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Hwajangsil Ajumma
Joined: 02 May 2005
Location: On my knees in the stall
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 Posted: Wed May 11, 2005 4:07 am Post subject: |
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| eamo wrote: |
After looking around for a while longer it became clear that it's the done thing to help each other out in the spa and give someone else a good, vigorous backscrub!! Whether you know them or not.
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I often volunteer my services to anybody who enters my hwajangsil. You'd be surprised how appreciative some of my clients, er, visitors are. Especially this one guy with sunglasses and a beard who looks a little like Rudy Ray Moore. |
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Badmojo
Joined: 07 Mar 2004
Location: I'm just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round
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| Posted: Wed May 11, 2005 4:36 am Post subject: |
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I'm a little surprised by the familiarity happening in some of the classes. I'm not criticizing, it's just something I want no part of.
I won't let the students touch me anywhere. Don't touch my leg, don't touch my arm. Don't touch me. There's no way I would even let them come close to giving me a massage. I know with the kids it's all innocent, but it makes me uncomfortable. For that same reason, I don't touch them either. I've never had an inkling to either. |
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Len8
Joined: 12 Feb 2003
Location: Kyungju
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| Posted: Wed May 11, 2005 5:56 am Post subject: |
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I did a massage course a while back and the class was mixed. Probably more females than men. In the middle of the course we got to massage each others bums. Skin to skin. Guys of course all managed to get a female partner. Anyway we were all taught that the bum holds all of our stress, repressed energy and what have you. It's a part of our body that we all need massaged.
Course was quite professional. Instructor tried to get us all to strip, but one of the girls was afraid to show the rash she had over part of her body. Previous courses by the same instructor had no problem with doing it in the buff. A lot of the paricipants were into the new age stuff. |
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JongnoGuru
Joined: 25 May 2004
Location: peeing on your doorstep
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| Posted: Wed May 11, 2005 5:59 am Post subject: |
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It's just a massaji culture, that's all. Korean kids give their moms, sisters, brothers, etc. little shoulder & neck rubs, little arm & leg massages at home, and they see & do it from the earliest ages. It's no big deal for them, I think.
In the West, though, we're more inclined to see it as a form of foreplay. And most Westerners suck at giving and receiving them. Way too much "oohing" and "aaahhhing" -- sounds like the soundtrack to a p0rno flick. |
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Derrek
Joined: 15 Jan 2003
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| Posted: Wed May 11, 2005 6:01 am Post subject: |
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I often give the girls pony tails a flick with my finger if they are sleeping or noisy, but that's about the extent of the touching I do in class.
Oh, but yesterday a very outgoing and somewhat annoying girl kept trying to pull my arm hair every time I walked by her table. The whole class noticed, and kept watching and waiting to see if she'd get me whenever I'd pass by.
So I got even.
As I passed by, and she made motions to pluck out a few hairs, I turned on her, grabbed one side of her head, and vigorously rubbed my hairy forearm into her opposite cheek. That made her scream like she was about to be hit by a truck.
The entire class burst into laughter, and it took a good minute to quiet them down.
The girl stopped picking at my arm hair.
I can do these kind of things in Korea and get away with it. Would never try that one back home. |
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sarahsarah
Joined: 05 Aug 2004
Location: Bundang
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| Posted: Wed May 11, 2005 6:08 am Post subject: |
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I don't think it's a big deal at all or sexual in anyway. I teach at a public high school and just yesterday one of my students, a 12th grade girl, gave me a shoulder massage and it was awesome. As a matter of fact, earlier that day I was thinking to myself, "hey I really need a massage". Perhaps they can read minds too.
A leg massage would be wierd and I wouldn't go for that but a shoulder massage, no problem.
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| I teach 1200 and I still give out the odd candy here and there. Mostly for kids who rarely speak in class but volunteer. I buy a big of mini tootsie pops for 5000 won from costco and I go through 4 in one year. |
Funny, I go through one of those about every 2 weeks and I only teach 200 students. Then again I do think that I give out candy rather excessively, but I like to do it so it's ok. |
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redd
Joined: 08 Nov 2004
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| Posted: Wed May 11, 2005 6:41 am Post subject: |
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In my family (11 grandkids), it's rare to get through a family gathering without all the cousins getting in a line to massage each other's shoulders. We usually have to make it a circle as the person at the front tends to skip out in order to avoid having to give one (every few minutes we switch & the person at the front falls to the back). One of my cousins is going through a massage therapy program, so getting in front of her will be popular. I'm considering taking a course too as a change of career.
I've got a wicked crick in my neck and tight shoulders - maybe tomorrow I'll try to casually make it known.  I completely agree with the "shoulders only" sentiment. |
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Ya-ta Boy
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: Established in 1994
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| Posted: Wed May 11, 2005 7:02 am Post subject: |
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Perhaps they can read minds too.
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I swear to Zeus they can. Or at least a very large number can.
I think I'm pretty decent at hiding my emotions when I'm having a bad day or worried about something outside of work. But it never ever fails that someone will ask me what is wrong. It's uncanny.
I always thought it came from when they didn't smile in public or show much facial expression and everyone got good at reading the subtle changes in faces.
Anyone else noticed this? |
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trevorcollins
Joined: 02 Jul 2004
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| Posted: Wed May 11, 2005 8:23 am Post subject: |
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| desultude wrote: |
| Haven't had a student massage your neck and shoulders? You're missing a treat- honestly. |
I agree. I haven't had one for a long time now, but that's one thing Korean parents seem to have really trained their children to do well. Some of those little kids can massage your shoulders hard. |
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R. S. Refugee
Joined: 29 Sep 2004
Location: Shangra La, ROK
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| Posted: Thu May 12, 2005 12:52 am Post subject: |
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| desultude wrote: |
| I think the problem is that we sexualize everything. Massage seems to be one of the best parts of the culture here. Get a hair cut or a facial, and you get a massage- and a good one at that. If I complain about my shoulders aching, a couple of my students have a go at them. These kids should be giving massages- it's good practice. |
I couldn't agree more with recognizing one of the most basic human needs -- touch. We in the USA, and I would guess GB and Canada are from non-touching cultures and it makes life more insipid as a result. Touch is an important element of health. Babies will die if they are not touched and held and the need for touch never leaves us though it is greatly repressed in many cultures. I read an article in the newspaper some many years ago about someone who had done a study of touching behavior in various cultures -- USA, GB, France, and Italy I think it was. They observed people from those cultures (just acqaintances or friends, not lovers) conversing and counted the number or times they touched.
OK. Time to use your thinking cap and guess what the comparative results were. Please arrange the order of those 4 countries from the one which had the least amount of touching to the one that had the most.
All done? OK. Scroll down and you'll see the answer from the least touching to the most touching.
USA, GB, France, Italy.
Surprised?
So, it's unfortunate that it's so inseparately linked to sexual interaction in some cultures. It means that people often go through life suffering the neurotic effects of what I call "skin hunger," the need for touch. Especially in Western culture where there are more and more people who remain single in recent decades.
What I do is I mostly touch men that I'm having a conversation with because if I touch women like that (put my hand on their shoulder or something), it's puts me in danger of being misconstrued (though I do often shake hands with women for some touching reason). The other thing that I've done over the past 20 or so years is go out contra dancing generally several times a week as there is a whole lot of socially safe touching going on in that group folk dancing setting.
I have known extreme neurotics who would practically jump out of their skins if someone put a hand on their shoulder. Sad.
So, this is one aspect of Korean culture that I will easily and happily adjust to.  
Though I think that propriety would suggest that it should be limited to head, shoulders, and arms with students. |
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Real Reality
Joined: 10 Jan 2003
Location: Seoul
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