|
Korean Job Discussion Forums
"The Internet's Meeting Place for ESL/EFL Teachers from Around the World!"
|
| View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
Tiger Beer
Joined: 07 Feb 2003
|
 Posted: Fri Apr 29, 2005 11:21 pm Post subject: |
 |
|
| Cedar wrote: |
| Actually it's funny, cause we talk LOTS now, even though we are both speaking 2nd languages (and my Korean is much better than my Chinese!)... we both value communication. Sometimes I feel like he just wants to talk stuff to death... but, you know, this whole thing about "women value communication"????!!! I think PEOPLE value communication, but when you hook up with someone, and you think, this is just this insane PHYSICAL thing, you don't care about communication. But then (and this is why I say LOVE) the connection was strong enough after hanging out for two weeks that I traveled all the way to his hometown during my next vacation... so, despite lack of being able to speak, you can get a sense of who this person is, and whether they are good... I mean, kind and what not. I don't think you need to ask questions and hear answers to learn everything. Open your eyes and observe. And even though once I broke up with him cause it was TOO HARD to deal with the differences between us, I couldn't-- and instead, I started studying Chinese more and a couple months later when I could talk better, I called out of the blue and I think we've both known since then (that was March 2003) that we couldn't avoid the fact that with all the difficulties in the relationship, we had ALREADY committed our hearts. |
Just curious.. your husband is Chinese and you are Canadian.. and you chose Korea to live? How? Why? Its interesting.. |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
Zyzyfer
Joined: 29 Jan 2003
Location: who, what, where, when, why, how?
|
| Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2005 6:33 am Post subject: |
|
|
| jaderedux wrote: |
| Yes it is a basic human need. So is taking a crap, farting and burping, scratching one "nuts" or "hooch". However, I do not do any of those in public or whenever I feel the urge. |
......................................hooches need scratching?  |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Billy Pilgrim
Joined: 08 Sep 2004
|
| Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2005 10:35 am Post subject: |
|
|
| jaderedux wrote: |
Yes it is a basic human need. So is taking a crap, farting and burping, scratching one "nuts" or "hooch". However, I do not do any of those in public or whenever I feel the urge.
|
Suddenly we are talking about having sex in public here? Either you've had more worldly sexual partners than the rest of your post would lead me to believe, or your analogy is just flat out poor. Which is it?
| jaderedux wrote: |
We are lucky animals us humans we have been granted reason and thought processes. We don't have to bow to every basic instinct.
|
I think that the girl next to me, talking to me, at the bar is beautiful and interesting. I reason that I (and she) will get great pleasure out of safe, consensual sex. Basic instinct, as you put it, would be for me to try to inseminate her and get her to bear my child while I rush off to try again elsewhere. Ever heard of meeting things halfway? Since when has it been "the primevial way" or "the absolutely none until you've gone out on a handful of dates and it looks respectful"? Do you have your partners swear that they love you in writing to protect this full-scale desertion of natural sexual attraction?
| jaderedux wrote: |
But to do something so intimate ......and it is...we are talking swapping some bodily fluids (metaphorically) with no more thought than you would put into taking a crap is beyond my comprehension.
|
Would you mind taking the words you are unceremoniously cramming into my mouth and putting them back in your big bag of "Jumping to Factually Incorrect Conclusions"?
| jaderedux wrote: |
IMHO....random sex is just whacking off with a partner.
|
You either have a great hand or you are desperately trundling out ridiculous comparisons to back-up a simple moral choice you have made that is totally cool by me, but that doesn't make those who do not practice it monsters or heathens. Which?
| jaderedux wrote: |
Not all sex has to be sanctified by marriage but I truely find "recreational sex" abhorrent (sp?) and to be honest a bit sad.
|
A bit more, like addressing "whyit's abhorrent and sad" here, would make your argument much more....what's the word....trenchant? Readable? Understandable? I mean, I could go on about how I think that people who don't have recreeational sex to be uptight prudes who have no concept of the brevity of life. But it's all meaningless babble designed to describe my righteous indignation without actually addressing the cause of such. In a word: pointless.
| jaderedux wrote: |
I was raised to have some respect for myself, my body and other people. I don't think of them as a racquet ball game or quick scratch to my random itch.
|
See, this quote raises an interesting point: do you consider having sex with someone disrespecting them? And that only offering dewy-eyed gesticulations towards love can you make up for this disrespect?
Or can you not comprehend that - just like a racquet ball game - the whole thing is consensual on both sides (usually, of course, but feel free to choose some exceptions to prove your point), and that when I play racquetball with someone, generally the other person is aware they are in a racquetball game as well. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Billy Pilgrim
Joined: 08 Sep 2004
|
| Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2005 10:42 am Post subject: |
|
|
Oh, and for the record, in case you feel the need to stereotype me in any reply you make:
I have a girlfriend right now, would never cheat on her in a million years. The sex is great, but it doesn't bind our relationship, define it, or offer itself up as proof of our love. That's what, like, the entire time I spend with her is for. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
jaderedux
Joined: 10 Jan 2003
Location: Lurking outside Seoul
|
| Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2005 5:26 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Quote: |
See, this quote raises an interesting point: do you consider having sex with someone disrespecting them? And that only offering dewy-eyed gesticulations towards love can you make up for this disrespect?
Or can you not comprehend that - just like a racquet ball game - the whole thing is consensual on both sides (usually, of course, but feel free to choose some exceptions to prove your point), and that when I play racquetball with someone, generally the other person is aware they are in a racquetball game as well. |
I don't consider sex disrespectful not in the slightest in fact just the opposite. I think of it as special and intensely intimate. I do not consider sport sex intimate nor satisfying nor interesting. If you do good for you.
I am realistic. Not all sex is within the bounds of marriage. I, personally, don't feel like I have to succumb to every urge I have.
| Quote: |
| Suddenly we are talking about having sex in public here? Either you've had more worldly sexual partners than the rest of your post would lead me to believe, or your analogy is just flat out poor. Which is it? |
Um...sorry my analogy is so poor...what I meant was not every single urge that you have must be attended to immediately just because you have have them.
Yes, I do feel random, recreational sex is boring. Perhaps sad and aborrent was a bit strong but none the less something I just don't engage in myself nor do I understand the appeal.
People always say "oh it is consensual" "no one gets hurt" I wish that was true but so often I have seen the opposite.
BP I have no preconceived notion about you. If this is your belief then fine that is your opinion and I respect that. I for one completely disagree and guess we must agree to disagree.
Good luck with your current relationship. I am sure you are by all counts a decent person.
Jade |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Ilsanman
Joined: 15 Aug 2003
Location: Bucheon, Korea
|
| Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2005 5:28 pm Post subject: yes |
|
|
| little mixed girl wrote: |
sex on a first date = wh0rish.
that is all.
thank u. |
So how about 2nd date? 3rd date? Is there some number set in stone that tells what is ok and what isn't?
How about if they have known each other for years, but just start dating, and *beep* on the 1st night? Is that ok? |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Billy Pilgrim
Joined: 08 Sep 2004
|
| Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2005 6:20 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| jaderedux wrote: |
BP I have no preconceived notion about you. If this is your belief then fine that is your opinion and I respect that. I for one completely disagree and guess we must agree to disagree.
|
Yep. Sorry about my post, which may have tipped over into a condescending rant on more than a few occasions, when it had no right to do so. Your opinion is your opinion, and you didn't try to ram it down my throat like I probably did.
Have a good Sunday.... |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Cedar
Joined: 11 Mar 2003
Location: In front of my computer, again.
|
| Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2005 10:22 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Tiger Beer wrote: |
Just curious.. your husband is Chinese and you are Canadian.. and you chose Korea to live? How? Why? Its interesting.. |
No, my husband is Tibetan and I am American.... of course he lives in China... according to the --political map--
It's okay, I can't remember where you are from, either.
I've been living in Korea since 1996 except for one year (in Tibetan China), I met my husband in 2000 (in Korea). I am in a Masters program... after I finish it, then it would be -very- legit to ask why I was still here, in the meantime, i just need to get through this and then he and I can decide where we both really want to be. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
JongnoGuru
Joined: 25 May 2004
Location: peeing on your doorstep
|
| Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2005 11:28 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Cedar wrote: |
| Tiger Beer wrote: |
Just curious.. your husband is Chinese and you are Canadian.. and you chose Korea to live? How? Why? Its interesting.. |
No, my husband is Tibetan and I am American.... of course he lives in China... according to the --political map--
It's okay, I can't remember where you are from, either.
I've been living in Korea since 1996 ... |
This conversation illustrates how I've misperceived things on Daves. I've always tended to think that the "old Davers" were a fairly close-knit crew. That they all knew each other pretty well, especially the more popular and active posters like Cedar and Tiger Beer.
The level of "inside-jokiness" you often see on the board suggests that much. And while it's only a year before I joined, to me "Joined: early 2003" = probably been kicking around years before that = wise (or wizened) old village elder = knows were the bodies are buried.
So, given the intricate and detailed "board knowledge" that the old Davers tend to possess, conversations like the one above are inevitably a bit surprising. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Wrench
Joined: 07 Apr 2005
|
| Posted: Sun May 01, 2005 1:18 am Post subject: |
|
|
Sex is good 
But on a first date I don't know.... I am a paranoid North American, before I even attempt to have sex I will ask for a blood test. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Cedar
Joined: 11 Mar 2003
Location: In front of my computer, again.
|
| Posted: Sun May 01, 2005 3:28 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Guess I am just not that good about remembering details about lots of people I can't even put a face to... I have been using the ESL Cafe since 1997. I can't remember when I started using this discussion forum but a long time ago, and I have always used the same name. But, I have met only about 3 people after first "meeting" them on this forum. Isn't that strange? |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
rapier
Joined: 16 Feb 2003
|
| Posted: Sun May 01, 2005 6:16 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Cedar wrote: |
| Guess I am just not that good about remembering details about lots of people I can't even put a face to... I have been using the ESL Cafe since 1997. I can't remember when I started using this discussion forum but a long time ago, and I have always used the same name. But, I have met only about 3 people after first "meeting" them on this forum. Isn't that strange? |
don't worry cedar, I've only met 7 people off here. I've never been to a gathering, just by pm. And I've been on here 2 years or so. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Tiger Beer
Joined: 07 Feb 2003
|
| Posted: Sun May 01, 2005 6:33 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| JongnoGuru wrote: |
| Cedar wrote: |
| Tiger Beer wrote: |
Just curious.. your husband is Chinese and you are Canadian.. and you chose Korea to live? How? Why? Its interesting.. |
No, my husband is Tibetan and I am American.... of course he lives in China... according to the --political map--
It's okay, I can't remember where you are from, either.
I've been living in Korea since 1996 ... |
This conversation illustrates how I've misperceived things on Daves. I've always tended to think that the "old Davers" were a fairly close-knit crew. That they all knew each other pretty well, especially the more popular and active posters like Cedar and Tiger Beer.
The level of "inside-jokiness" you often see on the board suggests that much. And while it's only a year before I joined, to me "Joined: early 2003" = probably been kicking around years before that = wise (or wizened) old village elder = knows were the bodies are buried.
So, given the intricate and detailed "board knowledge" that the old Davers tend to possess, conversations like the one above are inevitably a bit surprising. |
Learn things all the time.. did anyone know Cedar was married to a Tibetan man? Interesting though!
I think each of us on the Board are attracted to different kinds of thread titles and such.. so even if Cedar posts a lot.. it could very well be on things related to her interests.. which may or may not be ones that I might post on.
Its a big community on the board with A LOT of different circles of interests. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
|
|
FAQ
Search
Memberlist
Usergroups
Register
Profile
Log in to check your private messages
Log in
