someday.
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Leslie Cheswyck



Joined: 31 May 2003
Location: University of Western Chile

PostPosted: Sat Mar 26, 2005 8:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

indiercj wrote:
This reminds me of my own silliness when young, my onw ignorance about people and the world around me, the isolation, the ignorance and the stubbornness.

Then I think about the moment when things changed, the fog of silliness gone regret took it's place. I couldn't act, talk, respond the way I used to. I realized that I "matured" a bit.

I believe this to be true for anyone. I don't think you can't teach him nor change him with "better", "mightier" silliness. Besides, it may not be you. Time would teach him a lesson. Someday.


High minded responses do not work here. The object of the retort is not to "enlighten" him but to humiliate him.

If you do not have a good zinger then the best response to rubes such as these is to make like you didn't hear the insult in the first place.

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indiercj



Joined: 30 Jan 2003
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Sat Mar 26, 2005 9:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

rapier wrote:
Leslie Cheswyck wrote:
Ah!

Schoolgirls!

Tank!

AHHHHHHH!


You say that next time you go there.

Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing

How about:

Ahhh! Hanguk ajjuma! Ilbon saram bang bang! Haha!


(use appropriate exxagerated gestures).
Another one i have said occasionally is "So, how is Pyeongyang?Have you ever been there?"


Ok.
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poddubny



Joined: 03 Aug 2004
Location: i have NO avatar privileges!

PostPosted: Sat Mar 26, 2005 9:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

hahahaha!!! stupid americans...
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Pyongshin Sangja



Joined: 20 Apr 2003
Location: I love baby!

PostPosted: Sat Mar 26, 2005 9:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I got banned for making a similar joke here, a long time ago.

Times sure have changed, now that we're all about to deported.
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Vince



Joined: 05 May 2003

PostPosted: Sat Mar 26, 2005 10:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Leslie Cheswyck wrote:
I don't feel guilty in the least. And I'm not gonna worry about a violent response. Not from a shopkeeper anyway.

And you're not exchanging literary theses at the Royal Academy, so pointing out his "ignorance", while making you feel better, will not command his respect.

I wasn't implying that you were guilty of anything. I just wouldn't want to give the guy any room to color it that way.

I understand that you were hardly in a high-brow setting, but that isn't a reason to lower yourself. It sounds like nothing would've won his respect, but you'd know you carried yourself well. That's just my take. Your mileage may vary.
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JongnoGuru



Joined: 25 May 2004
Location: peeing on your doorstep

PostPosted: Sat Mar 26, 2005 10:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

poddubny wrote:
hahahaha!!! stupid americans...


Shocked ... Confused ... Idea Oh, I see now. Sure! This is "The INCREDIBLY Insensitive Comment" thread!!

Okay, I'm rather new at this, but here goes:

The incredibly insensitive comments I was referring to had nothing to do with 9/11 or America or Americans. But then, they wouldn't have.

Hahahahaha! stupid white mexican...

So, how did I do, poddubny? Neutral
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Leslie Cheswyck



Joined: 31 May 2003
Location: University of Western Chile

PostPosted: Sat Mar 26, 2005 10:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Vince wrote:
Leslie Cheswyck wrote:
I don't feel guilty in the least. And I'm not gonna worry about a violent response. Not from a shopkeeper anyway.

And you're not exchanging literary theses at the Royal Academy, so pointing out his "ignorance", while making you feel better, will not command his respect.

I wasn't implying that you were guilty of anything. I just wouldn't want to give the guy any room to color it that way.

I understand that you were hardly in a high-brow setting, but that isn't a reason to lower yourself. It sounds like nothing would've won his respect, but you'd know you carried yourself well. That's just my take. Your mileage may vary.



Hey, I'm not the OP, remember?

This shopkeeper wouldn't see it that way. What he would see is that he got bested, humiliated, and lost face. All because he opened his mouth. Fear of the traumatic experience of losing face is very often what keeps Koreans in line in the first place.

Instead, what he did see was how fun it was to insult this foreign barbarian. He is emboldened to do it again.
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Knappstar



Joined: 05 Jan 2005

PostPosted: Sun Mar 27, 2005 3:32 am    Post subject: Clear up a couple of things.. Reply with quote

Hey Guys,

Just clearing some things up.

Van Islander, I wasn't so much offended as just caught completely off guard that the guy said that. My father watched the buildings fall from 10 blocks away( he works in the city ). If he had happened to be in one of those buildings, then I would've responded a bit differently, I'm sure.

Saharzie, that thing about not taking the change with 2 hands was a joke...little breezy over your head? Smile

Finally, I had already put my money on the counter, and he asked me where I was from while he was making my change..I wasn't about to ask for a refund with my non-existent Korean. (Keep in mind it was my 3rd day on the peninsula.) Rest assured I haven't been back to this particular store.

Never expected this post to generate so much feedback..its kinda fun. Smile

Later guys

Andy
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rapier



Joined: 16 Feb 2003

PostPosted: Sun Mar 27, 2005 4:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

One insensitive, stinging remark calls for another. Its the only way,as leslie cheswyck has pointed out.
I expected more practical advice from the rest of you, not some "turn the other cheek, make him feel bad by smiling at him" nonsense.

So come on...any witty or humiliating ripostes out there?
How about "Yes..but many Korea people die in twin towers, haha!"

or.."yes, japan very clever, kill Korea people haha!"
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Leslie Cheswyck



Joined: 31 May 2003
Location: University of Western Chile

PostPosted: Sun Mar 27, 2005 5:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Here here rapier,

But we mustn't be too hard on the newb. He didn't know any better. I didn't when I first got here. So he gets some slack. Just chalk it up and move on.
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