Korean Job Discussion Forums

[itaewonguy]

having met many people in korea over my 8 years here..I have heard of so many people talking about their Ex girlfriends. so many guys have had ex girlfriends.. I dont mean just casual sex partners that came and gone.
but actual girlfriends..from 1 week - when ever..
guys being dumped?
guys dumping their girls..

what were the main reasons of breaking up?

unfortunately I cant go first.. becuase I have never broken up with a k girl. I have stopped seeing some.. but it was never really serious boyfriend girlfriend things.. we were just seeing each other casually and then we both just stopped calling.. but left it as it was. so
and only a couple times I had a couple arguements with girls and never called them again after that.. and those were due to them being stupid about normal things.. one comes to mind.. I asked this one girl I slept with I asked her how old she was.. she wouldnt tell me.. so I was ok..
then a couple days later I asked her again. she SAID I TOLD YOU DONT ASK ME THAT! im like WTF! so I was like well if you want to ask me all these personal questions about ,me. I cant even ask you your AGE!
WHATEVER..

so anyway people.. what caused your breakups..?

[adventureman]

..

[shakuhachi]

Does being dumped count? Because in a technical sense, I never break up with girls.

There was this one Korean girl I was dating for a few weeks. I met her on the street and brought her back to my place. Anyway, we were dating a few weeks but she was becoming upset by my suspicious behavior, like not answering the phone, not being able to meet on weekends etc. Because of this, she dumped me. I still met her a handful of times after that, but not long after she returned to Korea.

[Blind Willie]

Broke up and got back together with the same girl four times now. Mostly due to my having no plans to stay here in Korea until I die. Culture has also been a problem, but we got most of that worked out now.

[Derrek]

Lots of reasons. Many of them seem to "play" around with up to several guys hanging at once (if she can, she probably will).

Reasons I broke up were communication, incompatibility, cultural/political arguments. After 1 to 3 months or so, it can become boring if you don't communicate enough. Also, some of the girls seem to be "too busy" much of the time, and given how much I know some of these girls date around, I just don't have time for it and stop calling.

I recently lost two female friends in the past few months. The first one starting acting all weird after her Western bf broke up with her (he wanted to marry in the future, and she didn't, so he ended it). She seemed to have no outlet for her anger, and threw it all at me. This all happened at the same time as the ES scandal, so she got all paranoid about that, also. For some reason I will never understand, I became a "bad" foreigner or something (never even held hands with the girl -- we were just good friends).

The second girl flipped out 2 weeks ago because I was 5 minutes late in meeting her (even though she knew I was late). I have to come a long way to meet her, and am often 5 to 10 minutes late, but I always let her know about when I'd be late. She is currently jobless and under a lot of stress, and she flipped when I was 5 minutes late once again (big hairy deal). She told me, "I think I'm just going to go home!" I responded, saying, "Fine, go home!" (I had traveled an hour to get to her). We haven't spoken since.

So yeah, Itaewonguy, I can see what you mean by the girls getting all weird and stupid over dumb things. And they expect you to crawl back to them and apologize for them losing their mind or something. I guess that's why the culture doesn't always suit me here.

[itaewonguy]

why is this thread not getting more replys but getting almost 500 hits?
you trying to make me believe that no one has broken up with their k partner? come on people!!!
I know some of you personally that have broken up!
lets here it people!!

[Derrek]

[peemil]

Honestly. I'm yet to meet a Korean woman that I like.

[diablo3]

Because she wanted to marry the same year after meeting (this year). Well, her friends pushed me to do it, but why push. Proposal to meet the parents after 2 weeks. Also, we could not communicate well to each other.

After a first meeting, her friend spoke to me for 30 minutes about marrying her, talking about what is stopping me. For whoever's sake, I only met her once. So, it was all or nothing, guess what I chose. Enough said.

[chickenwhat]

Since I got here I noticed most of the Kgirls I've dated have been dating other guys too. Just go with it I guess. So it's not so much breaking up with someone but more like not getting round to seeing them again. But then you get a text or an email months later saying let's catch up...

Or if you do directly say "I don't want to see you again" it gives the Kgirl an excuse to drink too much and call/text incessantly all night long.

Sometimes I miss the conversation you have with western girls about what's happening with "the relationship". At least you know they've been doing some thinking!

[MissT]

Well, I am also in the 'dumped' category...

I dated my kbf and it was out of this world. He wined and dined me, picked me up from school when it rained, met his parents, etc. We went hiking and rollerblading every weekend. I didn't think it was possible for anyone to be so considerate and in love, as he acted toward me. Asked me to marry him. I fell head over heals and accepted. We made plans to marry in August and move to Canada. His family was super supportive and k mom and I were going to go hanbok shopping this month in Korea.

I got accepted into university this September in Canada to get my Bed and teachers certificate. He came back with me for 4 weeks and we had an awesome time. He went back to Korea and came to visit me at Christmas and began acting strangely, i.e. not affectionate, etc. I was confused and didn't know what to think. While he was here he postponed the wedding by one year. I was okay with that, and we made plans for me to come back to Korea to work for another year.

I finally got an email from him, and I quote, "l can hang out with foreign friends but maybe not as a wife. maybe l'm conservative ?"

He never really elaborated on what exactly that means. Frankly I am glad now to find out about his surprising thoughts on race. I just wish that he would have told me when I first met him, and it would have saved me a lot of heart ache.

[shakuhachi]

[waterbaby]

Miss T that's such a sad story What heartache you must be going through. How long ago did you guys break up? Are you still in Canada? Or back in Korea?

I broke up with the first k-guy I dated because he was too clingy. He always called, always wanted to know where I was, what I was doing etc. If I didn't answer my phone because I was in the shower, he'd call my roommate! *shudder*

We only dated for about 6 weeks... he was pretty shattered when I called it off and sulked and sulked and stalked me a little bit. I didn't know how to handle it as I'd never experienced anything like that kind of behaviour before!

I broke up with my now husband once while we were still dating - about 3 months into our relationship. He hounded me with phone calls and sms' and even came around to my house but my awesome roommate wouldn't let him in

I was so pissed off with him that I couldn't see him, couldn't talk to him. He finally figured out that I needed my space (he's been pretty good at quickly figuring out my needs ... ) and he gave me space and a few days later when i was no longer pissed off with him, I was ready to talk. We sorted it out and that's the last big fight we had

Most of my previous relationships (the non serious ones in my late teens/early 20s) always ended simply through lack of communication - I don't call, neither do they. In my experience, this doesn't happen with Korean guys.

[Zyzyfer]

[MissT]

"How long ago did you guys break up? Are you still in Canada? Or back in Korea?"

-Broke up at the end of February. Still in Canada, though I plan to come back in August or September. I still really love Korea and Koreans, and would like to come back to work for maybe 1 or 2 more years.

"Probably parental blocking there. "

-I talked to a mutual friend recently, and she said that his parents were choked about it. His dad didn't even speak to him for a week. His parents were so nice to me. Every time I talked to his mom she would tell me how much she loves and misses me. I was invited to many dinners, went to all of their birthdays, and even went to his brothers wedding. I just really don't see that they were involved in his decision. I guess it is a possibility, but I will never know...
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