Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Tiny_Tibbo]

I'm a little confused. Well thats an understatment. Maybe its me and my PMS. Or maybe its a personailty conflict. But I have such a hard time communicating with my supervisor. But I notice everytime she speaks to me about normal workplace functioning (class time, scheduling, duties etc) its always an acusation and not a a question.
for example:
Her: "you did not follow the scheduled lesson plan for thursday, like this schedule means nothing"
...instead of
Her "why did you not follow the scheduled lesson plan?."

Let me state it is a schedule i must come up with and is subject to change at anytime she feels I should cover another topic (usually to reinforce the learning in her class so she can get the credit froms parents). but thats only one example. and at first I thought it was just a language barrier. maybe she doesn't know that its more polite to ask than to accuse. So thats fine. But then i find that i'm being accused of not following directions when we have discussed to do things differently. as if anything i say goes in one ear and out the other and what ever she is thinking is how its going to happen then she wonders why i didn't do it then accuses.
for example
HER: "you do the reading book on thursdays"
ME: "i did the reading book on thursdays and it didn't leave me with enough time to finish my phonic book work for the month and to properly teach the vocab, so can i use thursdays for one of the phonic letters instead?"
HER:"yes if you think it will work better, then you can do that"

Next month comes
Her "you forgot the rule about reaading the book on thursdays."
Me:"oh i thought you said that i could do the phonics book instead"
Her "no you forgot the rule that i said you must do the reading book on thursdays. we will have another meeting to discuss this"

OR
Her "when you do the evaluations tell the parents the kids are cute"
ME "you really want me to say that??"
Her "yes i think the parents will like it"
.....so i described their wonderful smile or laugh etc.....
Her "this is not good, you talked about how they are not about how they are at english, you have to do them over"
.....???? ....this happens all the time. Over and over again. To the point i'm so confused about anything that is supposed to happen or not happen during class that i've stopped discussing anythin with anyone at work and try to focus on havin fun with the kids.

So i'm on here cuz i just wanna know from people's experience is there somethin i'm not gettin here?? There seems to be no recognition when i say what is/isn't working for MY class and anything that i am told doesn't make things easier, only complicates things......i mean the expectations here r unreal. I do like my director and i do like my school. the only conflict is with the supervisor. how do i handle this type of communication and relationship .....or should i just shut up, take orders and be a confused puppet??

PS: found out yesterday the new kid in my class is 2!!!! thats korean years!!!

PPS: no harsh critisim or pointless comments, please....I faced enough of that at work today.

[Tiny_Tibbo]

ok i guess it is me then....thanks for the support.....

[peppermint]

How's her English? A lot of the time, when a person is speaking another language the subtlety is lots, and things sound a lot harsher than they intend to. Sounds like that's part of it.

It sucks but it also sounds like this woman is a little. . scattered to say the least.. Try to appease her as best you can, while being a good teacher, and try to leave work related crap at the office when you leave. Tough I know, but better for your sanity in the long run.

[Qinella]

[Tiny_Tibbo]

yeah i did talk about both but she then wanted to me to take out any reference to their personality and rewrite them all.....i give up.....
and why is it ok for them to change my plans and then scould me for not stickin to them when their demands change them?
Yeah I must be PMS'n hard......

[the_beaver]

Always wondered what I'd do in this same situation. Figured I'd get an audio recorder to play back what was said.

[matthewwoodford]

She may be being rude and inconsistent because a) as peppermint pointed out, her English isn't good enough that she knows how to be polite or b) as your perceived superior she feels no need to be polite or c) she is a rude and inconsistent person or d) all of the above.

I believe your experience is not unique at all and the best way to save yourself a lot of stress is to let everything she says blow over your head and just do whatever you think best. If/when she confronts you over anything just keep repeating your own points over and over in your most reasonable voice until she goes away.

Well, anyway, that's what I'd do.

[vdowd]

Just have to agree with the last poster. I, too, noticed the fact that you were angry that no one had responded within an hour and wondered if this was just frustration or a general impatience. If it was impatience, could that be affecting your communicatn.

OK, enough of that but I will suggest something that has worked well with me. Make notes in a journal of the important things discussed in a journal - changes of procedure, requests from supervisor, etc. in her prescence - explain that you want to be very clear as to the changes, instructions involved. If you really think she won't believe (remember it), have her sign off on it and keep it with you always. When questioned(accused) of not following orders, pull it out and read it or let her read her words.

I started doing this several months ago in the same situation and it has worked very well for me. Good luck.

[Tiny_Tibbo]

i think she also doesn't realize how hard it is to teach 2-5 years olds with no korean teachers. I spend so much time and energy tryin to keep them focused with a language they don't know. Its like she thinks i can accomplish all these things in 40 minutes when so much of it is tryin to keep em undercontrol. They listen to her (of course) but no one seems to see how hard it is for me to teach being a foreigner....

[Demonicat]

hehe, for a while there I thought you were my co-worker (whose a Korean) because we are in the same boat. Why do wrongjons think that we can teach children who have never been disciplaned (darn 2-5 year olds) to speak English when they can't even speak Korean well. Its f'ing nuts. The way I deal with it is not good. I just let the young hellions run the halls and bother the Korean staff while I teach the 5 and ups. Meh.
As for the admin, Koreans can be nuts. I know that statement will be eaten alive, but quite frankly its true. The biggest problem most of us have is that we tend to consider ourselves teachers at a school. the truth is that we're Tutors. We aren't supposed to really teach, we're supposed to bring in and retain clients. To do this one needs a level of capitalistic blood lust that even this Republican can't muster. Its crazyness. heh, I wish I could give you some decent advice, but as I'm currently looking for a new job (tired of 10 hour shifts [not split mind you], but thats a different thread)

[SweetBear]

Sorry but I think you've got to take a stand. My personal experience is that once confronted, even if they don't really understand everything that you are saying, many Koreans will back down and not bother you too much again. What has worked for me is to listen exactly to the vocabulary that the person is using, be quite animated with your gestures and use that same vocabulary to get your point across. It's sad to say that many wonjang's are on a power trip, which is quite natural and acceptable for their culture. It just sounds to me like you are being a bit of a doormat for her whims and bad communication. ( no offense)
I wish you the best as I know just how hard it can be.
Sb

[Tiny_Tibbo]

so i'm not a teacher??...lol....i feel like a show at the circus...lol..... i don't have to make sure that the 2-5 year olds learn all 20 vocab words for the month??? lol......i feel like i waste so much energy tryin to teach so much when i could focus on a few things that would really help them....

[Tiny_Tibbo]

yeah i try to stand up for my self but nothin I say ever matters.....nothing......if i speak back as to give my explaination she turns it into a confrontation and then tells the director that i argue with her....lol...when it was just an explanation...lol.....i've never had this issue with any boss before...she definatly likes to assert her "authority".....it just catches me off gaurd, kinda shakes my litle hippie realm....everytime.....i figure i should ignore most of it...ar at least try.....its not like they'll fire me over it....i do do my job.....or will they?? .....lol

[d503]

It is hard at first. You will get a lot of complaints for your first months here. It is irratating as hell, and there is not a lot you can do. Those are the hardest ages, i think for fts...they don't know korean well, the don't know english, and they have no understanding of what school is.

I found a good way to cope a lot of times is to play dumb. When you are accused act like you don't understand their English, or that you think that is what you are doing. It is a bit mean, but it works.

[SweetBear]