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OK to be unmarried and living together in Korea?
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tzechuk



Joined: 20 Dec 2004

PostPosted: Wed Mar 30, 2005 6:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Don't you decide who your next of kin is?!
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kiwiheather2



Joined: 29 Mar 2005

PostPosted: Tue Apr 05, 2005 3:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I thought I might see a lawyer and get a "Living Will" made up so that if anything happened I'd have a legal document passing right of decision over to my partner. Especially since the Terri Schaivo story has been in the media, its made me think that I need to plan for any eventuality.
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casey's moon



Joined: 14 Sep 2004
Location: Daejeon

PostPosted: Tue Apr 05, 2005 3:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I wouldn't bother lying as it isn't necessary (I lived in sin with my Korean fiance -- now husband) for 6 months and no one cared, and it could cause trouble down the line. Plus, you'll have to keep up the lie with co-workers, etc., which will be annoying, especially if you're making wedding plans while in Korea.

As for the next of kin thing, I think that if you list each other as next of kin in your passport, you should be considered as such, at least while you're outside of your home country. Not 100% sure on this, but definitely you'll have more say than any other person, other than each other's parents.
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mindmetoo



Joined: 02 Feb 2004

PostPosted: Tue Apr 05, 2005 3:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Koreans seem to have an odd way of living together. They get married, hold the big wedding ceremony, but then what they don't tell the parents is they don't go to their Gu office and register the marriage. They wait a year. If the marriage works out, they register. If not, then there is no official taint of divorce.
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PolyChronic Time Girl



Joined: 15 Dec 2004
Location: Korea Exited

PostPosted: Tue Apr 05, 2005 4:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think that's a good idea...especially since parents put a bunch of pressure on their 30-year old kids to get married a week after meeting each other.
I'm doing the opposite way here....my fiance and I are going to register our marriage first, but we won't have our ceremony for another few months.
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kiwiheather2



Joined: 29 Mar 2005

PostPosted: Tue Apr 05, 2005 5:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I agree- I dont like the idea of lying and I'm sure I'd slip up at some point.

But ...it'd be silly to (potentially) lose a job solely because I was living with my boyfriend!

I'll check out the 'nest of kin' on the passport issue. Cheers!
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margaret



Joined: 14 Oct 2003

PostPosted: Tue Apr 05, 2005 5:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

My boyfriend is living with me in my school-paid-for apartment. I'm teaching and he's here on a multiple-entry tourist visa. The first thing I asked through the recruiter, even before the phone interview was whether he could live with me. I also asked it during the phone interview. I wanted to make sure there was no problem with the bosses (a married couple). They are fine with us and have done nice things for both of us.
However they said the "students" wouldn't understand--I think it's actually thier parents--so to everyone else we say we are married. It's the best of both worlds. No fearing being caught for lying by the boss, no hassles trying to explain our relationship to other Koreans.
Margaret
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kiwiheather2



Joined: 29 Mar 2005

PostPosted: Tue Apr 05, 2005 5:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey Margaret

Thanks for your post! Smile

It's nice to know that you can be honest with your bosses and they'll understand. Hopefully mine will be as liberal.

Fair enough that you aren't telling your kids/parents, if it causes stress for them (and therefore the school) then the path of least resistance is the way to go.
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tzechuk



Joined: 20 Dec 2004

PostPosted: Tue Apr 05, 2005 6:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think Korean people are pretty OK with foreign couples living together. They must have seen it thousands of times on TV... heh...
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crazylemongirl



Joined: 23 Mar 2003
Location: almost there...

PostPosted: Tue Apr 05, 2005 10:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

tzechuk wrote:
I think Korean people are pretty OK with foreign couples living together. They must have seen it thousands of times on TV... heh...


no they aren't. my city government hastened a move to split up roommates as they turned out to be a man-woman pairing.

As for the next of Kin thing. In Korea the wife has jack all rights when it comes to medical care of her husband. How that effects waygooks whose parents are 1000s of Kms away I'm not sure. Perhaps something to check with the embassy.

Honestly people are going to assume that your married. So operate under a don't ask don't tell policy. If they ask directly change the subject or lie.
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JongnoGuru



Joined: 25 May 2004
Location: peeing on your doorstep

PostPosted: Tue Apr 05, 2005 10:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

crazylemongirl wrote:
Simple soultion: Lie. They aren't going to be looking at your marriage certificate and it will make life 10 times easier. Chances are if you're living together they are going to assume your married anyway.


Great! Unless, of course, the Koreans that you're lying to are as stubborn, as obstreperous, and as meddlesome as I would be. And I won't be put off!!! Evil or Very Mad Make with the marriage certificate -- pronto! And let's see those wedding bands on 24/7, or else!!

Hey, I might have something more positive to contribute here had a similar thread I started months ago not been yanked after a few posts. Or was it yanked before a single post was made? Can't recall exactly.

Wait, I remember now. It was right in the middle of the Playboy firestorm, and I had titled my thread "SHACK UP!" Hmm...
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MissT



Joined: 06 Apr 2005
Location: Korea

PostPosted: Thu Apr 07, 2005 5:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

There was a couple at my school who were unmarried. They were up front about it, and my director didn't seem to mind. She hired them knowing about it. She got them a really nice two bedroom apartment and everything. I think it would just depend on the director of your school. If you��re qualified for the job, I don't think it matters. Though I'm sure the director wasn't telling the parents about it. Very Happy
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