| View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
tzechuk
Joined: 20 Dec 2004
|
 Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2005 6:30 am Post subject: |
 |
|
| Deconstructor wrote: |
| Daechidong Waygookin wrote: |
| Mariage is the most important thing in the world. There is a sanctity to marriage not found anywhere else. |
Anyone who writes a conservative claptrap like the quote above is the first person you should never listen to.
In your case, if she doesn't want to be with you, then there isn't much you can do about it. You can try to sit down and talk about it calmly and rationally, but ultimately if she wants out then so do you. |
With all due respect, what you have written makes me sick, deconstructor. I am sorry, but it does. It's precisely the kind of attitude you have that makes people think of marriage as something trivial.
People get divorced FAR TOO easily these days! |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
Teufelswacht
Joined: 06 Sep 2004
Location: Land Of The Not Quite Right
|
| Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2005 6:49 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Quote: |
| People get divorced FAR TOO easily these days! |
And people get married FAR TOO quickly these days! |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
tzechuk
Joined: 20 Dec 2004
|
| Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2005 6:51 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Teufelswacht wrote: |
| Quote: |
| People get divorced FAR TOO easily these days! |
And people get married FAR TOO quickly these days! |
Yes, I agree with this. People get married far too quickly... then they get divorced, thinking that they don't really have to be responsible for their own action.
It's sickening! |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
poddubny
Joined: 03 Aug 2004
Location: i have NO avatar privileges!
|
| Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2005 6:52 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Daechidong Waygookin wrote: |
Mariage is the most important thing in the world. |
after hockey and krispy kremes. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Apple Scruff
Joined: 29 Oct 2003
|
| Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2005 9:40 am Post subject: |
|
|
| tzechuk wrote: |
| Teufelswacht wrote: |
| Quote: |
| People get divorced FAR TOO easily these days! |
And people get married FAR TOO quickly these days! |
Yes, I agree with this. People get married far too quickly... then they get divorced, thinking that they don't really have to be responsible for their own action.
It's sickening! |
Relax. Marriage is just a boyfriend/girlfriend deal, only with a certificate and various tax considerations. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
canadian_in_korea
Joined: 20 Jun 2004
Location: South Korea
|
| Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2005 1:43 pm Post subject: |
|
|
First, hang in there onewaytraffic....and second ...I hope your wife is doing her best to make this as easy as possible for your daughter....often times people forget the ones who are most affected by the decisions that they make. It seems that you don't want the divorce, but your wife does...? You should definately be in touch with a lawyer, if she is intent on getting the divorce don't get caught in a pickle and have her spring something on you when you are not prepared at all. If she doesn't want to go to counselling, or try to work things out between you....definately get yourself a lawyer.
I think its easy for everyone to hand out advice and say "save your marriage", however people also have to realize that as one person there is only so much you can do. If the second party involved is not interested in saving the relationship, then there is nothing to be done. Yes, people get divorced far too easily today, people get married far to easily today, but people also have to make what they feel are the best choices for all involved. If problems can't be solved, is it best to stay in a relationship for the sake of "saving your marriage"....so you can hate each other eventually? If you have children is this best for them....do you think they won't know that mom and dad hate each other? I think everyone has limits, I told my husband from the time we first met, there are two reasons why I will divorce you...1-you have an affair....2-you hit me...I'm gone.
Onewaytraffic, if you have tried to talk to your wife about reconciliation...and have had no luck....then its time to start thinking about you and your daughter now. Good luck and as I said, hang in there. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Daechidong Waygookin
Joined: 22 Nov 2004
Location: No Longer on Dave's. Ive quit.
|
| Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2005 3:30 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Deconstructor wrote: |
| Daechidong Waygookin wrote: |
| Mariage is the most important thing in the world. There is a sanctity to marriage not found anywhere else. |
Anyone who writes a conservative claptrap like the quote above is the first person you should never listen to.
In your case, if she doesn't want to be with you, then there isn't much you can do about it. You can try to sit down and talk about it calmly and rationally, but ultimately if she wants out then so do you. |
This is the wonderful viewpoint brought to us from the left. Where marriage is just a casual thing, easily broken and forgotten. Have a spat? divorce. Something bothering you? Divorce. No wonder the family unit is disappearing. This society is going to hell because of people like this guy. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
the saint
Joined: 09 Dec 2003
Location: not there yet...
|
| Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2005 4:50 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Apple Scruff wrote: |
Relax. Marriage is just a boyfriend/girlfriend deal, only with a certificate and various tax considerations. |
Well you're the first person I've ever heard say that when you find a boy/girlfriend you make a commitment to make the relationship work for life. Come to think of it, when you started your last casual relationship, what vows did you make? Or perhaps your definition of 'vow' dffers too. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
tzechuk
Joined: 20 Dec 2004
|
| Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2005 5:13 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Apple Scruff wrote: |
| Relax. Marriage is just a boyfriend/girlfriend deal, only with a certificate and various tax considerations. |
 |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Apple Scruff
Joined: 29 Oct 2003
|
| Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2005 6:51 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| tzechuk wrote: |
| Apple Scruff wrote: |
| Relax. Marriage is just a boyfriend/girlfriend deal, only with a certificate and various tax considerations. |
|
Don't look at me like that. I'm right. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Daechidong Waygookin
Joined: 22 Nov 2004
Location: No Longer on Dave's. Ive quit.
|
| Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2005 7:22 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Apple Scruff wrote: |
| tzechuk wrote: |
| Apple Scruff wrote: |
| Relax. Marriage is just a boyfriend/girlfriend deal, only with a certificate and various tax considerations. |
|
Don't look at me like that. I'm right. |
You're single, arent you? |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
lastat06513
Joined: 18 Mar 2003
Location: Sensus amo Caesar , etiamnunc victus amo uni plebian
|
| Posted: Mon Apr 11, 2005 12:57 am Post subject: |
|
|
The problem in Korea is that Koreans mostly marry for all the wrong reasons; money, status and stability/security that just isn't there anymore.
Now that Korea's great "economic bubble" has burst, alot of women who saw themselves in a secure situation are now seeing it blown into the wind.
Case in point; Some Korean girls marry soldiers because they can bring them to the US and think the military lifestyle can support them. But once they get a dose of American culture coupled with the job shortages in some regions, they run and try to get a divorce in order to keep citizenship at least for the burden they got for being married (that happened to a friend of mine recently)
When I was younger, I thought that getting married would be cool; someone by my side who can support me and encourage me when the chips are down. But now, I am finding it to be a complete hassle trying to find "Ms. Right" to get hitched with.
That's why, from this thread; I am going stag....Thats right, I am going the single's route from this point forward.
Sorry for highjacking the thread, but I needed a place to rant
Anyway...good luck with the divorce! |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
redbird
Joined: 07 Mar 2005
|
| Posted: Mon Apr 11, 2005 10:56 am Post subject: |
|
|
| OneWayTraffic wrote: |
| Having a wife who idealised me while we were dating didn't actually help much as the reality may have fallen short of her expectations. I want to make this work; if I can. |
As a friend of mine put it when talking about a relationship of his that went south: "She started out thinking I was perfect and there was only one direction her opinion could go from there."
Good luck with trying to work this out. It's especially important when there's a child involved (but I probably don't need to tell you that). |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
tzechuk
Joined: 20 Dec 2004
|
| Posted: Mon Apr 11, 2005 4:56 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Apple Scruff wrote: |
| Don't look at me like that. I'm right. |
You are far from being bloody right, Apple Scruff.
I started out living with my husband before we married. He and I thought we would just live together and not bother with getting married - so we lived together for 2 years.
One day, out of the blue, he went and bought me a bunch of flowers, told me he wanted me to be his wife. He told me he wanted to know for sure that I were his because he loved me and didn't want to risk losing me.
People asked me afterwards if it felt any between living together and being married. Physically, the living arrangements are just the same. We still live under the same roof, share the same bed, go places together etc... but emotionally it's a HUGE difference. There is a sense of belonging, a sense of unity, a sense of security. You can't just get up and say, I want to move out or I want us to separate, like you used to when you were just living together and not married.
With marriage comes a different type of responsibility that just simply does NOT exist in a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship.
If you think that marriage is just a girlfriend/boyfriend deal with an extra piece of paper, then I hope to goodness you will NEVER get married because I doubt that you will ever be prepared for the kind of emotional maturity required to work a marriage. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
nateyb
Joined: 28 Dec 2003
Location: witness protection program (or Bundang)
|
| Posted: Mon Apr 11, 2005 6:17 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| crazylemongirl wrote: |
Side rant*:
I don't think that it's right for people to diss the OP about his decisions, it's his life. He asked what the procedures are and if people suggest a few other options that's cool but in the end he has to live his life and it's up to him how he can do this in a way that makes him happy.
If you want to do a discussion on the sanctity of marriage start a damn thread this isn't the place. |
Damn Skippy. It is not our place to pass judgement on this guy because of your views on the institution of marriage. Get off the soap box and if you have some help for the guy, help him. Otherwise, shut up. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
FAQ
Search
Memberlist
Usergroups
Register
Profile
Log in to check your private messages
Log in
