Korean Job Discussion Forums

[canadian_in_korea]

I've never been in a homestay situation myself, but while I was in Korea I met a lady who wanted to talk to me about "why Canadians don't like Korean people". She went on to tell me that her daughter is staying in toronto with a canadian family but they treat her terribly. They don't do anything take care of her, they only give her 'humble' food...things like this. I tried to explain that in canada when 'children' are in university they usually take care of themselves to a certain extent.....and a sandwhich for lunch is quite common in canada, we generally don't eat full course meals for breakfast lunch and dinner. Sometimes its not only cultural differences that matter, each family is also different, some more strict and some more open minded. I have a friend who is chinese-indonesian, he stayed with a canadian family for a year, he was counting down the days until he could move out... In all fairness the family was a bit warped, I met them once when my friend gave me this "you see what i mean" look.....the only thing I could say.....WHOA... Well he survived, and luckily he knows that not all canadian families are like that one. Whenever someone in korea asked me about their child going overseas I always stressed the point that to learn the culture and customs of that country is VERY important, unfortunately most people only focus on the language.

[Derrek]

[sheba]

Yea it can work both ways...

I have a chinese friend who lived with host families for her first three months back home. the first was great but they shifted after a few weeks, so she went to another family. This family happened to be heavy drug users and they took advantage and abused her (emotionally). Then she made another chinese friend and he tried to rape her. Then she did a runner on her host family and moved into my (now ex) boyfriends flat. We helped her a lot - fended off the attempted rapist who was stalking her and took her to the police. She is now flatting with other students, mostly good, has a long tem boyfriend, and is about to finish her 3rd year at university.

A very horrific story, but also very true. Theres no way i would stay in the country after that happened!! Makes my story sound pathetic!

[Babayaga]

Hi again, Hanson! Why are you so stubbornly insisting that I'm a negative person who enjoys reading about other negative experiences for no other reason than that "misery loves company"? Haven't you read any of my explanations? The reason that I was glad (and not "gleeful"! ) that other people had the same problems with their homestays is not because I want to trash homestays or Koreans,etc.,etc. and spread negativity on this board,but because it was COMFORTING (as one reader suggested) to know that it may have been just the nature of the experience itself (i.e. different culture,specific family situation,personality of hosts,etc.) that created an unhappy situation during my homestay and that my reactions of disappointment, shock and hurt were just normal human reactions (simply called culture shock!)

My experience left me in doubt of my worth as a human being and of my ability to cope with negative situations ! After reading that others were dragged into sharing activities with their hosts, about curfews imposed on them and illogical demands placed on them and their reactions of reluctance,frustration and irritation I realized that it was just a normal human experience and not just something that happened to me because of my ineptness or the intolerance of my character!


For example,my hosts wanted me to do Karaoke with them which I refused because I don't like singing in front of other people when unprepared. My hosts immediately interpreted it as my being unfriendly,secretive(i.e. not wanting to show the inadequacies in my voice,etc) and dishonest. And why? Because I'm a trained musician,and to them it meant that I SHOULD be comfortable with singing unprepared in public when any logical person would argue differently.And they stubbornly refused to believe my explanations! The list goes on....



With regard to the title "Avoid illusions" it was just to warn people that they should not assume or expect another good homestay just because they've already had one good one (Read my description of a good homestay that I had!) or because their hosts have been described in glowing terms by their friends. In my case the 2nd family ( a couple ) were social workers who ran a service for foreigners out of thier home and were described as being "western in their thinking". I expected a situation where the hosts would be understanding and enlightened as to western ways.


Note I said " Avoid ILLUSIONS" not " Avoid ALL Homestays"!

[Babayaga]

I feel like adding some insights regaring this experience. As one poster noted,it seemed that mostly young women resented this experience.I think I know why.When I was staying with my social worker hosts, I noticed that the majority(if not all) of their guests were male.Most of them looked like half-crazed former convicts (including the jerk that attacked me) who were in Korea because they couldn't hack it back home,AND YET they were treated with a lot more respect and reverence than I was. Is it possibly because women are viewed as inferior in Korea? Perhaps the reason Kimbelina was kept at home is because she was viewed as a vulnerable female?

[Cedar]

I did a homestay once, set up through my friend (a foreigner) because I was going to be short a house for a month. It was very nice, though an inconvenient location. The husband wanted to practice for an hour or so every day, but got home so late and so we ended up usually 30 minutes at 6:30 or so in the morning (I also had to get up about that time)... but not that everyday, either. They were sweet as could be, food was no problem (even though I am veggie), they didn't charge me a thing... their little boy was an angel, he even started getting upset when I'd leave for the day! I still talk to them and meet them when I can. I stayed there almost an entire month, and when it was time to move out I felt sad cause I knew that Ansan was too far away for me to meet them often. Of course I am not a partying teenager. I was engaged then, so not likely to have any friends I wanted to stay over...

I think with homestays the most important thing is that you check them out in some way first. The couple I was with were pretty young and flexible, though I didn't need much flex, since I act pretty much Korean.

[Hanson]

[Babayaga]

Yes,you're right,Hanson! I didn't make my situation very clear in my


other posts. I was just gushing,trying to get the experience out of my



system(Catharsis,I guess!)! I should have presented my arguments in a



clearer and more logical manner.


No hard feelings from me as well!

Cheers!

[Big_Bird]

[taegu girl]

I did a homestay with a family in which the father had lived overseas doing an internship (he is a plastic surgeon), the mom was extremely open minded and the kids were great. They expected nothing, i had my own room, and a friend of mine set me up with the family. They wanted to be a homestay family and expose their kids to english in a natural way and at the time i was living in a yo-gwan. It worked out great for us. I had already lived in Korea 1 year so i knew how to get around on my own. I ended up living there 1 1/2 years with them. Of course, no overnight stays but my friends could come over, i could come home when i wanted and nothing was ever said if i was late or on a trip. Even now that i am back in the States 4 years later, we still keep in contact and i plan to visit them when i go to korea in the fall for a visit. Maybe this is an exception to the rule, but there are families out there that are definitely foreign friendly. Get a friend to hook you up with someone they know, don't go into it blindly.

[chance2005]

[JongnoGuru]

The only songs I know by heart are a few old ditties that eulogise the heroic exploits of the Japanese Imperial Army. They tend not to go over so well here, I've found. But that's just fine, as I don't particularly like the whole norae bang experience anyway.

[Babayaga]

Babayaga wrote: " For example,my hosts wanted me to do Karaoke with them which I refused because I don't like singing in front of other people when unprepared. My hosts immediately interpreted it as my being unfriendly,secretive(i.e. not wanting to show the inadequacies in my voice,etc) and dishonest. And why? Because I'm a trained musician,and to them it meant that I SHOULD be comfortable with singing unprepared in public when any logical person would argue differently.And they stubbornly refused to believe my explanations!"




Chance 2005 wrote:

"...in Korea, when you choose not to do something with the group, people react negatively, even if it your own personal preference"




I have a nice voice,but I don't like singing in front of people,unless I've practised. That's how trained musicians act. My hosts stubbornly rejected my explanations. I know that doing Karaoke is a group activity in Korea,denoting friendliness,etc. However,it shocked me that people who work with foreigners(my hosts) didn't have any concept that people from other cultures may not be interested in doing this,or that every individual may have their own preferences. Basically,I found my hosts very narrow--minded and unaware,which is why my homestay was such an iiritaing,annoying experience!

[shevek]

I went to Korea for a little vacation because I had a friend in university in the states originally from Seoul. She asked me to stay with her and her family for the summer and I thought it would be interesting. I found out about how many jobs there are teaching English during the first month and got a job of my own during the second, so after she went home, I stayed with her family for a while. I was supposed to stay indefinitely, but they became intolerable. I was 23 at the time, but they imposed a curfew after my friend had left and did a lot of the other things that other posters mentioned like not considering my room at all private and not considering my time my own, but rather theirs to fill with English tutoring for their friends' children. They made some really good food though. I love fish soup for breakfast. If I had wanted to learn Korean, it would have been a great opportunity. But I was just staying there because it's where I started when I came over with my friend. Once I got my own place I lost almost all touch with the Korean world and just became another English teacher hanging out in English speaking places. It was sad because it was less rich, but a lot easier and less annoying.

[periwinkle]

How old are you guys doing the home stays? I was an exchange student to Greece when I was 16. Same thing? Do you pay the family money? Is this through an organization? I went through Youth For Understanding, and there were rules the families had to follow. I had a great time, but it was Greece...