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Korean Job Discussion Forums "The Internet's Meeting Place for ESL/EFL Teachers from Around the World!"
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captain kirk
Joined: 29 Jan 2003
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Posted: Wed May 11, 2005 6:44 am Post subject: |
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From what you say this supervisor is on the warpath and has a chip on her shoulder. It's really funny how everything she says is like an accusation (chip on her shoulder).
She doesn't like you because you are a foreigner? Pretty? Get paid more?
Whatever the reason she seems too volatile to mess with. And, from her attitude, I wouldn't be surprised if she's getting some back up from the boss (in terms of cattiness).
Playing dumb is a good idea. That's kind of passive and doesn't drain off energy. And she's not worth it. You'd, going off the handle with her, be both hard at it. Raised voices and so on, big scenes. The boss would probably back up your supervisor.
I heard on this forum this advice; 'If you kowtow, you might not get screwed. If you don't take any crap, you'll get screwed'.
Kowtow and take up meditation or some grounding/soothing pastime that builds peace of mind, strength, confidence. And regard the supervisor as a passing hag? |
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d503

Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Location: Daecheong, Seoul
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Posted: Wed May 11, 2005 7:00 am Post subject: |
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| captain kirk wrote: |
| Kowtow and take up meditation or some grounding/soothing pastime that builds peace of mind, strength, confidence. And regard the supervisor as a passing hag? |
might I encourage boomerang throwing..it has done wonders for me. I find it a great way to release the stress of crappy days at work. |
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SweetBear

Joined: 18 May 2003
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Posted: Wed May 11, 2005 7:28 am Post subject: |
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| captain kirk wrote: |
From what you say this supervisor is on the warpath and has a chip on her shoulder. It's really funny how everything she says is like an accusation (chip on her shoulder).
She doesn't like you because you are a foreigner? Pretty? Get paid more?
Whatever the reason she seems too volatile to mess with. And, from her attitude, I wouldn't be surprised if she's getting some back up from the boss (in terms of cattiness).
Playing dumb is a good idea. That's kind of passive and doesn't drain off energy. And she's not worth it. You'd, going off the handle with her, be both hard at it. Raised voices and so on, big scenes. The boss would probably back up your supervisor.
I heard on this forum this advice; 'If you kowtow, you might not get screwed. If you don't take any crap, you'll get screwed'.
Kowtow and take up meditation or some grounding/soothing pastime that builds peace of mind, strength, confidence. And regard the supervisor as a passing hag? |
I agree with this to a large extent. In fact I follow it, but then when it comes time to say okay, enough is enough, I have no hesitation in being direct and forthright, which works in my favor. People are surprised and tend to listen more if you are quiet and passive most of the time, but then won't compromise your values if they are deep seated. There must be a saying about it. Awakening a sleeping bear? Maybe once a year I have had a confrontation or disagreement. It has only ever been for the better.
sb |
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turtlepi1

Joined: 15 Jun 2004 Location: Abu Dhabi, UAE
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Posted: Wed May 11, 2005 10:18 am Post subject: |
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/me wonders if Captain Kirk is breaking in a new sock...
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Tiny_Tibbo
Joined: 21 Apr 2005 Location: In My Skin
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Posted: Thu May 12, 2005 1:49 am Post subject: |
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yeah i rarely have confrontations.....like the previous poster says maybe once a year...i'm pretty laid back and easy to get along with. I wish i could play dumb but her english IS really good. So thats what pisses me off bec if she wanted to ask instead of accuse she probably could.
and another thing i can't figure out that came up again in the meeting this morning. I told her, like i told her many times before, i'm having a hard time accomplishing everything that is asked of me in class due to constant interruptions, and i do mean constant by the kids. they're only little i understand but i spend more time making them pick up the things they throw, wipin boogers and gettin them to sit down...not to mention stop talkin or singing, then i do actually teachin them somthin. Then she goes into her speal (sp??) that all the teachers at the kinder work really hard and they don't complain and they do their job. so why am i complaining.I told her many times i'm not complaining i just don't know how i can accomplish her goals with the way my classes go. especially since i'm gettin no support from anyone. why am i being compared to the other korean teachers? and really if we wanna play the who works harder game...i can't communicate with any of my co-workers so while they're havin all their girly chats before and after classes i'm still workin!!! Does anyone know why i would be compared to the other teachers, that don't even teach english?? And why she thinks i don't wanna work hard when i'm comming to her with my problems in class? |
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Shapur
Joined: 27 Jan 2003
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Posted: Fri May 13, 2005 9:37 pm Post subject: Start looking for a new job? |
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It's hard to say without witnessing your situation first hand; but from the information you gave in your post I get the impression you are not wanted in your school. The constant criticism from the supervisor and lack of support from other staff are warning signs. What is the attitude of the other Korean staff towards you? Are they cold or distant at all? It could be that she is designated 'hatchet woman'.
On the other hand maybe she's just a Queen b****. What about the other staff and their attitude towards your supervisor? Do they have a problem with her too? Is she part of the group or is she out there on her own? Does she treat the other teachers like crap or does she only have a problem with you?
Anyway, if she speaks "really good English" as you say, try the direct approach. Have a talk with her in private (tape the conversation if you must). Tell her clearly and calmly what your concerns are. If her English ain't that hot. Write her a letter (and keep a photocopy). If you want to cover yourself give her the photocopy and give another to your director.
Being a bit of a veteran of office politics in Korea (if anything office workers can be more petty than hagwon workers ) I can vouch that flexing your claws is almost always enough to make a bully like this woman back off. Find a way to F*** with her in return. Make it clear that she is making an enemy and you will damage her if you can. That has always worked for me.
You are not powerless here and you are nobody's punching bag. You have alot of options.
However, you are also a free person. Is it really worth the effort? If the situation is making you this unhappy you can always just quit and get a different job. |
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Yu_Bum_suk

Joined: 25 Dec 2004
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Posted: Sat May 14, 2005 4:12 am Post subject: |
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| You deserve lots of credit just for being at a kingergarten and trying so hard. |
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