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Korean Job Discussion Forums
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princess
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: soul of Asia
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 Posted: Fri Apr 08, 2005 1:28 am Post subject: |
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| Derrek wrote: |
| Harin wrote: |
she is 32 and doesn't have a father....well, at least the good news is that you wouldn't have a hard time of getting her family's blessing.  |
On that note, her mother does know about me, and hasn't complained. She's just a little suprised and curious.
All of her children are in their 30s and unmarried (my gf is the youngest of the three). I asked my gf if that fact bothered her mother, and she said that recently she has made it known that it does. My guess is that her mom would just be happy to see one of them marry.
Her sister, however, is something of a roadblock from what I gather... my gf is not anxious to mention me to her. My gf stayed overnight here for the first time last month, and had a huge fight with her sister about it. Her sister wants to control my gf, because my gf is the "baby" of the family.
On another note, my gf already has a US Tourist Visa, and has been to NY, so I don't have to worry much about that one. |
hey Derreck...sounds like the guy I am seeing. Not only do his parents hate anyone who is not Korean but he has a divorced 40 year old sister who lives with him and tries to control him. He said he erased 3 of my recent cyworld messages because of her. |
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princess
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: soul of Asia
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| Posted: Fri Apr 08, 2005 1:42 am Post subject: |
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| Derrek wrote: |
Hey, I like her.. I really do. I'm just not at the "I WANT TO MARRY YOU AND BE WITH YOU FOREVER AND YOU TO BE MY WIFE AND HAVE MILLIONS OF BABIES" stage. Is it wrong to want to wait a while and see what I really feel? Or to see if we are truly compatible?
We happened to sit and watch Oprah's latest "He's just not into you" story the other night. That show made me angry. It's as if Oprah is telling people (with the help of that guy) to give up on their boyfriend/husband if they aren't kissing your ass 24/7 because they, "just aren't into you."
That guy who wrote the book is easily laughing his way to the bank -- playing off of female fears to sell books. Some cases he was right, but I can see too many girls getting emotionally insecure VERY quickly after that episode. I think a lot of healthy, non-movie fantasy-type relationships are going to be damaged after that trash of a show.
I wished so much that I could say, "HEY, STUPID!!! Sometimes men don't call every day, even if they want to, because the WOMAN often does nothing to reciprocate. Personally, if the woman isn't calling me at least half as much as I call her, I back off. I don't want her to think I'm a stalker or something." |
Thank you very much Derreck!!! Someone out there agrees with me. I saw that show a few days after I had an AMAZING time with my guy and it got my insecurities all boiled up. I was thinking...darn...I guess no guy I have ever been with has been that into me. The calling thing gets me going. Some Korean gilrs insist that many Korean men don't call that much and the girl does not call much either so they both end up wondering why the other does not call. I am actually phone phobic. I usually just text my guy and my friends. I rarely call people and then I complain that they don't call me. I am just paralyzed with fear about calling my guy so I don't call unless we are meeting that day and I am calling to tell him I am at the subway station now...Last Saturday when we met I sent him a message. He texed me back then he called. I didn't answer my phone because I didn't hear it ringing. Then I texed him again and he called. This time I answered. We tried to set up a meeting time and I told him my battery was about to die. I thought so. I texed him and asked him if I could meet him that night. You know the guy on Oprah would say if someone calls you on THE day of and asks to see you it's only a booty call. Not in my case. I think many people in Korea call on THE day of to see someone. My friends do it, too. Anyways, my guy told me to call him when I got to the subway and I still texed him. I am really a phone phobic... |
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mercury
Joined: 05 Dec 2004
Location: Pusan
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| Posted: Fri Apr 08, 2005 4:23 am Post subject: |
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| tardisrider wrote: |
I don't understand the desire to marry or have children. If I happen to meet someone and love her and want to get married, then I'll consider getting married. If I don't meet anyone, I won't get married. I'm not fussed either way. I'd never, ever, ever think "I hope to be married some day." Likewise, I have no absolutely no interest in having children. I think that children are people: I like some of them. I don't like most of them. They don't interest me at all just because they happen to be humans who are very young.
I do realize that most people who have children are fond of them. I'm fond of grapefruit juice, but I understand that other people couldn't care less about my grapefruit juice--whether it did somethng cute or got run over by a truck.
I recognize the biological need for children to perpetuate the species, but actually if the species were to die out, it wouldn't matter. It's not as if we would be sitting around saying "Oh poor us, we're extinct." |
That was great! |
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Leslie Cheswyck
Joined: 31 May 2003
Location: University of Western Chile
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| Posted: Fri Apr 08, 2005 4:45 am Post subject: |
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The earth has tilted on its axis: I'm agreeing with the Bobster.
I was in a similar situation several years ago. Woman pressuring me for marriage, saying I "promised" her marriage when I made no such promise. Going with the "you spoiled me" angle. Crap. She knew she wasn't married to me when she came up to my place...night after night after night. |
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