Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Babayaga]

I haven't yet seen any postings regarding this topic,so I want to share my own experiences with regard to this aspect of living in Korea.


Although I have heard a lot of positive feedbacks about this experience,I have also heard and have experienced first-hand a negative side of it!


When contemplating doing this,always consider the following:

1) Peculiarities of Korean culture:

When you'll move in with the family,they will automatically

consider you as part of their family,which means you will


be expected to eat meals with them,share their hobbies and be subjected to intense questioning about your personal life and criticism.


2) Your personality.


If you're an outgoing,open-- minded person,the above scrutiny will be manageable.In my case,I'm a shy,introverted individual,and the interrogation that I was subjected to was unbearable and humiliating!


3) Safety.


Homestays are not always safe.In my case,I was attacked by

a regular male guest of my hosts,who claimed that I was in HIS

room! My hosts didn't bother consulting thier schedule to see if anyone else was coming,thus making me feel like a burden! 'm a woman and got scared that I will eventually get

raped,so I left before my 2 weeks were up!

And ,yes, RAPE IS possible,according to some of my Korean

friends.



So,don't go too trustingly into this situation!

[bossaco]

one of my friends was on homestay before, and she decided to move out after less than a month of living with a korean family...

her reasons? they expected her to tutor the kids in the family after work in the evening and on saturdays, her only day-off...

the family imposed a curfew for her at 11PM...

they always turn the tv to an english channel even if she wants to expose herself to korean shows, so she can learn the language better...

they treated her so much like a daughter it almost suffocated her...

now she felt free and living in a kositel near korea university...

[Babayaga]

You're so right,Bosacco! I also felt suffocated by all that questioning,particularly when the obstinate husband refused to believe any of my explanations.I felt like I was in court under cross--examination! They also imposed a curfew on me:to stay out of the house between 10 a.m. and 10 p.m. even though I paid them w 12,000 per day! Worse,they expected me to tell them about my day,even though I was exhausted after my entire day out,accusing me of going into my room and closing the door! They also criticised me for not attending thier stupid foreigner's meetings that they held at 7 p.m. on FRI,all the while telling me not to return home before 10 p.m. Yes,the Koreans can be very demanding and unreasonable!

[mindmetoo]

Koreans I think just don't get the idea you might want to be alone.

[sheba]

Yep I have been there....

I met the family in my home country and I had wanteed to stay with a family to experience the culture before getting a job. Big mistake. I was sceduled to stay for 10 weeks, and on day 3 I had my flights changed to 5 weeks. I was counting the days from then on...

I was not allowed to go anywhere alone (in case I got lost, abducted, etc), but the host mother wouldnt take me any where. For 5 weeks I didnt make a single friend or meet a single foreigner. My life consisted of staying home all day unless my host mum had something planned, like visiting her friends (none of which could speak english). She criticised my choices of souvenirs, my pressies to take home for family, the clothes I wore.... and then the day I was packing to leave, I had to throw out some clothes to have enough room in my bags, she approaches me with 5kg of gifts to take back to her friends in nz... all day we had 'discussions' about this... and yes, I lost. My clothes stayed in Korea (trash bag), and her gifts went back to nz.

All I can say is to anyone thinking of doing it.... DONT!!!

[pollyplummer]

I was 17 when I first came to Korea to train for Taekwondo nationals back home. I had a home stay situation at first, and it was miserable!! They tried to give me a curfew, but I just pretended that I didn't understand them. In those days I liked to drink a lot and didnt want anyone telling me what to do. This family was psycho. The dad would walk around in his underwear after work, not boxers, mind you, tighty whities. I was like, "Sick, dude, what is this?" The wife and children served him like a king. He always wanted to prattle on to practice his non-existant english skills. Imagine me sitting there having to endure conversations with this weird guy in his underwear. Their kids were in middle school/high school, and they wanted me to tutor them as well. But the kids were tooo danged lazy and never wanted to study or have any lessons. After a couple months there I couldnt take it any longer and moved out to a boarding house for foreign taekwondo players where I was training. I think the family was happy as well. I remember coming downstairs for breakfast the first morning I was there. "What?! Fish for breakfast? Where's the Captain Crunch?" Korean homestay was one of the most uncomfortable experiences I've ever had. Very, very stifling. My expectations were all wrong. It was nothing like Karate Kid II. Because that's Japan, not Korea.

[JongnoGuru]

I don't know if the experiences of four people are enough to support a definitive verdict, but clearly there is a pattern emerging here. If you're a young Western woman (does a 17-yr-old qualify? even one that drinks a lot?) then a homestay in Korea is probably going to make you "miserable" and drive you out. Or nuts.

Despite that, it's clear from the posts here that homestays can teach a foreigner many things about Korean society and culture that other visitors to Korea (tourists, students, teachers, businesspeople, diplomats, etc.) are likely never to see. A rare, sustained, firsthand, and very personal look into the Korean character and the workings of Korean family/home life, I think. And yet everyone posting here seems to have hated it. Hmm. Is that because they're all foreigners, or all Western women, or all individually headstrong? Or is it because living with a Korean family is simply disagreeable in and of itself?

[Corporal]

[Ya-ta Boy]

I've never once heard of a positive experience with homestays. There must be some, but I've never come across it.

[sheba]

[peppermint]

I got roped into staying with the manager of my hagwon's family for a couple of weeks, during my first contract here. I went out for dinner with the other teachers, and they thought I'd pulled a runner. It was mostly tolerable, until the manager started beating his wife one morning.

[chiaa]

I did a homestay for my first month or perhaps two here and the people were great. The only rule that they had was that I could not have one of my lady friends stay over night (very understandable). One really positive thing about a homestay is that the wife will set up so many privates for you that you will not be able to walk straight.

This whole deal was set up through my hagwon and I made it perfectly clear from the very start that this would only be short term and they would eventually have to get me my own place.

I did end the homestay rather quickly because my bed was hard as a rock-my shoulder actually hurt EVERY morning- and becaue I could not have one of my lady friends stay over night.

[chance2005]

I would expect in general for a homestay with a Korean family to be unpleasant....overbearing father, picky mother, and quiet, shy, or obnoxious spoiled children. I did however have a different experience. I stayed with a family for six weeks in Pusan in 1996. Completely unrelated to hagwon work. I was visiting friends in Pusan for about two months and was introduced to a family just by chance. I had actually planned to stay in a yogwan during that time, but the family offered to put me up for free for six weeks with no strings attached. I suppose they expected a little English tutoring but that was never actually stated outright. I had my own room. In the beginning they did wake me up for breakfast at 7:00 am. This only lasted for several days though. I didn't like the formality of breakfast. The father was quiet, serious, and somewhat intimidating. When it became apparent that I was out till very late almost every night, they gave me a key and stopped waking me up at 7:00am. Instead I would get up around noon and the mother was quite happy to make me lunch and then try to earnestly communicate with me in Korean while I ate. Luckily I had been studying alot for the past year so I could grasp some of what she said. Most of the conversation was quite personal such as their finances, housing costs, and other family issues. In the evenings when I would come home early, I made sure to leave my bedroom door open and speak English with their children as much as possible. They would come in and out with homework questions and various other questions/conversation. No pressure to teach.
All in all it was a good experience, though I would not want to do it again. Of course now I am 33 and I don't want to live with anyone's family, American or Korean.

[JongnoGuru]

Chiaa, Chiaa, Chiaa... Sore back? What does a sponge yo cost? Nothing, that's how much. And what's all this about overnight lady friends? You must know that prostitution is illegal in this country. And only prostitutes have extra- or pre-marital sex. But it's nice to hear that your homestay arrangement worked out for the most part.

[sheba]

Well first of all, I wasnt comparing our experiences (mine and the family). I was merely saying that I expected a bit of sympathy for the situation - new culture, language, food, social system etc. The host mother said she was lonely in my country, so I would have thought she would encourage my own social life (like letting me go out). She said she loved people taking her sightseeing, so I thought maybe shed do the same for me (seeing as I wasnt allowed to do it alone).

Secondly, I thought it was clear to my host family that I was coming over as a holiday. It was to experience the culture before committing to a job. Obviously there was a misunderstanding. They were asking me from day 2 why I wasnt already looking for a job, and they were asking how long I was staying because they needed the room for family in 6 weeks time. I didnt want to leave after 3 days, I just knew I couldnt stay longer than 5 weeks. Which in the end served me well because I was not allowed to travel or go out alone... I was miserable after about 10 days and it never got better.... There were days where I would do absolutely nothing.... I wasnt allowed to go out alone, I had no friends, the mother spoke only very basic english, we werent allowed to watch tv.... it could be 3 days before we left the apartment,and that was to go shopping or to have lunch with her non-english speaking 35-45 yr old friends. Oh, I did get go out on saturdays to tutor her friends kids for free...

There were heaps of things wrong with my homestay, and a few good, but i didnt want to make it into an essay... though I now feel forced to explain my position.

And lastly, I dont think there is a 'type' of person who would enjoy this sort of thing. Being male, female, western whatever... it all depends on the circumstances involved and the way the person reacts.... well thats what I think anyway.

I feel in somewhat of a defensive position here... sorry if I took it the wrong way.