Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Manner of Speaking]

I just started working at a new location, a great place, very professional, and I enjoy my job. I've met a new teacher working here, however, and I must confess I feel a strong attraction to her. It's her first time teaching overseas, teaching in Korea, and everything is new to her. She's looking for lots of things to do and places to explore on the weekends.

We only met each other three weeks ago. I've sensed a (possible) mutual attraction, but for the past week I've been standoffish; my job is new, there are a lot of new challenges, I've got some very clear goals I want to work on for the year, and just right now I really want to concentrate on my work and teaching. Having feelings about someone I work with almost seems too much to handle, just right now. I think I've made that apparent to her, and I think I've pretty much blown any chances with her.

My question is, what do you think of dating or getting involved with someone you work with every day at the same school? Is it not a good idea to 'crap where you eat', or am I just rationalizing? Being a coward? If I had asked her out and she had said no, would that have just made things akward in the work environment?

It's not that I wanted to just get her in the sack. I really like her. I'd like to take her someday to Ko Samet and show her the most beautiful sunrise in the world.

I've always thought that sometimes in any relationship, love is not enough. Circumstances and personal situations are also relevant. Am I a putz for thinking this?

[crazylemongirl]

Yeah dating work mates has the potential for disaster if things go pear shaped. Because the last thing you want to do is go to work every day to see your ex.

Even if they go great you may run into some problems. Other colleagues might not be so happy, boss etc.

But if you think she's someone worth pursuing despite the pitfalls go for it. Life's too short.

[the eye]

by the sounds of it, she is also a foreigner?
well, at least, in the event of a breakup, things will go much easier.
if you're sure the feeling is mutual, go fer it.

ahhhh, spring!

[captain kirk]

Sounds allright to me. Sounding a bit poncy on the profesional atmosphere bit; we all know how one day wears on after another at the grind. Do you have a history of freaking out in relationships. If not, why resist? What's the worst thing that can happen, regret? I work with a couple of laid back Aussies shacked up together, they do all right.

[Tiger Beer]

Hmm.. well, she's new.. you could have just taken things as it comes.. no need to push the idea that you aren't interested (when you were).. and get standoffish (for no real apparent reason except you want to focus on teaching). You can have friends (from work) and teach at the same time.

She's new.. you are interested.. sounds like a good friendship to start with.. and just show/tell her what she might need to know about Korea, etc.

Just because you work together and are opposite genders.. doesn't mean you have to think so much into the future about what it means to talk to her and hangout with her now.

[rapier]

If its a korean, don't.
If its a different nationality- Western, Chinese, whatever- go for it. they're much more sane and straightforward, confidential, mature, etc etc.....

[Manner of Speaking]

Thanks for the advice, everybody. I've nobody here to ask about it, without spreading rumors. Yes, she's Canadian too, I don't have a history of freaking out in relationships...

...and yes, you are seriously right, I could have just just taken things as they come without pushing the idea that I wasn't interested (when I was) and get standoffish. It would be a GREAT friendship to start off with...however, I think I may have blown it with her already.

Now, next question, folks...

After you have made the mistake of coming across as standoffish, how do you retreat from that gracefully and show that you do indeed like her?

I think I've just joined the list of the intensely stupid.

[rapier]

Love is in the air..in every sight and every sound..

Don't worry manner of speaking, you've done exactly the right thing. Only fools rush in.
Gradually...is the name of the game.

[dogbert]

[sparkx]

I agree with the others..


bang 'er

[camelina]

I say go for it too. Lots of couples work together here, just take a look at all the couple positions offered.

Sure if things go sour it may suck... but we are not 15 anymore. I think by this age it would be easier to maintain a professional relationship at work.

I'd love to work with my boyfriend, just more things to share together.


Go for it!

[hellofaniceguy]

If you are an ADULT...and she is also...then you already know the answer to your own question.
In the unlikely event you don't......
1st choice...don't. Could be a nightmare for your time in korea. Could be happiness forever...who knows.
But...what you really should be doing is TALKING to HER! Be up front, honest and discuss the pitfalls if you break up and both be mature enough to handle it and the job.

[chronicpride]

[Derrek]

Seriously, though... I dated a Korean co-worker when I first got here, and we broke up. The remaining 7 months of the contract were absolute HELL on Earth!

[sadsac]

Ask her out for drinks or a coffee. Work on the friendship and see where it goes. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Change the manner in which you interact with her, so that she sees that there is some interest on your part.